Episode 5

full
Published on:

15th Jul 2022

Melissa Spence | Resilient and Strong

Join us for Decadent Care, November 8-9 in Winnipeg, MB:

https://decadentcare.ca

Melissa shares her journey of growing up in a Christian home within Poplar River First Nation and the challenges she faced in finding her voice in a patriarchal church environment. She delves into her struggle with reconciling her leadership roles in the corporate world versus the church, and how she drew strength from her faith to overcome these obstacles. The conversation touches on themes of reconciliation, both with God and within the community, highlighting the need for open dialogue, respect, and unity among Indigenous and non-Indigenous churches. Melissa's heartfelt stories and insights offer powerful reflections on healing, forgiveness, and the transformative power of Jesus' love.

Timestamps

[03:22] Struggle with inequality in corporate and church.

[07:52] Finding new purpose after confusion and frustration.

[09:41] Reconciliation, love, and working for His love.

[15:32] Call for reformation to heal racial divide.

[18:25] Teenage abandonment, religious blame, and divine love.

[21:29] Assessing gospel living and intimacy with God.

[24:18] Striving for deeper love, service, and discernment.

[29:28] Learning and aligning with missionary vision and ministry.

[30:24] Residential schools aimed to destroy Indigenous identity.

[34:32] Following Jesus's example in everyday life.

[38:44] We show love, kindness, respect, humility. Respect for others' space and honor.

[40:15] Real reconciliation through open and honest dialogue.

[43:39] Joining missionary work, faced personal challenges, encouragement.

[49:26] Embrace God's love, overcome fear, find comfort.

[50:53] In weakness, find strength to be like Jesus.

Other Links

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Editing and production by Johan Heinrichs: arkpodcasts.ca

Mentioned in this episode:

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Transcript
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Reconciliation. What does this mean to you?

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This is the Journey with Care podcast, where we navigate honest

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conversations about faith, culture, and loving our neighbors.

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I am the host, Melvina Gabosch, and I am an indigenous

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lover of Jesus.

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Welcome to Journey with Care with Malvina Gabosch, where we are journeying

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with care. Today, we have Melissa Spence with

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us in studio. We have Melissa Spence with us. She

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is a pastor's wife from Blessings Church.

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She has her own ministry that she is been working on and developing

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with God. She has a heart for women, a heart for women to rise up,

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to preach, and to speak, and to, you know, share their stories. She's given

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many women the opportunity and the stage to

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speak their truth and to be everything that God has called them to

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be. Me and Melissa have hosted a women's conference together.

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So I've known her for a while. She's been such an encouragement in my

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life, a godly woman in my life, someone that I look up to, and

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someone that has mentored me in different areas of my walk and of my

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life with the Lord. So I'm excited to have her in the studio

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with us today. Hello, Melissa. Hello, Melvina.

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Well, I'm glad that you're able to join us today. Yes. I'm honored

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to have I'm exactly a little nervous today, but, you know, I

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just have some exciting things to share about what the Lord's been

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doing in my life and just tell my story. I don't really tell it very

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often, maybe in my church, but there's a select few that

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actually come regularly to hear it. You have a

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powerful story, a powerful testimony of what God has done in your

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life. And I wanted to invite you around the table

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and just to be able to share that and to share your voice

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with the rest of the world and and our listeners, our podcast

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listeners. I feel that your voice is very powerful and

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God is using it in a mighty way. So thank you for coming

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and joining us. So tell us a little bit about yourself, and then

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we'll go into a little bit about ministry. Okay. Well, I

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come from Poplar River First Nation, which is on the east side of Lake

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Winnipeg, and it's a remote community fly in. We have a

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winter road, so I grew up there, pretty sheltered

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coming out to the city once in a while and traveling in the summer

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to various camp meetings with my family. So I grew up in

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a primarily Christian home up until,

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about my mid teens, when my, my

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family fell apart. In my teen years, I moved to Winnipeg

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to, you know, pursue my education and been pretty

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much at home in Winnipeg. So my upbringing

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was Christian based, but there was a lot of religion and a lot of patriarchal

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views. And I kind of suffered through that and it,

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it took me what, 27 years with the

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Lord, just trying to navigate who

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I am. What does the Lord want me to do? He gave me a

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vision way back when I was a, a young girl and I'm

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thinking, how is that? And I translate into this patriarchal

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view that I'm only to be a helper Mhmm.

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And not really necessarily a leader.

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And my voice didn't matter as what

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I was kind of in that environment that my voice didn't

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matter, and I was a lower than than a man. So I

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spent a lot of time working behind the scenes and

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not recognizing that the Lord,

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you know, the Lord just did a work in me in the last few

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years, and this took me around. And it's interesting that

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I I have a professional background, and I worked in the corporate world for

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about 12 years, prior 2019

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and my two worlds didn't match up. I

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kind of felt like I was this one way in the corporate world. I was

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a manager, kind of worked my way up and had a

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voice. People respected that voice. But on the other

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side, in the church world, I didn't have a voice and it

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didn't really matter. And I just it just felt that

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way. And it was kind of reinforced really because,

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although I've been pastoring with my husband, co pastoring, Blessings

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Church and since was it 2,008 in November?

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So in November, it'll be 14 years. It it was just this

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culture that, you know, the men would call the men up. And

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it was just this culture of just

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not recognizing that the vast majority of

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women in are in the churches. There's a majority of women

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Mhmm. And very small percentage of men. But yet, there's

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a a big amount of men that are in leadership and not

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the women. And so I was a kind of woman that was

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just sitting in the corner getting frustrated

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because, I'm a leader in, you know, in the secular and

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in the corporate world, but I wasn't a leader. And I felt

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like I, I was like pretty much a mouse on the corner or a

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wildflower. You would call it. Nothing more than a helper.

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Nothing more than a helper. So, you know,

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it it got to the point where I got so frustrated. And I said, is

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this is this what it's supposed to be? I I think I think there's

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a big disconnect here. And, you know, we were brought up with,

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religious teachings and and just that bondage of religion

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to say that, well, you have to just take your lot in

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life because of what Eve did.

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Mhmm. But when I read the word of God, I'm thinking,

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well, Jesus died for all of us. And he set us free

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Wendi no veil was rent, when he died on that cross.

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So we have complete access to,

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our heavenly father. And it just didn't make sense

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why women were kind of relegated to just being helpers and, you

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know, to be silent in the church. And and I just

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thought, okay, so Jesus didn't set us free then.

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If that's what religion taught us, you're not really free. You're

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because you're a woman. So I studied and, but then

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it's reinforced. So after I went through

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a really tough time in the last 4 or 5

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years, and I've told my story, but I'm not gonna kind of go

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into that right now, but, but it it just made

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me come to this point where, okay, I'm not 2 people

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anymore. It's gotta be. I'm this way in a

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corporate world, and it's gotta match up with what is

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happening in the church. So I started getting my voice

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back and it was tough. It would it

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meant changes in my marriage. It meant

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changes with, my relationships with my children,

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with my extended family, my immediate family. But it

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it's about just putting boundaries and really asserting that

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I am a a woman. Yes. But I'm a child of God.

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Yes. When we get to heaven, there is no sex. There's no male and female.

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It's just that on earth we we have, but

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I'd kind of had to fight through that. And now

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now I'm just at this place where the Lord I know the

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Lord's calling me to something greater, and

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it mind boggles me where the Lord wants to take me. And my reaction to

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him is just like Moses. Why me? Like Why

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me, Lord? Yeah. Why me, Lord? I I really don't know how to

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speak. I'm been kind of in the shadows. So how

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is this gonna work and how, how is this gonna happen?

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So it's just this understanding of

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that, yes, I'm a co pastoring this church,

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but I have a calling that's, a calling that I

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didn't quite understand before. And, and that's the reason why

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I've been so frustrated with how things have been going and

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how things played out in my life. And just in the

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last couple of weeks, I I said, okay, lord. Okay.

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Now I know what you're doing. Because he he brought back the

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story of Moses, and I really like that story because

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he tried to make changes and set his people

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free. But, you know, he tried to do it on his own first.

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And then the Lord had to take him into a wilderness, and I felt that's

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where I've been. I've been in the wilderness for a number of years.

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And did the Lord, you know, talking to me

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and teaching me and and all this. And then there's this this point where

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he commissions Moses at the burning bush, that whole

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experience and this whole conversation. So

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I just feel that although Moses didn't quite

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understand, well, how am I gonna free all these

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all these millions of people out of slavery and

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no Wendi somebody else. And, you know, that fear and I'm like,

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well, how is this gonna happen? Because our mind just can't fathom

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it. So I feel that's where I'm at today. So I'm also

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a mother of 5 children, and I just became a grandmother

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a few weeks ago. Congratulations. Thank you.

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And so yeah. So that's a little bit about my journey

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and where I'm kind of at. What does

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reconciliation mean to you? Well,

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and I I kind of thought about that for quite a bit

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because it it's actually the lord godfather, our

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father who actually started the reconciliation process and

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when he sent his son to die for us. So in

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my mindset before I used to think that the Lord,

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sent his son so that he could love us again, but that's not the

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case, That he actually sent his son because he

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loved us, not to make him love us.

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And so there's a lot of a lot in religion, it it

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teaches you that that we have to work for his

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love. And that's it just comes out in that story of the prodigal

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son. Like, we call it the the prodigal son, but I think I'd rather call

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it the sons, the elder and the prodigal. And so I was

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kind of like that elder son, who had everything that

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the father had. He was living in his household and,

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he was the oldest son, and he had, double portion

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of the inheritance, but he didn't see that. And, so

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he was working, and why why, you know, you you see this whole

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conversation with the elder son and, and the

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father when they're talking about the prodigal son. Like, you didn't

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kill the fatted calf for me. And he and the lord

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said, everything that I have is yours. Yes. And he could have just killed

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the calf whenever he wanted. Yeah. And so

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recon reconciliation, I think, is just

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understanding that Jesus died on the cross for us.

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Rose was buried and rose again so that

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we could that he could reveal the father to us.

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And I think that's where we're kind of at. I

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think we kind of got into so much religion, and

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I was caught in that for many, many years. And I tried to pop my

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head out of, you know, that religion kind of world.

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And then my, you know, was put right back in because I just didn't

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understand why Jesus came. And yes, it was

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all out of love. So reconciliation to me

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is reconciling to God the father

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and learning to have that

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image to to take on his image in how we live

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our lives and see ourselves. So it's all about the

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identity in him and what Jesus done for

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us. So Jesus is a prime example of

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what we on her here on earth should be where his kingdom is.

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The kingdom is is us, and we need to

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be reconstalk him so that God could be glorified. And he can

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be glorified. Yeah. It is by our

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love for each other that we will know that we are his

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disciples, Jesus said. Mhmm. And our

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unity is the method and message of

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our care. Yeah. Amen. Amen. And

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I just love that. And it's when we're in that wilderness, the Lord

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takes us through this process of just dealing

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with the issues that have really hindered our relationship with

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him. And and that's my story is that

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I didn't trust him as a father. I didn't

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know who he was. And the reason for it is because

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of my background. My dad abandoned our family

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and created a whole new family, and he he dictated

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And it it took me a long time to reconcile

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with my dad. And and it was

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upon as when he died, and through that process of taking care of

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him and honoring him as my father, and understanding

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that he had the same issue I had. And it it

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really had an impact on me when he passed away 3 years ago.

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And it's just to show this process of this working through

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that. And then there was that barrier of

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not trusting. And because I didn't trust my own dad that

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I had this trust issue with God, God, the father. Yeah.

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Yeah. And so that, you know, in society today, there's this this

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word that's been thrown around reconciliation. And

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sadly, it's just been thrown around everywhere. Right? So I I I feel that there

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is 2 different ways to look at it. It's reconciliation in a

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secular world Mhmm. And then reconciliation back to

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Christ. Right? So what are the two differences for you,

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and how can we bring those 2 together?

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Well, first of all, is we actually in order to have

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true reconciliation, we actually need to know and have a

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relationship with God the father and to be reconciled

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with him. It's not him that left. It's

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us through our sin. Yes. And and once you

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start having a relationship with god, the father, and you start having

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this identity in him, and I am a, my son or daughter,

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then, you know, through this relationship and this process

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of developing a relationship that's full of intimacy, you

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know, speaking to him, walking with him in daily life,

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then he transforms you into his image. And

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so, so you you start to see other people the

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way he sees them. So in the secular,

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you you have to earn respect. Yes.

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But in true reconciliation, you honor one

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another. Yes. And, and respect is part of

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that. And so you build together, you build together,

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you walk along each side and if somebody falls down, you lift them

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up. And so that that's what I think

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is happening. And right now there's such,

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racism and it's been ingrained because of

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the history of our of our nation. Right?

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So our people have been so marginalized, so made to feel

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little. I think we have to have a reformation in

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our in the way our churches are. And I'm not

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talking just the building. I'm talking about reformation of each of

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us individually that we be reconciled truly,

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and not be afraid to just jump in daddy's lap and allow

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him to heal you in every way and make you whole so that you could

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actually walk in fullness and with peace and

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joy in the holy ghost and have that relationship and

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walk along side with him and co laboring

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with him. Yeah. It's been reconciled back to Christ. But what what do we get

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when we when we're reconciled to him? We get joy. We get peace.

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Mhmm. We get we get love. We get healing. We find our

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identity. Yeah. You know, I think that's where I found my my true

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reconciliation when I was reconciled back to him. Mhmm. And then being reconciled

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back to him, I was able to reconcile with others. Mhmm. Because I found that

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peace and I found that love and I found that healing. Without that,

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I feel like that's where we're missing out. That's where we're missing the mark. You

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know? Because if we can't be reconciled back to Christ in his wholeness

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and and given all those things that he died for, he died for us. He

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died that we would we would be whole. He would he died that we would

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have peace. He died that we would we would know who we are, that we

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were sons and daughters of God. That's why he came and shed his blood, that

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we would be reconciled back to our identity, back to him. Mhmm.

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And without How can we honor each other

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if we can't even honor ourselves? Exactly. And it says

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all in words, it's it talking it talks about,

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like, love your neighbor as yourself. So we Or even

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greater. Or greater. Or even greater. Right. And so but it's it's

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part of loving yourself and accepting that the

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Lord made you the way you are. And yes, there's

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some issues because we're all brought up in environments that are

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not perfect with parents that, tried their best, but, you

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know, missed a mark in some areas, while others areas, they

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did really well. And I I really thank the Lord

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for my parents in those early years because they instilled in

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me to have a relationship with God.

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And when we're in church that were inside, we weren't

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outside playing with all the other children. And

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that even as children that we are to serve the Lord. Yeah. So you grew

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up in a in a primary Christian home Mhmm. Most of your life or all

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of your life? Right up until my mid teens. And then my my

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parents, separated and my dad went off to

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create an another family. And and and through that, through

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the abandonment, I I blamed the Lord.

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And and that was because I

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I just had this this religious mindset,

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that was taught that, you know, we don't have any

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power and authority that we are to beg for it. That we're,

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that the Lord is this big powerful God, that if you do anything

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wrong, he straps you and and pulls away from you until you

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smarten up. But I realize now

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that the lord has loved me, and

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and no amount of whatever I did is not gonna take his love for

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me. His love is so unconditional. It is. It's so unconditional.

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And I was talking to another, yeah, woman, the

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other day, and we were having a conversation. She had a similar story

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to mine. And being an elder

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son, you kind of think that you have to work for love. Mhmm.

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So we're both workaholics and, well, I'm no longer a workaholic.

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I'm learning to rest in him, and to co labor with him

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means that he's the one that guides me. He's he's

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ahead of me, and he's taking me along this journey. And when

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I'm in intimate relationship with him, he has this,

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it's just just a dynamic of that

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he has the authority, but he's given us that

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as well. Right? That power.

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I kinda digressed there. What was the question again? I don't

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remember. We went on a little rabbit

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trail. I know. It's fine looking rabbit trail. Yo. I love those kind of

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conversations too when we're we're able to just, you know, just talk about

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about everything else. Here at Care Impact and

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I think the the heart of Journey with Care is to

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connect and equip the whole church to effectively journey in

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community with children and families in hard places. From your experience,

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what would it look like for the church to journey with care with others?

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Well, I really believe that we all have to be reconciled

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with with God through the work of the cross, through

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the work of Jesus. Like he was sent to die for us,

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to be buried, and then to be resurrected,

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and he sent the holy spirit. So if we

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could just get to that point, and it's for everybody, it's for

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children, it's for parents, and it's for,

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you know, elders, it's for everybody. And you could start from

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wherever you're at. Once you get to that point is

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once you understand that he he has unconditional love for you

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and that we could trust him to lead us and that he has

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so much for us. But he wants to us to live

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abundantly, but he also wants us to bear fruit. Yes.

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So we have to be fruitful. Well, what what does that mean? Well

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so I had to kinda do go through this assessment of, k.

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Am I living the gospel the way Jesus wanted us to

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live it? And I started thinking, okay, did do

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I pray for people? And are they healed?

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Are they delivered? Do I walk with signs and wonders?

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And I like, my mouth dropped and I'm, you know, and it just

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humbled me. And, I said, well, how do you get that?

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Well, it's all about relationship with God. And

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that to be truly intimate with him is that you talk to him, you

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you spend time with him and he talks to you and you listen to him

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and he'll teach you and talk to you in

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many different ways. And once you get to know his

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voice, then that's all that matters

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because then I'm not striving anymore. It's him

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leading me. Yes. Yeah. Your trust is in him. And my trust is in

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him, and my identity is in him. So I I just

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go back to the story of when I was turning 40

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and my husband said announced a few weeks before, I

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wanna give you a party. I'm like, no.

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I was screaming. You know, I literally got so angry with him for

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even suggesting to have a birthday party for me.

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And it was through talking to him later and he was saying, why are you

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so upset? And he's, and, and it all came down to this. I

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was so afraid of being rejected. Like, if he invites

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somebody and they don't come. And he said, whoever is

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meant to be there will be there, and, you don't worry about the

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rest. So it's about trying to have

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that identity in him. It just gives you so much

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freedom because what really matters is what he thinks about me. And

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I know he loves me. He adores me. Yes. He his

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face shined upon me. He gives me favor. Like,

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that's all that matters. And and yes, people are gonna be cruel.

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Why? Because they don't have that same relationship,

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and they just need to have that process, to go through

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that process to become an his image and the same thing,

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you know, have that relationship with him so that they're not

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having these insecurities in their life. What are some

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pieces of hope you can share with our listeners that

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reconciliation is happening? Well,

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I see that there's this transformation happening. I think we're

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starting to tear up and kinda recognizing

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religion when we see it. The celebritism,

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the focus on making names for ourselves,

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and that that's being torn down because it's not

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working anymore. Yeah. It's not working. No, it's not working. We

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have to come to that place where the Lord will get us to

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that place where we have the same kind of love that he

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has for our people. And now we can look at a person and

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love them so much And that the Lord will say, go and do

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this and say this or or do this thing and

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then pray with them and you say this, or you could be in the service

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and you have this discernment. And then you, you just go and

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pick up somebody from the crowd, bring him to the altar. And then you

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find out later that they were being a little scared to

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go up. And so that's that fear of

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intimacy. I think we as a church, and I think it's all

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comes down to that it is happening. People are there

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is a remnant of people that are just so hungry for the Lord

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that we understand and coming to the knowledge that what we've

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been trying to do isn't working anymore. And the whole

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focus, our focus should be on relationship with

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God and let him guide us and prepare us so that he

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we're more than worthy to go and do his work that but

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we have to be sent. Yes. There are so many people that are

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just out there just sending themselves, and then you see it

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all over Facebook. You you see it in conversations.

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Oh, I'm out the I'm going to this place, but I need money.

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You know, if you are in a relationship with God,

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then he sends you, he will bring a provision and he will provide for you.

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Yes. What's his vision? He'll he'll provide he'll provide for it.

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Right? So I guess our conversation is taking this

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kind of, like, reconciliation kind of tone to it. Mhmm. And so

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I guess the question that I do have is, do you see reconciliation

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amongst the churches? Like, so say, there's a big population of

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indigenous churches Mhmm. In Manitoba, in Saskatchewan,

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in Alberta. There's a big population of indigenous churches. I I don't

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know, about the relationship with the main, I

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guess, the bigger churches, the capital c church,

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the white churches, I guess you would say. Where do you feel

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that reconciliation is missing? How can we

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bring reconciliation to the body of Christ

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within the church Mhmm. In the context of non indigenous and

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indigenous? Okay. Well, I think we've kind of been

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segregated. And I remember going to

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a well known church, way back in

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probably in the early 2000, going to this huge

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church and walking in the doors and a a person coming up to

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me and my family, my husband, and my children, and

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saying in in all, greeting us. But then saying, you know,

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there's, aboriginal churches elsewhere.

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And I was, a bit offended. And, I

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said, well, it's just isn't this a church of God? Maybe hurt. It Yeah.

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Because, like, hurt. I think offense offense comes from a a place of hurt.

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It's a rejection. Right? Yeah. So and I'm thinking, no.

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We came to this church, and so we went and sat down.

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But I've also attended our affiliate conference,

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annual conference that they had a few years ago, and

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they they did this presentation, and we're one of the

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recognized Aboriginal churches under this affiliated

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body. And they wanted to have a meeting with,

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Aboriginal representatives that were attending, but

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it just almost came down to this, that they want us

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to to talk about, okay, what do you wanna see doing?

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But there wasn't a reconciliation attitude at that time.

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It it wasn't true. It says, no. Let's

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us try, and we'll bring people together and let them talk and let

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us hear them, but there's no real action. And and

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that's the same thing that is happening.

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But I think it's time for our Aboriginal people. And I remember

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being so frustrated and kind of disgusted with this whole thing. And then when

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you went to the conference, it was about missions and and

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there was nothing about Aboriginal people, and yet they had an

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umbrella of Aboriginal ministries. So there's a

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big disconnect between the churches. And so we're often

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seen as people that need help. Mhmm. But

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yet we are a people that are resilient and strong. I think

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there's a move now that the Lord is pulling these people,

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pulling us out with the voice and knowing who we are

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in him that are gonna, you know, kinda shake things

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up and say, you know what? We're gonna need to come together hand

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in hand. You need us and we need you. Yes. And it's an

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equal partnership. Right? Equal partnership. It's not you coming over

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me and telling me what it is to be a Christian Mhmm. Or what it

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is to be in ministry or what it is to be a missionary. Mhmm.

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It's taking, the strengths that I have as an

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indigenous Christian leader and taking your

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strengths and bringing them together. Yeah. Exactly. Wendi

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god called me out into this form of ministry, there was a lot of things

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that I had to learn from coming from what we're used to at our

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indigenous kind of church and whatnot. I had to learn, you know,

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what it is to be a missionary, what it is to

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what this vision is from this group of people, You know, what it is

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to do ministry. And sometimes, you know, I've come against this thing where it's like

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it feels like the mission or the vision

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or, the ministry isn't aligning with each other. Mhmm. But

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really, it is because it's the work of the kingdom. Mhmm. You know? So we're

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doing the work of the kingdom. We're not doing the work of our own

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organizations, our own ministries, our own name. Yeah. You know? We're

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doing the work of the kingdom. Mhmm. We're we're going out there and

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we're reaching the lost. And, you know, we're we're bringing what we

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know to be true as indigenous people is, you know, we know that

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brokenness. We know that hurt. We know that shame. We know we know what

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it is to be broken, and we know what it is to be found. Mhmm.

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And I feel like, when residential schools happen, that was the purpose

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of it was to kill our identity, to kill who we were and to

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rob us of something, to rob us of of that. Mhmm. But god

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is faithful. He is faithful and he is just, and he's

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building up this remnant of strong indigenous leaders.

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Mhmm. And he's bringing them around the table, but not around the table

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for, you know, the other churches or the other denominations to

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have pity on Mhmm. But to bring them into unity

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because for years, there's been indigenous churches

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around Manitoba, Alberta, you know, and so on, and Canada.

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You know, I was I was sitting around a, table the a couple weeks ago,

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and, you know, my my in laws, Willard Gabosh, has

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been a pastor, and he started one of the first indigenous churches in

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Winnipeg Mhmm. Over 30 years ago. And I was part of his church. And you

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were part of his church. And there's so many of us indigenous people that have

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come out of that church. And I sat around this table of women that

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love the lord, truly love the lord. They've been serving the lord. They've been raised

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in church, and they had no clue who this person was that I was talking

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about. Mhmm. And you see the separation from, you know,

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the indigenous population to the capital

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c churches. Mhmm. And and I asked the Lord. I'm like, okay. Well, there has

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to be a reconciliation among us first Mhmm. Before we can

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go out there and ask people to reconcile back to Christ or back to

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us or whatnot. Right? We have to, as the body of Christ,

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be reconciled back to each other first. That will be the the

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example. The example of true reconciliation is when the body of

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Christ can be reconciled back to each other. But first, we have to

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be reconciled back to Christ. Exactly. And I I think that's

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where my passion is now that I've gone went through this whole

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journey of this finding out and just throwing out all of

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the religious stuff that kind of were intertwined.

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And so now I pop my head out and I'm not going back

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down. I'm not letting anyone push me down. You're not going you're not going

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back into the corner. Right? No. I'm not. Maybe in the corner.

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No. No more. And and and that's what's exciting.

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So I I think we're just we're at the

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cusp of a great harvest. Yes. And, and

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because that there's gonna be a recon well, there it is.

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There's a reconciliation happening amongst the body of Christ.

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Yes. And we are much as part of it and an

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important component of it, but we're we're gonna be like 1.

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And so there's this mobilization. I I see this mobilization

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of people coming to,

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back to a relationship with God, never mind a religion.

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Relationship, relationship, and relationship with God, knowing

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who he is, how he he does things, and and

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just seeing him in everything. Cool

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laboring with him means that he he's the

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one doing the sailing. We're just coming alongside him and

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He's guiding us. He's directing us. Right? Yeah. Where are his hands?

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And, and doing the work, and he he gets all the glory for

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it. So we're being mobilized. So, basically, we're coming. We're

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coming together. And I, and, and now we're just getting into

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this mobilization and, and I think it's just gonna speed up as,

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as more and more indigenous people start finding their voice. Yes.

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Yes. You know, I feel like, you know, the enemy came to try to steal,

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kill, and destroy our voice. Mhmm. You know, but I feel like there

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is, you know, a group that are so connected to God,

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that love him. Mhmm. That, trust in him, that built that

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relationship, that are gonna be the forerunners of what

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real reconciliation is gonna look like. Mhmm. You know, because like we

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shared in the beginning, there's 2 different kind of views of reconciliation in this world.

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Right? Mhmm. But first and foremost, you know, as Christians, as

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believers, and we have to be first reconciled back to Christ. And that's why he

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sent his son to die on the cross, that we would be reconciled back to

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him. Yeah. And, and Jesus, his whole life is a

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template for us and to, you know, get out into the

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streets, the highways and byways, having dinner with the

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publicans. Yeah. And and getting into

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those spheres of influence wherever we are. And it's not just in the

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4 walls. It's about, marketplace ministry. Wherever the

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Lord puts you, then you start having an influence

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on policy, on even in the an

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environment and, you know, setting the stage for

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healthy workplaces. Healthy healthy workplaces, healthy

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collaboration. Mhmm. How would the indigenous

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population of church, of the body of Christ, and then the capital

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c, or the white, or how would we suggest

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that we could come alongside each other and co

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labor together with Christ in a way

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of unity and equal ship? Well,

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I think it comes to the point where as we

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had identify that we have strengths in

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Christ, right? We, we have that power and authority that is given

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us, and we are to be bold

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and courageous. And so we have to kick

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that old pattern of rejection and this,

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okay, we're rejected. Never mind. Mhmm. And start,

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pushing forward and being fearless And use our voices. And using

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our voices and really call out,

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the racism for what it is. Because there is racism

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in the body of Christ. Yes. It's pretty surreal. It it's There

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is. Yeah. But that's gonna change because God is in control.

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Amen. Amen. Yep. I get excited about this. Speak

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that. That's gonna change because God is in control. In what way would you

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coach someone indigenous or non indigenous in your

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context that is interested in reconciliation, but does

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not know how or where to begin? Well, I

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think we had another church that we kinda

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the Lord kinda put us in together, but

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it kinda went on the wayside. But I think it is

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it's developing a relationship with each other. And

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relationship means that you, you sit down, you, you have

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supper with them. You start having a dialogue that's open and

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honest and be in a safe place to

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say what you need to say without being offended. Because I think that's where it

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needs to be. And, we gotta be people that are unfundable

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when we're going after reconciliation. And to be those

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people, I feel like we need to be people that are healed. Mhmm. You know,

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that have gone through the healing, and the healing is a process.

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It doesn't happen overnight. No. It doesn't. You know, it's sometimes very

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dirty work, you know, to be healed. Right? Like, because we have to dig and

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we have to go into those places and things have to be rooted up. Yeah.

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Well and it says it says in the words, that we are to be

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wise as serpent and harmless with doves. Yes. But it's

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also when I talk about being unoffendable, we ourselves

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can't go into meetings to offend. Mhmm.

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So we have to do it out of love. We have to honor that person.

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They may not have it all together or or may they just

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don't understand how to even connect with us and to understand

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that we may have triggers, but it's the same thing with

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them. And we also whatever they're going

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through, love will cover a multitude of all sins. Yes. So

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that, so even if they say things

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wrong, we we, out of love, could correct them, but they can't get

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offended either. So it's both ways. And I think that's

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the coming around the table with this mindset of

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we both deserve to be here. We all deserve to be here. Yeah. We're

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not just asking you to the table. You have a seat at the table. Mhmm.

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You know, I was having a conversation with with someone a couple weeks ago,

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and that was one of the things that I think I fear with this whole

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reconciliation thing is, you know, as, men and

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women of God, as the body of Christ, we're directed to show love. Mhmm. We're

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directed to and that's our hearts. Right? We carry the heart of the

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father. Mhmm. So in all things, we we show love. We show

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kindness. We show, you know, respect and humility. Right?

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And so when we're having these hard conversations and we're talking

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about healing and we're talking about rejection and we're talking about these things that

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were put in place to harm us and to kill us and to hurt

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us. When we're talking about these things, I think the people that are

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inviting us in to give us, you know, to give us that space

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also need to be respected and, you know, be

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honored because they're they are opening up. Right? They are opening up their

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their space and inviting us in. So one of those things that I'm I'm worried

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I was worried about was people to go in in that angry state

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still. Or in in that trauma state still and be like, it

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is my time now. It is my time to say what I you know? And

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you have to listen and You have to listen. You know? And and And just

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go on this whole rant. Yes. Yeah. Because, you know, I I work as a

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missionary in in the inner city, and I have

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met some awesome, awesome people that

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serve the kingdom of God and love people. And their

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heart is to see reconciliation and their heart is to see indigenous

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leaders rise up. But sometimes, there are

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other people that don't carry that heart. Right? Like, there's just

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there's all different categories of people and all different places of healing, all different

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places of the journey that they're on. And I just don't want

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us to keep hurting one another. Mhmm. You

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know? To keep hurting one one another in the lack of knowledge or the

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lack of identity or the lack of reconciliation, true

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reconciliation to the father. And so that's one of my hopes is

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that, you know, when these doors start to open up and these conversations

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start to happen, and one of my hopes with Journey with Care is

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to give dialogue, you know, to these conversations and to

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give a space where we can have them and, have

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true honest conversations. And to have true honest conversations are not

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gonna be easy. Right? No. So but if we all come in with

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this humility and the love of God, those offenses,

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you know, won't stand a chance to what God really wants to do. Mhmm.

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Yeah. And we have to tear those walls down of offenses.

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And when there's an an offensive spirit,

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it really prevents people from actually

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hearing from God. So we need to tear those the walls down of

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offense and forgive, and we just have to forgive. And

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then from there, through the love of God, start working

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together. How would you say that we can start doing

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that, tearing those walls down? How would we do that? Well, we need to be

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delivered. We need to be delivered, set free, and

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sanctified. Exactly. And so and

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be healed and be made whole. And, yes, it is a

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process, but as painful as it is, sometimes

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you just have to get down to the roots and pull those roots out.

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And that's where the true freedom is. And there's just such

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joy in being free of all those

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roots and, insecurity of

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always seeing rejection everywhere. There's it's a such

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freedom in this it's actually less stress free.

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What would it look like to journey with care in this context, in your

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context? Well well, when we are

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made whole, we we naturally tend to wanna care for others.

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And so if we see an injustice, then we'll step forward and

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and do something about it and be that voice, be that advocate.

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And right now, we just have to get an alignment with God and

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his will Yes. For our lives. And he's all, he's given

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us a vision. He's given each one of us a destiny and he has a

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work for each one of us. We have to align with him first.

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And it, it all comes down to that. And you know, every, every story

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is gonna be different, but that's the beauty of it. Yes. That's the

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beauty of it. Yeah. What is one thing you wish non

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indigenous Christians would understand about your

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story? I think I think

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people have to understand that if when they see an angry person and

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then there's another person that comes in angry, then just

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understand that they were been triggered. There's a trigger there,

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and it all comes down to and for me as a indigenous

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woman, colonization kind of

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really took the role of the woman away. There was an

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important role of indigenous women too.

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They were the people that made the decisions, and they

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were just as much part of the leadership, and they were

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honored and for their voice. So this is

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just a natural progression of the Lord kind of

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putting us back into that because he, he loved us.

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Yeah. Speaking about being triggered, you know, when I first,

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joined the missionary field about 3 years

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ago, I was called into a position to be a community

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minister. And I came in broken. I came in, you know, in with

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places that, you know, god still wanted to root up and to heal. And

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so, you know, these people surrounded me and loved me and cared for me and

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and wanted to encourage me and build me up to be what god has has

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wanted me to be. But there was there was there was these times where

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I would get triggered and, things would would happen.

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And and, you know, this one time I remember one of my

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superiors over me had messaged me and was like, Melvina,

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maybe you shouldn't be, you know, having 1 on ones in your car.

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This and this and that. And and this person saw it on my Facebook. Right?

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So I I immediately, messaged back and was like, I

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don't appreciate my Facebook being used to reprimand me. You know,

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my personal Facebook used to reprimand me. And he replied back to

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me. He said, I'm not trying to reprimand you. I'm trying to care for

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you and make sure that we're able to continue doing

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ministry, you know, the way that God is asking us to do ministry so you

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don't get in trouble. Basically, he was trying to care for me that I don't

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get in trouble. Mhmm. And I didn't see it that way. And I had

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to stop and I and, you know, I immediately just I I was triggered. And

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then so I just reacted in that offense. And I had to ask the

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Lord, like, okay. Well, why did I get offended like that? Why did that come

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out of me like that? And then so he took me on a journey

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where, when I was younger, everything I did was wrong.

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Mhmm. You know? Well, and and that's what's with

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the residential school, it's all come down to

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we were never trained. Yes. And our the residential school

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survivors were never trained. They were hit. They were screamed

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at. They were and so until they got it right. Mhmm. So

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it just passed on. And so I think with

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re, conciliation, I think there's gonna be a lot of training.

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A lot of training. Yes. But also a lot of, and I I really,

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really respect where I was at that time and the leadership that I was

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under was that they were able to see that, and they were

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able to come alongside me. That even though I lashed out

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Mhmm. They were able to show me grace because that's what

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God is. God is grace. Well, yeah. And unconditional

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love. Unconditional love. Yeah. People were sent to

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to you in that time to To teach me. Yeah. And to help me through

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that process of, like, figuring out what those triggers are and what are those

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roots. Right? And so I I truly believe that

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the church, the body of Christ have such power.

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We hold such influence to come alongside each other with that

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same grace that God has shown us and to extend that

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Mhmm. To extend that to others and walk alongside them in that healing.

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Because reconciliation isn't gonna be easy. No. It's not. And,

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but it's it's vital. And, there's just no way

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around it. Yeah. There's no way around it. You know?

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Yeah. I really appreciated, the leader that

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was over me that time and and really got me to search my heart.

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And it's training our minds. Right? Because our minds were programmed to

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think a certain way, especially when when we deal with rejection or abandonment.

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Mhmm. Our minds see things negatively. They see you

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know, I used to see the the cup, you know, the glass that's sitting in

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front of you as half empty. Mhmm. You know, that's how I used to see

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it. Now I see it as it's half full. You know, you got a lot

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of water there. Yeah. And I I just remember, I will just share this

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one story about my journey. One of my little journeys, I worked

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for this particular lady, her name is Tracy,

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for about all my nursing career. And I remember the first time I

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met her, she hugged me, and

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I never got hugged before. Like and you're like, why are you touching me? Why

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are you touching me? Like, I was stiff as a board and she just laughed

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it off, you know, every time I saw her. And then, so we would attend

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these meetings and that was a a young nurse, just starting out my

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career and she was our my tribal nursing officer.

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And we would go to meetings. So we'd have to come all into meetings with

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all these other nurses from other communities in our area and,

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come into the city of Winnipeg and meet together. And

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I would try and figure out ways to get away from her, but she

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would come find me. And it was just like You'd avoid

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her avoid her and try to go this way. Oh, yeah. Or leave a little

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early, but she'll find me in the bathroom. She'll come chasing me down the

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hall. And I thought, you know what? And I I told her. I said, you

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know, you wore me down. And so

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if you everybody knows me now, I like tugging. I I just hug people.

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But you see, that's the kind of love is she knew that I needed

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that. And she's just a loving person, so and yet

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she's not a child of God, but the Lord still used her. So

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now I'm I'm probably gonna be that person running up. Like, people try

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and run out the door and I'll say, come here. Come here. Like, you know,

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with my hands. Give me because we all need love. Yeah. We all need we

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all need that affection. And I think that's what we all are, you know, we

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all desire. We all striving for is that is that love and

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acceptance and, you know, that we're, you know, we're not just here on

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Earth, but there's a purpose and there's a, you know, there's someone out there that

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wants to hug us and chase us down. Yeah. Exactly. And,

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and I I just love it. So, basically, just

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just love us the way the Lord would love us. And, whatever our

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reaction and whatever whenever we're triggered, just love us anyway. And that's what peep my

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message would be. Well well, thank you for that one. But

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what word of encouragement would you like to share with other

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indigenous listeners? Well, I

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believe,

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my words of encouragement is really get in

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relationship with God. Don't allow fear,

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because our, I guess, our current group, you know, with our past

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traumas and intergenerational trauma, it it made

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us fear God and, that he was this person

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that was gonna like, whatever we do, you you can go near

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him. But to be reconciled with him is

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he loves us. He wants whenever we're going through a rough

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time, just jump in his lap. Let him allow him to

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comfort you, sing to you, sing you a lullaby. Let him

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stroke your hair. Let him let him tell tell you that

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everything is gonna be okay because he's, you know, it that's

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just so comforting. But that's that intimate relationship

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that we're talking about. Get to know him the way

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Jesus knew him. And he he came to

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earth to reveal the father. And

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see, Jesus did whatever the, the Lord told him to,

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and he also had that character of God for the

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people. My encouragement is, you know, just jump

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in father's lap. Don't be afraid to just get in

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connection with him. And that's where everything will originate. If you

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do that, I will let everything else will fall into place for you.

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Me of in 2nd Corinthians, Paul tells the church that in our weakness, he's made

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strong. Mhmm. You know, and that just gives me reassurance that I can be

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weak, that I

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can, I can fail and I cannot have it all together? And I, you know,

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I'm a, I'm a work in progress. Right. Right. I'm, I'm, I'm striving

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for perfection. You know, it's to be more like Jesus every day when I

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wake up that even in my weakness and even in my mistakes, I can

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come to him as I am. And that's when his

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strength will be revealed. So like you said, you can just jump in his lap

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and just, you know, tell him everything because he knows us. Right? He

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knows that the hairs on our head. He knows the thoughts that we think

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before we think them. He knows our hurts. He knows the things that we hide

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from the rest of the world. Mhmm. He knows those things already, and

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he just wants us to trust him with them Yeah. And to go with him

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and just to sit on his lap and just to tell him, this is what

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I'm struggling with. This is what I'm battling with. This is the insecurity that I

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have. This is how I'm feeling. This is you know? And and once

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we do that in our weakness, when we're able to be weak

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to him and we're able to come to him in that weakness, that's when his

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strength will be. Exactly. And when his

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strengths is revealed, you just get, you just get up knowing, oh,

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hey. Jesus got my back. Yeah. He he has me. He has

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me. He's holding my hand. And when you know that man, you can walk in

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that boldness. You can walk in that calling, in that authority, in

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that god given right as sons and daughters.

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And and just go ahead and love those that hurt us, and then we could

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pray for them. And, you know, just pray that they would be

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come into that revelation of who he is and who they are in

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him and just know that they are loved too. Yeah. Yeah.

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So as, as a people of God, we, we have to work together

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and it got so lonely. And that's one of my,

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my, visions is to set up a network I've already talked

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about. Yes. And, putting that together and this

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learning to support one another. I think that's totally

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lost, you know, learning how to just come to that place where you

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could talk to somebody about the struggles and get encouragement,

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you know, and pray together and, and teach and, you

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know, just support one another. Those that are in the front lines. Yes.

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Well, I encourage you in that to, to work towards that.

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You shared that vision with me a while back, and I think that

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we need that as women. We need that as women in ministry. We

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need that that friendship and that sisterhood and and and being able to come

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alongside each other and support each other and encourage each other. Mhmm. You

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know, so I bless you in that. I know that once you put your hands

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to it, it's gonna prosper because that's the word of God. Amen. Amen.

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So I thank you, Melissa Spence. She is, the

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co pastor of Blessings Church on what's the address?

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621 College Avenue in Winnipeg. 621 College Avenue in

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Winnipeg. Her and her husband, Warren Spence, lead the church there.

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It's a beautiful church. I would suggest to stop by for, you

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know, some fellowship with them. They are very welcoming, loving

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people. They love the community, and they love their church and and the

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church family. I just wanna thank our listeners for listening to Journey

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with Care with Malvina Gabosh. Until the next time. Bye.

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Thanks for listening to the journey with care podcast where paths connect over real

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life stories and honest conversations. We hope you continue to

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join us on this journey of faith, reconciliation, and loving our

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neighbor. Be sure to like, follow, and share. Special thanks to

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host Melvina Gabosch, our podcast engineer, Johan Heinrichs,

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and donors who helped make this show possible. Journey with Care is an

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initiative of Care Impact, a Canadian charity dedicated to connecting

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and equipping the whole church across Canada to effectively journey

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in community with children and families in hard places. Learn how Care

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Impact is transforming the way churches engage with child welfare with our

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care portal technology and academy training. To support this

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podcast or to learn more about us, go to careimpact.ca or

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click the link in the show notes. We're so glad you are part of this

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journey with us as we journey with care even in the messy. Until

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next time.

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About the Podcast

Journey With Care
Equipping communities and the Church to love neighbours well
The conversations that inspire curious Canadians on their journey of faith and living life on purpose in community. Join us for thought-provoking conversations that inspire you to live a life of purpose and connect with like-minded individuals. Discover actionable insights, practical tools, and inspiring stories from leaders who are shaping the future of faith, business, and community. Together, let's disrupt the status quo and create a world where faith and entrepreneurship intersect. Become part of a community that is passionate about making a difference.
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