Episode 36

full
Published on:

4th Oct 2024

The Battery Life of a Newlywed: Supporting a Partner with Bipolar Disorder with Danika



Join us for Decadent Care, November 8-9 in Winnipeg, MB:

https://decadentcare.ca

Description

What happens when caregiving and personal growth converge in the life of a newlywed? Johan Heinrichs welcomes his daughter, Danika, who recounts her journey of balancing self-care and supporting her husband, Jaden, through his bipolar disorder.

She opens up about her challenges, from navigating her own ADHD diagnosis to experiencing burnout and learning the importance of a support network. As Danika reflects on her post-school life and their transformative move to a new apartment, she shares how closer ties to their church community improved their mental and emotional well-being.

This conversation highlights the balance between self-care, faith, and the supportive power of the community, providing valuable insights on managing personal and shared struggles with grace and resilience.

Time Stamps

[05:28] Love transcends mental health; initial surprise reciprocated.

[07:09] Navigating marriage with spouse's fluctuating mental health.

[11:03] January emotional challenges; hospitalized for bipolar diagnosis.

[15:50] Balancing self-care and communal support amid crises.

[17:22] Medication and diagnosis significantly aided his stability.

[20:35] Feeling confident, supported by family and community.

[23:42] Managing ADHD with self-care, journaling, and hobbies.

[28:58] Moving improved my outdoor experience and routine.

[31:58] Address suicidal ideation immediately; trust in God.

Guest Links

Choosing Kin Parts 1-3 (Danika's Adoption Story): https://player.captivate.fm/collection/dc99c0ff-5a67-433e-aeb1-3af68ed5ed9f

Differently Wired | Bipolar Disorder in Community (Jadon's Episode)

https://www.careimpact.ca/post/s03e21

Other Links

Reach out to us! https://journeywithcare.ca/podcast

Email: podcast@careimpact.ca

Listen To Journey With Prayer - A prayer journey corresponding to this episode: https://journeywithprayer.captivate.fm/listen

or get both podcasts on the same RSS feed! https://feeds.captivate.fm/n/careimpact-podcast

CareImpact: careimpact.ca

About the CarePortal: careimpact.ca/careportal

DONATE! Help connect and equip more churches across Canada to effectively journey well in community with children and families: careimpact.ca/donate

Editing and production by Johan Heinrichs: arkpodcasts.ca

Transcript
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Hey. Before we get into today's conversation, please note that this conversation

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contains mentions of suicide and suicidal ideation.

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If you or someone you know is struggling with thoughts of suicide, please reach

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out for help. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is available

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247. Just dial 988. Remember, you're not

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alone. Especially, like,

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with something like bipolar disorder, like, to talk to somebody and say, hey,

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my husband's in the psychiatric unit because he wanted to kill himself. That's a very

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heavy topic, and it's hard to bring that up to somebody

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because I want to make sure that they're okay and that, you know, what are

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their emotions like? Are they gonna be in that grieving and, like, anxiety moment

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too? It's this weird web of where you're you almost forget

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about yourself and the fact that you need care and you need to

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be supported and you need to look at, like, and ask yourself the same questions

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you would ask people around you. Like, how are you doing? What does

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loving your neighbor actually look like?

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This is Journey with Care, where curious Canadians get inspired

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to love others well through real life stories and honest conversations.

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This is Johan here. We are in our series, Battery Life of a

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Caregiver. We're exploring the lives of those who dedicate themselves to caregiving

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roles. We'll uncover what it takes, their self care strategies,

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and how our communities can provide much needed support around them.

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Today, I'm honored to have a returning guest and my daughter,

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Danica, to share a little bit about being a wife and support to someone

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living with bipolar disorder. But before we get into

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that conversation, remember that we have Journey with Prayer, 5 minute

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devotional to start off your week. That's on a separate feed. If you check the

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show notes, I got some links there for you to follow.

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And to continue to produce great content, we rely on the

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generosity of our listeners, donors, and sponsors of Care Impact.

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To help the podcast and the work of Care Impact in the community, we value

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your support. We'd love to connect with new sponsors and

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donors to the podcast. Just head over to the show notes again or careimpact.ca/podcast.

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So Danica, who previously shared her adoption story at the

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beginning of this season, season 3 episodes 1 to 3. You can

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go listen to that if you wanna hear a story. Danica is also the loving

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wife of Jaden who opened up about his bipolar disorder diagnosis on

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episode 21 of season 3 this season. That episode was called

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differently wired navigating bipolar disorder in community.

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Really good episode. I encourage you to check it out. Feel free to pause this

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episode and listen to that one. It might be a good way to, preview this

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episode, but here we are. Welcome to the podcast, Danica.

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Thank you for having me again. Looking forward to the conversation. I

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always love having conversations with you, whether it's on the podcast

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or in my living room. Alright, Danica. We're gonna get right into

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it. Let's go to the beginning, not the beginning of your life,

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but can you reminisce about the early days of your relationship with Jaden?

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What drew you to him? Yeah. So when I first came

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to Winnipeg, I was a part of a smaller church

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community. And so Jaiden was one of

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2 of the young adults there, and

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I just noticed that he just was a really joyful individual

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and super committed to Jesus. And I just really

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admired that. I think it kind of just went from there. It also

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helped that he lived, like, 10 houses down from where I was

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living. And so during, like, the COVID pandemic, we would

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start going for walks one summer, got to know each other a bit

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better, did an online bible study with some people from our

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church. And then it was when I started studying with him

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in the University of Manitoba engineering basement. During my

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1st year of university, it was we went for walks every single

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day for, like, 4 months. And during that

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time, it was still the his heart for Jesus and just

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the love that he had for him and just how faithful he's

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been in his walk with the Lord just really drew me to him, and he's

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he's super funny, kind of like a carefree individual. Yeah.

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He's one of the most joyful people you'll ever meet. Yeah. And we

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went through a little bit of that dating story in our episode 1 to 3

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there where you shared about the walks of the pandemic and the awkwardness

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of walking across the street and waving to the person you're dating,

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which is kind of odd. But did you suspect anything about Jaden's mental health,

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during that time of dating? Yeah. So because I

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knew him before we started dating, he had taken, like, a break

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from school, for, like, an entire semester

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and had kinda mentioned something how it was, like, for

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his mental health. And so our first date,

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we talked about his mental health, like, in great detail. And

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I got to kinda know more about, like, his depression and,

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like, that cycle where one moment he's, like, okay,

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and then suddenly everything sucks, and he is starting to have, like,

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suicidal thoughts regularly. But he didn't have a diagnosis at this point,

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right, while you were dating? No. He didn't have a diagnosis at all. It's like

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this mysterious thing that just started happening to him.

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So when you had those conversations about his mental health, do you feel like that

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was a red flag for you, or was that something that drew you to

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him and something that you felt like, you know what? This is part of who

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you are, and I'm I'm willing to deal with this. I think for

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me, just with my own mental health journey, and, you know,

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my biological dad has PTSD. That's pretty bad. And

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so I just didn't see it being, like, the core of who he

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is. It was definitely something that I did

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consider in, like, you know, walking with him and, like, learning how to support him

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during those times, but he was so much more than just his mental health.

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And, you know, when you start falling in love, it's like, there's gonna be good

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things about the person you marry, and there's gonna be things that are gonna be

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difficult to walk through. But, yeah, I didn't see it as a red flag. I

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just saw it as, oh, maybe the Lord's, like, bringing us together

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because of my background with mental health and just the way that I view it.

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Another important thing is, like, when we first started dating, like, I was surprised

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that he'd liked me back. I'd always had this, like, idea that I was too

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broken or just too much to be in a relationship.

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And just he loved me back so well. And, like, he loved the

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quirkiest weirdest parts of me, and it's just it was just a really

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refreshing experience. That's amazing. So you

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guys get married. Now let's talk about that time frame leading up to when

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Jaden actually got his diagnosis. How did that come about? How did

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he get that diagnosis, and how did you guys react to the

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news? How did you respond? Yeah. So I had a

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general idea of his, like, suicidal thoughts and, like,

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depressive, like, episodes. But when we got

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married, it was like two and a half weeks after the wedding. He came

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home and he was like, hey, I walked to the bridge

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and I almost jumped. And I was like, okay. Okay. This is fine.

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I remained calm, but once we were married, I

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really saw what they were actually like. Because like

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I was there in the middle of the night when he'd wake up and need

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to talk or having hours and hours of conversations.

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And so it was just an added, like, challenge in that 1st

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year, trying to learn to navigate to live with someone when

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they can be 1 like, they can be depressed one moment, super

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happy, or just all of a sudden, like, mellow

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kind of in between. And so for the first, like, year and a half of

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our marriage, it was like almost every single month. It was

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like a cycle that he would start to get, like, into a

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low as we called it, and then he wouldn't be sleeping well.

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And then he would get the suicidal ideation. And it just really

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varied on how severe that would be each time. And

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so a lot of it was encouraging him and pushing him towards,

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you know, going for therapy. Then we went on antidepressants

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because we just thought it was chronic depression. That's what, like, the doctor was

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saying, and we're just waiting until we found, like, the

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right supports to navigate it. But it was

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hard. I mean, when you're married and it's your 1st year,

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something that Jane and I have talked about, we didn't really get that honeymoon phase.

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We started with life and death situations and

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just really going into that, for better or for worse, in sickness and

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health, like, immediately. And so, eventually, he

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got on some antidepressants. And once they kicked in, nothing happened

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for, like, 7 months. And then all of a sudden after that 7

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months, he went back into a low. And so

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our doctor was like, oh, we'll just switch you onto a different kind

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of antidepressant. Sometimes they build up in your body and they don't work.

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And when he went on these ones, that's when he had his first,

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like, noticeable manic episode. And,

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personally, that was scarier than when he was lower because

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he wasn't sleeping at all. So what did that look like, a manic

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episode? I mean, he describes it a little bit in his episode, but

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from your perspective, like, how did you feel during this manic

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episodes, and what did it look like from your perspective? From my

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perspective, it looked like he was going insane. Also, he was just,

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like, mega genius all of a sudden. Like, the stuff he was talking about was

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insane, but he was just full of energy

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all the time. And that really soft,

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careful, considerate side of him just disappeared. And so

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it was really hard because I really wanted him to be happy and

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thriving and enjoying life. But now he was in a situation where I was asking

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him not to do that. And that was like the hardest thing to do. I

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did end up saying something very bluntly to him at

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one point, because he's like, don't you want me to be happy? I

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told him something along the lines. Like, the only one that's enjoying your

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happiness right now is you. And that was really

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hard to say. But once I said that, that's when, like,

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Jaden and I had alarm bells going off. And we talked to

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our family doctor, and that's when we first heard the words

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bipolar disorder. So where did it go from there? How did he get

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that official diagnosis? So he had to go off the

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antidepressants that he was trying because for those with bipolar

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disorder, they cause manic episodes. And then

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we got him on to one medication for

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bipolar, but our general practitioner, she can't prescribe

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anything higher. And so she had to refer him to a psychiatrist,

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and we just waited because you can't rush a referral to

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psychiatry. They're overworked, and there's such a demand, and there's not

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enough to meet that demand. And so that up and

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down was normal life at that point. So when you get the

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diagnosis, how did you guys react? What was your response? How do you feel? What

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were the emotions going on at that time? So that

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was January of this year, and a

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lot was going on for me emotionally already. The whole reason we got the

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diagnosis is I lost someone really important to me,

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and I just didn't have the emotional capacity to go through another

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low. And I noticed this, like, suicidal ideation was, like,

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super bad. I was exhausted, and I was like,

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if I keep him at home, I'm being selfish

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because I just don't wanna be away from him, but he needs

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help. And so we went to the

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crisis response center, was up most of that night, and

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they decided to send him to the

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psychiatry ward so that they could go through a formal

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diagnosis process because they were pretty convinced he had bipolar disorder at this point.

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And that way they could try different meds and try them at

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higher doses so they work faster. And you could also get that formal

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diagnosis in a week instead of waiting so many months for, like, a

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community psychiatrist. And so I remember, like, when they

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came to get him to bring him to the psych ward, they asked if

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I wanted to walk with him. And I just

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knew I couldn't walk with him and then be escorted out

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of the building. Like, it was a very I was, like, very I

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just felt so empty inside at that point. You know, my best friend, the

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person that, like, I feel the safest with wasn't

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by my side during a time that I was grieving someone that was

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super important to me. How did you get through that time?

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So I remember the first night, Jaden's brother picked me

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up from the crisis response center, and then I went to your guys' house.

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You and mom were not there yet. You were gonna be there,

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like, a little bit later. And so I remember Eli

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was home, and so it was just really special because he and I just watched

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a movie in the basement together, and it was just really nice to not be

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asked about it. And then I have a really good friend

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from my church who I was getting fairly close with her

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family and her kids. And when I updated her about what

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was going on, it was just so refreshing. Her first question

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was like, why didn't you guys tell me about Jaden's mental health sooner or, you

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know, asking all these questions? But she was like, you can come stay at our

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house anytime that you need. We will feed you. We're here for

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you. And, like, the whole week because I did

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go stay at their house overnight one night, and then

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I would get text during the days when I wasn't there, like, have you had

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lunch? Are you eating? Are you drinking? Did you sleep last night?

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And it was just so refreshing because unknown to me at

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that time, I have ADHD, and so eating regularly can

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be difficult on a good day. And I just felt like I was known

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by somebody and, like, like, their focus

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was completely on me and what I needed. And it

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was just so good because it made it easier to talk about what was going

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on with Jaden and how I was feeling, and they're just a

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really good rock during that time. Yeah. Because often in these

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crisis situations, you'll often get the question, how

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is Jaden doing? And it it doesn't often come

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where they'll ask how you're doing because it's very

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stressful for the caregivers in these crisis situations.

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It is. And I understand that because it's also very stressful for people that care

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about the individual because it's like, they wanna make sure they're

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okay. Like, Jaiden is such a core person in our

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community, and so many people love him. And it's

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also so scary to ask a caregiver how they're doing

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because it's like, what's your relationship like for them? Or we're

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not necessarily taught in society how to care for

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somebody when they're going through something like that to get

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support or, like, you know, is it okay to ask this question? But it's just

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we're not taught to ask about the caregiver first and then the person

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that's being cared for. Do you feel there's sometimes maybe feelings

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of guilt to to even bring up about how you're feeling when

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when you get questions like that? Like, is there is there a guilt thing there?

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Sometimes. Like, I wanted to be asked first.

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I wanted people to see me and to focus on me, but, of course, I'm

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riddled with guilt and shame because my

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husband's in this psychiatric unit at the hospital, and I'm able to be at

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home. Yes. It almost feels like, how can I be so

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selfish to think about my own care when my husband's in the hospital?

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Right? Yeah. Yeah. This is, like, one of the most emotional weeks I've

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had in my life. And I had to sit down and, like, make the hard

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decision, like, am I gonna continue with my degree? Because you were wondering if you

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had to quit school just to care for him a little bit more and and

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to be available. Right? Yeah. And I was so close to finishing my degree

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too, and I just really I really didn't wanna stop.

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And so a lot of it was asking people questions

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and needing to initiate sometimes

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when I needed help or I needed to talk something through, which is okay, but

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at the same time, that's added exhaustion because I'm also thinking, I

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don't wanna burden people with these hard emotions, these really hard

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conversations, and almost like wanting to care for others around you

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in your community as well, especially, like, with something like bipolar

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disorder. Like, to talk to somebody and say, hey. My husband's in the

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psychiatric unit because he wanted to kill himself. That's a very heavy topic,

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and it's hard to bring that up to somebody because I

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want to make sure that they're okay and that you know, what are their emotions

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like? Are they gonna be in that grieving and, like, anxiety moment too?

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It's this weird web of where you're you almost forget about

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yourself and the fact that you need care and you need to be

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supported, and you need to look at, like, and ask yourself the same questions you

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would ask people around you. Like, how are you doing? Are you grieving?

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Are you anxious? Are you scared? And spoiler alert, Danica. Of course,

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you got your degree. You worked so hard, especially through the

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challenges, and you persevered. It's amazing.

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But since the diagnosis, like, you guys had to learn how to deal with

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bipolar. So what kind of work have have you and Jaden,

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specifically you, like, what have you had to do to manage and learn about bipolar

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and how to implement those things into your guys' everyday lives?

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So in the beginning, when he did come home, he

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ended up reading a book on, like, bipolar

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disorder. And I haven't had the opportunity yet to read through it,

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but the first thing I did is I'd let him just talk in detail about

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what he was learning about himself. And it's

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there was just such a difference once he got on the medication and had a

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community psychiatrist. Like, he was himself

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and was, like, able to, like, manage his emotions and be more stable. Like, it

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was a night and day difference. And so I've just learned

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to ask him questions and to be a

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reminder that having a day that you feel sad isn't

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gonna spiral out of control anymore. And just getting to

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almost be similar to before, where just being that

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emotional support and that comfort and listening and talking with him,

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now it's we know what it is. We have a name for it,

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and just the relief that came with that on its own, like, was the

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biggest thing to learn. So now that he's on

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meds, it feels a little bit more stable. Right? So what

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does a manic episode look like now, and how do you navigate that? How would

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you respond when you're seeing a little bit of a manic episode

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arising? The really cool thing and, like, just such a

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testimony of the Lord, the first, like, they call it, like, a

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cocktail for medications when you're taking different medications

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together to get the best effect. The first group of

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medications they put him on, once he was out of the psychiatric

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unit, he hasn't had any mania.

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It's amazing. Like, I haven't seen him

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go into any, like, really depressive lows or into, like,

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really high highs. It's like his emotions don't go from

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one extreme to the other. They're just that natural, like, some days are

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a little bit more like blood. Other days are like, oh, this is really good.

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But he's just he's stable, and I see that confidence and

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that trust in his emotions now. And it's just it's so

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good. Now I remember you getting the diagnosis, and you're a little

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disappointed to find out that this isn't something that's just gonna go away and

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disappear. Like, this is something you gotta learn to live with. So how

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important has it been having a strong support network around both you

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and Jaden? And who are some of those key peoples that specifically

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you, that you depend on when you when you feel like you're having

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challenges as as a caregiver? I definitely lean,

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like, a lot on you and mom because

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Well, I hope we would be there for you. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Get up.

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I think it's really, like for those who have listened to, like, the 3rd

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episode of my adoption story, I remember, like, I

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was just kinda starting in January to lean on you guys more

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when something came up and being a little bit more vulnerable when I needed

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help. And then, like, this just really

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helped with that because it's like I was able to, like, text you guys

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anytime and be like, hey. Like, this isn't going great. And, like, my

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gecko got sick while Jaden was in the psychiatric ward.

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And so you drove me to a vet, which was so helpful

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because, like, my gecko is my emotional support, and he

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decided that was the best week to get sick. And so it's just like I

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feel like I'm way more confident now to come and, like, ask you guys questions

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or say like, hey. It's really, really hard right now, and we

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need this. And it's just I think it's really just brought that

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family relationship with you guys and also the siblings to just new

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levels. And then that family from church, like, this summer, when I

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was finishing my degree, it was, like, so busy. And

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I was over at their place for supper regularly, And that

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really helped because I'm not the biggest fan of cooking at

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all. And so I was able to, like, go, you

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know, eat a meal and just really get to be a part of

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normal life, and they just treated Jaiden normal too, and

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that really helps. Like, I really lean on them for,

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like, that support and, like, knowing that it's like, there's another, like, member of our

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community that we can go over anytime open door.

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And then also, like, Jaden having the opportunity to speak on the

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podcast, it's opened so many doors and so many conversations

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where people's like they've I feel like they feel more, like, confident to be able

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to ask them questions. That seems so important. Right? Yeah.

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Like, even being able to tell our stories and being honest with our mental

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health, it really does open those doors to more conversations

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and being able to care for one another as communities,

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being better supports to the caregivers as well as those needing

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care. It's it's amazing what just having a conversation

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could do for that. Yeah. And I think, like, the biggest thing now that, like,

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he's, like, he's in that, like, stability, his medications are working

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really well, everything. It's like, the best thing caregivers can do right now

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is just treat us like normal because this is our normal.

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And, yeah, it's gonna impact him for the rest of his life,

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and there could be times that his medication needs to be changed up. But, like,

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he has a community psychiatrist now, and he's able to talk to them. And,

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you know, many, many people with bipolar disorder go on to live very

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normal lives. And so being treated normal and

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just that love and that knowing

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that when something if it does happen, that, you know, we still have

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that network and that support to fall on, and that I'm

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not forgotten in that. That's a very important thing

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now is that, yes, we are 1. And, yes,

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Jaden is the one that is very much impacted

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by his mental health because it's it's his body, it's his brain.

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But at the same time, I'm very much impacted by it as

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well because he's, like, my best friend, my, like, super safe

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person. Like like, I couldn't imagine life without him anymore.

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And so the biggest thing I think for caregivers is that

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I'd wanna say is, like, don't forget about us. Now you you've obviously had a

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challenging year. Let's talk about self care a little bit. We know

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that there there have been good people in those challenging times that

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have stepped in. But what about your own self care? How do you recognize

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when things are starting to feel overwhelming? What kind of routines do you

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implement into your daily life to to make you feel grounded, especially after

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having such a challenging year? So I

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think because of how challenging a year it's

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been, I was trying to implement like, journaling is a huge thing for

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me. Like, just sitting down, journaling, and talking to the Lord is,

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like, just something I do on the I try to do on the regular,

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but implementing self care while doing school was really

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difficult. And I started to notice that I was, like, leaning on Instagram

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a lot more, and there was moments that I wanted to do something

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better, but I just couldn't move. And so I think the biggest thing for self

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care I ended up doing was I

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went on a hunch that I might have, like, ADHD

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and ended up going for an assessment and found

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out I do have it, which also was, like, life changing for me.

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But now it's like I'm learning about my brain. That's the biggest thing I do

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for self care is I I do a lot of really good,

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like, affirmations and will like, in moments that I feel frozen and,

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like, I'm gonna be stuck and can't be in a routine because it's really difficult

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to get into one for me. I have a lot more grace and kindness and

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compassion towards myself, and so I'm finding that my current,

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like, self care is a good, like, cup of coffee, hanging out with my

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cat, and, like, either, like, doing some one of my many hobbies

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or, like, reading a good book is what I'm leaning towards. Or

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if my brain is just, like, seriously, like, there's just so much going on up

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there. I'll just go watch, like, a documentary or, like, a start

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working through a documentary series and just kinda give my brain that

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break. It feels like a key self care thing to do

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is to learn a little bit more about yourself and

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how you tick. And that's why we did series on differently wired and flavors

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of the care. We did, like, an 8 episode series, and it's all about learning

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what makes us tick. And it's important to learn those those things about ourselves so

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that we know how to care for ourselves better, especially when you're caring for others

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because you're not gonna be a good caregiver to Jaden if you're not caring

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for yourself. So what are some of those early signs that you look for that

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indicate you might be nearing burnout or or you might need to

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do something for yourself for self care? So one of

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my biggest early signs is, scrolling on Instagram

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for 2 hours or more and not even realizing that time's passed.

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And then another big indicator for me is when I'm falling back into old

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thought patterns and letting it happen.

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Like, almost like digging myself a hole of self pity is what I call

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it. That's when I start noticing that, like, k, I'm starting to get burnt

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out. I'm not okay. And another big indicator

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is I stop having compassion

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towards Jaden for certain things, or I'm like, I

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just don't have the energy or the emotional capacity for this right now. Those

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are my 2 biggest red flags. I'm like, k. I need to step back and

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take a deep breath and lean on my support network. And I've really

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learned to trust that I'm not the only one that gets to be a caregiver

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to Jaden. I'm not the only one that gets to be in his life and

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support him. And that at times, when I need to take a step back

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and focus on myself, one, it's not selfish. I

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know there's people that he can talk to when he needs to if I'm not

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available to do that. And sometimes it looks like a spa day with

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a good book in hand as well. Yes. Yeah.

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There's lots and lots of reading. I think right now, like, I just

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finished my degree and have realized that school was a big stressor

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in my life and was really making it hard to do anything. And

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so I'm kind of in a season now where I'm discovering

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more of who I am and how I've been made and the things that I

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do. And the coolest thing to see is Jaiden is at

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this point of stability where I don't know. It's just it's such a sweet

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spot. It is such a sweet pocket for us right now in our marriage and

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just in that friendship and that being developed. And the

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more I reflect on the last year and just where I am now and just

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the support network I have, I just I know I'm just feeling super thankful, and

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I think that's been the best thing on my mental health. It's just getting to

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reflect to my community and just so thankful for the community we

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are in and that there are so many people that went past that

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awkwardness and did ask me about myself. And it almost feels like you're

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just catching up with self care now after after being done school

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and the and the year that you've had. So Definitely like playing some catch

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up. I've definitely noticed a big difference in myself, which I really like. And I

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feel like I have a lot more capacity for people and being a part of

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my support network. And so And you guys made a few different life changes

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as well. Like you said, you got a cat and you guys actually moved from

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a dark apartment with cement walls to a nice

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older structure with more sunlight, different part of

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town. So a few changes like that. Wanna talk about a few of those

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changes that you've made since the diagnosis that you feel, like, might have

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helped your mental health as well as Jaden's? Yeah. So we were in a

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very dark apartment before, and so we ended up moving

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closer to our church community. So now we're, like,

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really, like, plugging in. That is amazing. That's been so good for me. It's like,

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it's a 7 minute drive instead of a half hour drive. So I feel like

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I'm really starting to invest more in, like, friendships that I was wanting

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to. And, also, where we used to live, getting to a

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place to walk was really hard because we lived, like, right off

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of, like, a highway. And that was, like, a huge barrier for me to go

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for a walk or even go outside. And so now I just walk

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outside our apartment, and I'm in a neighborhood with trees, and it's

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quiet. And I love squirrels and stuff. So, like,

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there's a lot of them here, and I get to just enjoy looking at them.

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And one of my favorite coffee shops is, like, a 7 minute walk away. So

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if I wanna just go journal there or do something fun, I can. So I

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just I feel like yeah. Just that moving was so good for me

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personally and feel so homey here with my plants

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and just the colors that are around me. So And like you said, you

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guys really didn't get much of a honeymoon phase. So does it feel like

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you're kind of starting to step into that where you get to know each other,

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beyond having a bipolar diagnosis and being in

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school? Yeah. I really feel like we're stepping into that where we're just really

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getting to know each other. And we just went on, like, a big, like, dream

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vacation. Like, I got to go to Greece this summer, which is just so fun.

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And we had so much fun on that trip. And so it just feels like

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such a sweet pocket of getting to know one another, but really just also celebrate

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how close we are now since the diagnosis. And now it's

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like, that's not the center of our lives anymore. It's something

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that we're aware of. It's something that it's managed and we'll continue to

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need to manage, but we're both walking hand in hand on

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this journey to understand ourselves more and how we tick and having that compassion

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for one another. And sometimes that looks like weird

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routines, And other times, it looks like

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really deep conversations to get to know one another, and it's been really good.

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And you also talked about how being closer to church was helpful.

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What role does faith in your church community play in helping you maintain that mental

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and emotional well-being and and your guys' marriage together, your relationship?

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It's so central. Like, I have a couple friends

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who just got married this summer, and so it's just really fun getting

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to pour into those relationships. But I feel like faith has

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always been so important to me. And just yesterday at church,

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I was really reflecting on, like, that cry of desperation and, like, my,

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like, 16, 17 year old heart of, like, just wanting to be healed and wanting

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to not feel so broken and stuff. Being close to our church community has

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really just accelerated that healing, and I

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feel so accepted and welcomed there. And, like, people know who I am, and they

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celebrate me for who I am. And they celebrate Jaden for who he is. No

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one had a super negative response when he started talking about having bipolar

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disorder, and so it's our normal. And we get to be

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celebrated by those in our community and celebrate others. And I

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think, for me, serving in the church more is accessible, and it's really

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helping keep me accountable to reading my bible and praying and

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just walking closely with the Lord. And I think for both of us,

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that's been really good. Alright. We're coming to the end here. I

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know we can keep talking, and you're coming over tonight to do laundry, so I'm

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sure we'll talk some more. What message do you wanna leave with our listeners? Is

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there something that you want to say that we didn't get to chat about? The

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biggest thing I wanna say is suicidal

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ideation is real. And

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that even if it can be managed at home and

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with your community, when you're feeling weak or you

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don't know what would happen if you took somebody to a

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crisis response center or they need more

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help, like, at a psychiatric level, trust god that

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he's gonna be your strength, but don't wait as long as I

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did because it takes way too long to get a psychiatrist

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in the community, and regular suicidal ideation

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is not healthy. And sometimes the best thing you can do

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for someone you're caring about is the hardest thing to say to them.

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And I just really want to encourage people and remind

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them that you aren't the only one caring. Like, God is in the midst of

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it. He holds everything together. He's our strength. He's

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our provider, and that it's gonna be okay. So don't

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be afraid about sending somebody

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to the hospital on something that is their mental health because you

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never know what door it could open for them. That's great,

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Danica. Just so much courage to share you guys story and I'm so grateful.

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And you you're such a testament of strength and love for Jaden and what a

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caregiving role looks like, especially being a young person

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and and being a student. It's just so inspiring. So

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I want our listeners to remember that self care is not a luxury. It's a

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necessity. So thank you, Danica, for sharing your story with

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us. Thanks for having me on.

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Thank you for joining another conversation on Journey with Care, where we inspire Journey With

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Care, where we inspire curious Canadians on their path

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of faith and living life with purpose in community. Journey

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With Care is an initiative of Care Impact, a Canadian charity

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dedicated to connecting and equipping the whole church to journey well

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in community. You can visit their website at careimpact.ca or

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visit journey with care. Ca to get more information on weekly

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episodes, Journey with Prayer, and details about our upcoming events

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and meetups. You can also leave us a message, share your thoughts,

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and connect with like minded individuals who are on their own journeys of

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faith and purpose. Thank you for sharing this podcast and helping

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these stories reach the community. Together, we can explore ways to

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journey in a good way. And always remember to stay curious.

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About the Podcast

Journey With Care
Equipping communities and the Church to love neighbours well
The conversations that inspire curious Canadians on their journey of faith and living life on purpose in community. Join us for thought-provoking conversations that inspire you to live a life of purpose and connect with like-minded individuals. Discover actionable insights, practical tools, and inspiring stories from leaders who are shaping the future of faith, business, and community. Together, let's disrupt the status quo and create a world where faith and entrepreneurship intersect. Become part of a community that is passionate about making a difference.
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