A Settler's Path to Indigenous Reconciliation | Revisiting Our Conversation with Lyn Dyck
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Description
What does it mean to be a settled stranger in Canada, and how can we genuinely engage in reconciliation?
In this conversation, hosts Wendi Park and Johan Heinrichs revisit a poignant discussion from season two with Lyn Dyck, the executive director of the Evangelical Mennonite Mission Conference. Lyn shares the moving journey of fostering Indigenous children with his wife, Jennifer, and their efforts to build authentic cross-cultural relationships. The episode delves into fostering in a predominantly white area, Lyn's reflections on his roots, and actionable steps for reconciliation. Lyn also emphasizes the personal nature of relationships and learning from shared histories. This replay of "Loving the Stranger Among Us" from Journey With Care offers timeless insights into forging true connections and moving forward together.
Time Stamps
[05:00] Embracing Foster Care Commitment
[08:30] Embracing Indigenous Community and Heritage
[11:22] Inclusive Education for Anishinaabe Students
[15:31] Mennonite Migration and Heritage Reflections
[17:53] TRC's Call to Churches
[20:18] Growth Through Cultural Reflection
[26:29] Path to Reconciliation: Bridging Cultures
[27:49] Grandma and Wife's Deep Bond
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Transcript
Hello. Johan here. Welcome back to Journey with Care. We're continuing our
Speaker:replay series as we count down to our exciting season 4
Speaker:launch on Feb. 14. Mark your calendars. The podcast
Speaker:is going with a new format, and this is a series that you won't wanna
Speaker:miss. And for those of you that like that sort of thing, there will be
Speaker:a new podcast cover and theme music, of course. So make sure you tune
Speaker:in to listen to what that's gonna be. But today, we're
Speaker:revisiting a powerful conversation from season two where Wendy sits
Speaker:down with Lynn Dick, executive director of the Evangelical
Speaker:Mennonite Mission Conference. Lynn shares his family's journey of
Speaker:fostering indigenous children and building authentic cross cultural
Speaker:relationships. Together, they'll explore what it means to be a settled stranger in
Speaker:Canada and how we can move forward in reconciliation through genuine relationships
Speaker:rather than quick fixes. This is from the series loving the stranger
Speaker:among us. It was 1 of the most listened to episodes of that season.
Speaker:So whether this is your first time listening or you're listening for a
Speaker:second time, you'll be sure to get lots out of this episode with some
Speaker:timeless reminders of what it means to be a settled stranger. So let's dive into
Speaker:this meaningful conversation with Wendy and Lynn.
Speaker:Welcome to Journey with Care. We're in our series, Loving the Stranger Among Us. And
Speaker:today, we're diving into a topic that you might find really relatable. We're
Speaker:talking about the settled stranger. I don't know if you've been following along.
Speaker:I hope you have. We have been talking about love and fear,
Speaker:stranger danger. We had Rahadi in, for our intro episode,
Speaker:and I encourage you to make sure you listen to those. But today, we're
Speaker:talking about the settled stranger, white settlers, those with European
Speaker:descent. And in studio today, we have Lynn Dick to talk about it
Speaker:from his perspective. Lynn, welcome to the podcast.
Speaker:Thank you. Glad to be here. So good to have you here. We've had
Speaker:some conversations in the past in this Shasta. For those who
Speaker:don't know where we are located, I have an office, a podcast
Speaker:studio, and we are, yes, in Winnipeg, Winnipeg, and
Speaker:there's snow right around us, and you braved it. You're still in the studio, so
Speaker:welcome back. Absolutely. Glad to be here. We've had some really
Speaker:interesting conversations in the past, but before we dive right into what it
Speaker:means to be a settled stranger in the land of Turtle Island,
Speaker:I want to just give you an opportunity to introduce yourself.
Speaker:So my name is Lindec. I'm married to my wife, Jennifer. We've been married for
Speaker:the last thirty three years. Currently, I am in the role of
Speaker:executive director for the EMMC, Evangelical Mennonite Mission Conference.
Speaker:But 1 of the things that I'm probably most proud about
Speaker:is the family that I have. And we are, we're a blended
Speaker:family. Tell me more. I have, 2 older
Speaker:daughters, and now 1 son-in-law who has just entered into
Speaker:the family. I am. Congratulations. It's a boy. It's a boy, a
Speaker:bouncing baby boy. So they are our first daughters,
Speaker:you would say. And then in addition to that, we have 2 foster
Speaker:daughters who are 10 and 13, who have been with us for
Speaker:the majority of their lives. Our 13 year old came to us when she was
Speaker:a day old, and our 10 year old has been with us for six years.
Speaker:So we are tremendously blessed by them.
Speaker:They are indigenous. So we get to, we get to
Speaker:learn many different things from each other and with each other. So that's
Speaker:been a lot of fun. And think that's why our conversations have gone
Speaker:on over these years because you have been wrestling or you have been
Speaker:walking through this path of what it does it mean to be
Speaker:white evangelical, welcoming children
Speaker:that are of indigenous descent in your home? And can you
Speaker:tell me a little bit of what it's meant for you to walk into that
Speaker:path, into choosing to foster in the first place,
Speaker:choosing to foster indigenous children. And
Speaker:some would say it's it could be controversial or there there must have been a
Speaker:lot going on your mind to to bring you down that path. I also wanna
Speaker:just say beforehand why I love having these
Speaker:conversations with you is because there's some integrity in how you are wrestling
Speaker:through it. But what brought you down that path? Can you tell us what that
Speaker:path looked like? Yeah. We got into into fostering about fifteen
Speaker:years ago. At the time, we had what we thought was the
Speaker:perfect little family, right? It was myself and my wife and our 2
Speaker:daughters. And my wife had actually just in the last
Speaker:couple of years at that time gone back into the workforce,
Speaker:Right? Our kids were old enough to be in school and, she became an
Speaker:EA. And she loved the work that she was doing there. She was often
Speaker:working with people who had difficulties learning disabilities
Speaker:and stuff like that. And it was right about that time that there was
Speaker:getting to be more stuff in the news about the plight of
Speaker:children who were in care and often finding
Speaker:that there weren't enough people who were able to take care of children
Speaker:that were in care. And she started to come home and just say,
Speaker:Lynn, I think this is something that we gotta do. And I was
Speaker:a bit of a tough nut to crack because I was like, man, we're in
Speaker:a good place right now. Like, right? What is this going to mean if we're
Speaker:going to bring in other children into our
Speaker:home? But eventually we started to do some respite, right, to give
Speaker:other parents some time, some breaks. And, you know, we did
Speaker:that. That was almost like getting into the child welfare system with
Speaker:training wheels on, right? We can do this,
Speaker:but we'll do it for a weekend and then we go right back to
Speaker:life as we knew it, Right? But in time, you
Speaker:know, and especially the way that it tugged at my wife's heart,
Speaker:she just continued to come back and say, I think I need to quit
Speaker:my job and this needs to be what we do. This needs to become a
Speaker:ministry that we do. So that's what we ended
Speaker:up doing. So your path into fostering was through respite, and
Speaker:you got a feel and and, obviously, it tugged on your heart
Speaker:that maybe this is something that I could offer in a parenting
Speaker:role and and provide a safe and nurturing home. How was
Speaker:that leap from just general fostering to
Speaker:going cross cultural? With indigenous people being overrepresented
Speaker:in the child welfare system, what was it like for you to
Speaker:to go there? Well, that was actually fairly
Speaker:intentional on our part. When we looked at getting involved with
Speaker:fostering, we felt that we were being led to do this
Speaker:with indigenous people, with indigenous kids, because we saw such a such
Speaker:a great need there. And we wanted to learn.
Speaker:We already were looking at it at that time already. There's
Speaker:gotta be something to this. There's gotta be something that
Speaker:we as, like now we're learning the term as settlers,
Speaker:but that we can do to start to build some of
Speaker:this reconciliation. Right? This was before the TRC was
Speaker:even a thing. But we just felt like God was saying to
Speaker:us, You guys gotta put yourself out there and do something like this.
Speaker:So when we had our first placement,
Speaker:it was like trial by fire. We had a 2
Speaker:year old little guy that came to be with us, and he
Speaker:was just, wow. He was
Speaker:like, he was a whirlwind, right? Like he came in and
Speaker:energy galore. He had some disabilities
Speaker:that arose from being FAS. So he was ADHD
Speaker:and different kind of things like that. And, you know, when you
Speaker:first go into some of these things, you have this idyllic thing of, oh,
Speaker:we're gonna really, we're
Speaker:just gonna love the child and it's all gonna be wonderful. And
Speaker:it was like, oh my goodness. We started to
Speaker:say that, you know, this little guy was our spiritual
Speaker:exercise. Right? And if you think about it, when you think of doing
Speaker:any kind of exercise, if you want to build a muscle to get stronger, you
Speaker:put resistance to it. Right? What do we learn through different trials?
Speaker:How do we learn to be resilient in another area?
Speaker:And that was what we were learning here. We were learning
Speaker:something here. We were learning about a family, about a
Speaker:situation. We got to be his parents for three and a
Speaker:half years until he was able to transition back to
Speaker:be with his mother and with his other brothers and sisters.
Speaker:It was a really neat process. And did you learn a lot about
Speaker:his indigeneity, in that process? Mhmm. I
Speaker:mean, 1 of the things that it allowed us to do was to become part
Speaker:of the community. We got to learn and get to know the
Speaker:social workers who the majority of them were Indigenous. We
Speaker:get to learn about his community that he was part of, go to the
Speaker:celebrations, to the powwows. Because 1 of the things that we wanted to
Speaker:make sure was we didn't want, I hope this
Speaker:sounds not too strange, but we didn't want him to become white. We
Speaker:wanted him to be able to be part of,
Speaker:you know, our lives, but to gain an understanding
Speaker:of who he was, what his heritage was,
Speaker:and that he could be proud of that to to help him to learn those
Speaker:things. And in the process, we were learning as well. And you just
Speaker:have a deeper appreciation and respect Oh. For the people
Speaker:of the land. Right? Yep. And I think that's beautiful, just what you
Speaker:said here. It wasn't about extracting them. It was about how do
Speaker:we help them be proud of who they are and what is our
Speaker:role. Because some people would say it's controversial to
Speaker:enter into foster care, particularly with indigenous
Speaker:children. It's just the new residential school system.
Speaker:Now there's a lot of things we could talk about that. It's it's it
Speaker:isn't perfect. However, that's not the heart that you
Speaker:came into this as a white settler. We should
Speaker:add you're living in Southern Manitoba, which is predominantly
Speaker:Mennonite land, settlers that came by
Speaker:invitation to the treaty land, the treaties that were
Speaker:broken, settled in that land. And so tell me
Speaker:a little bit more. What was that like having a
Speaker:multicultural family with indigenous children in your family
Speaker:and going to church, going to school, being that family that is
Speaker:maybe growing that muscle at a more faster speed than
Speaker:others around you. Can you tell me the highs and lows of that?
Speaker:Yeah. I think some of those things, we're just very thankful
Speaker:that we had a community and we had a church
Speaker:that came around us in support very
Speaker:quickly. But we also saw that it was a
Speaker:community and a church that was willing to learn about
Speaker:the children that we brought into our home. At times, there were
Speaker:times when people would say things that you just kinda, Oh, boy.
Speaker:There's a little bit of grace that we got to give you here. Because
Speaker:sometimes people can assume that if you are a foster parent, they're just temporary
Speaker:kids. For us, they were never temporary
Speaker:kids. Even though we knew that at times we would have some children
Speaker:for six months, we'd have some children for a year and a half or something
Speaker:like that, we couldn't do this well if we didn't see
Speaker:ourselves as their parents, right, if we didn't love them the same way
Speaker:as we loved our bio kids. So that was
Speaker:something. Because we've been doing this now for about fifteen years,
Speaker:we have been blessed by being in a school system where we actually have
Speaker:a school that our kids are able to go to that's a K-eight school.
Speaker:And the thing that we have just found to be so special
Speaker:with that school is as they do
Speaker:any kind of teaching or anything like that, they ask us
Speaker:whether our children would be willing to share a little bit of their
Speaker:lives, helping people to understand what it
Speaker:means when you say that you're Anishinaabe or when you say that you're
Speaker:Ojibwe. What does that mean? For the kids in our area, just like you
Speaker:said, many of them are are white settlers, but they're starting to
Speaker:become more and more newcomers from other lands that are coming into
Speaker:Canada now as well. 1 of the things that I often see from our kids
Speaker:is while they understand that they have this history that
Speaker:is a little bit different than some of the other kids, They don't wanna be
Speaker:treated as different. And that is something that we
Speaker:have noticed with the school that we are part of. The teachers,
Speaker:the kids, the way that they come around our kids
Speaker:and befriend them, and they are able to be
Speaker:just who they are. And I imagine that would take some
Speaker:intentionality on the part of school, on the part of yourselves
Speaker:in a predominantly white area. There are other
Speaker:indigenous people. There your children are not alone in that. 1 of
Speaker:the topics that we will be having in our series, and I'll be talking with
Speaker:a neighbor of mine, is the estranged indigenous
Speaker:person. It's interesting. It's ironic, actually, that we're we're
Speaker:talking about the estranged indigenous who are
Speaker:of this land but often feel othered. And so we're gonna
Speaker:hear firsthand from somebody that has had
Speaker:experience of feeling othered, and it it takes intentionality
Speaker:to change that for this next generation. Yep. So I imagine
Speaker:though as your children are finding their
Speaker:belonging in the school system and you are learning with
Speaker:them because you are their primary caregivers.
Speaker:You are learning with them who they are Mhmm. And and who
Speaker:they represent and the things they can be proud of.
Speaker:1 of the things that we have tried to do, and I think, you
Speaker:know, my wife, Jennifer, has done a really good job at
Speaker:this, which is to be their number 1 fan, but also to be their advocate
Speaker:when it comes to looking at their learning plans, looking at what can we
Speaker:do to ensure that they can come out with the best learning
Speaker:that they can. Because sometimes with some of
Speaker:the disabilities that they may have, if you just meet
Speaker:them, you may think 1 thing, or you may have, some
Speaker:people may even have a stereotype about, oh, well,
Speaker:this is them. Right? And yet we have to
Speaker:continually say, No. Some of these things, their shyness,
Speaker:they at times aren't going to tell you exactly what's going on
Speaker:in their life. That doesn't mean that they're trying to push you away or anything
Speaker:like that. That means that you just need to spend a little bit more time
Speaker:because you'll know once you get into their circle. You'll know when
Speaker:you're in. And when you're in, they know that they can trust
Speaker:you. Right? Yeah. I'd love to ask you another question in
Speaker:a little different vein here. How have you
Speaker:learned about your roots, and what would you say your
Speaker:relation to the land is here in Canada?
Speaker:Mhmm. So for myself, I have been a guy. I've always
Speaker:enjoyed history. I've been fascinated by
Speaker:some of the books that I have, even on my family, where I'm
Speaker:able to see back into, right back into where
Speaker:they were in Europe, where they got pushed from 1 land to
Speaker:another land, to the point where they were eventually invited
Speaker:to come to Canada to start to settle and to
Speaker:do agriculture and stuff like that within our land. So that has
Speaker:always fascinated me. I even live in a house that has that
Speaker:kind of history. It's 1 of the first houses that was built.
Speaker:It's 1 of these old house barn combination houses. And I
Speaker:often think as because it's quite original on the inside.
Speaker:And I often wonder as I look at the different, at the walls and
Speaker:stuff like that and go, what stories could these things tell?
Speaker:Because the Mennonites who did come over, they came, most of them came over,
Speaker:many of them, I should say, came over in 1874. My
Speaker:family, my wife's family, they all came over at about the same time,
Speaker:began to settle and to start to build their lives and stuff like that.
Speaker:My findings, though, are that some of the
Speaker:things that we're learning today about what was
Speaker:done with the land, with the treaties, with many of those
Speaker:things, I'm not sure that many of the people at
Speaker:the time really had any idea. Their intent when they came from
Speaker:Europe over to here was to build a better life for themselves.
Speaker:They were concerned about being part of military
Speaker:conscription. They were concerned about the government being involved in
Speaker:their lives, in their churches, in their schools. They wanted to be able to teach
Speaker:and do those kind of things themselves. So once they
Speaker:came here, they were actually largely very separate from what the government
Speaker:did or wanted or anything like that. And they were what is often
Speaker:termed deemed to be the quiet in the land. Right?
Speaker:Yeah. And yet it's interesting as we we dig into it. Yeah. You're right.
Speaker:There's a lot of my ancestry also came through the
Speaker:same same ships. Right? Same ships. There was a lot of
Speaker:naivety, but also yet they were
Speaker:complicit with what the government was doing in taking the land.
Speaker:And there was shared power in owning
Speaker:land. The very first owners of land, of this
Speaker:treaty land that was sectioned off square by square.
Speaker:And they were prospering off the land, and they
Speaker:were very I should say they. We, our our ancestry
Speaker:was very proud of our ancestry and keeping to ourselves. So there
Speaker:was a a quiet, humble pride, so to
Speaker:speak, in keeping to ourselves and yet prospering
Speaker:and benefiting. And and often, from the
Speaker:stories I've heard from my own family, there was innate
Speaker:racism that was passed on generation to
Speaker:generation that thought of what the
Speaker:government thought of Terra Nullius. Mhmm. Right? And when we look
Speaker:at the the TRC or the Truth and Reconciliation Commission, there's a whole
Speaker:section there, relating to the church, talking to
Speaker:the church, calls to action, inviting the church. And when we often think
Speaker:of the TRC, we often think of something more political or
Speaker:something out there, maybe the Roman Catholics and the Anglicans and The United the the
Speaker:ones that were the early people influencing government and taking place
Speaker:in government, and we weren't those. Right? We were we were just kinda kept to
Speaker:ourselves. However, I'd love to read the call to
Speaker:action number 49 that is addressing the church and how we as
Speaker:as Anabaptists also are complicit to these calls to action as
Speaker:well. We call upon all religious denominations and
Speaker:faith groups who have not already done so to repudiate concepts
Speaker:used to justify European sovereignty, that's what we were just
Speaker:relating to, over indigenous lands and peoples,
Speaker:such as the doctrine of discovery in terra nullius.
Speaker:So the doctrine of discovery and the concept of terra nullius was
Speaker:an international law at that time of colonization. So this was
Speaker:sort of the atmosphere that our people too who came from Europe that that
Speaker:had migrated different places. They lived in this concept because they
Speaker:were white, because they were of European descent. They would have had
Speaker:that concept of terra nullius with indoctrinated within them. It
Speaker:was international law, the time of colonization here on Turtle
Speaker:Island, which we refer to as this whole body of North America
Speaker:referred to as Turtle Island, and it provided a legal and moral
Speaker:framework that allowed European Christians to
Speaker:dispossess and lay claim to land on
Speaker:the presumption of racial superiority. That's a harsh thing for me
Speaker:to to even say on on something like this because it's not who
Speaker:I have understood myself to be in my ancestry because
Speaker:I think there there is a lot of good, but racial superiority over
Speaker:indigenous peoples. And so I don't see it so much as
Speaker:a I'm not racist as an individual, but just a systemic racism
Speaker:that we, as Anabaptist people, have been complicit in,
Speaker:and that's touchy. Have you had conversations
Speaker:within your leadership roles or within
Speaker:your church experience, within your community that is largely,
Speaker:Mennonite? Have you had experiences where people don't
Speaker:wanna talk about it? Or it's it's a harsh thing to to come to
Speaker:terms with? I think when we when we look at some of these
Speaker:things, and I think you you kinda nailed it when you said these are
Speaker:these are things that are systemic. Like, these are things that with some
Speaker:of the first immigrants that would have come over, this is what they would have
Speaker:understood. And I think we have to take that personally because there
Speaker:are things in our own lives that we come to learn that are
Speaker:revealed to us that make us kind of go, oh boy, some of the things
Speaker:that I said or did fifteen, twenty years ago, I've
Speaker:learned differently now. And I think that's the same thing that happens
Speaker:within our people as well. I can vividly remember
Speaker:conversations that grandparents would have said that
Speaker:today would have made me cringe, but that was what
Speaker:they knew. That was what they understood. It's not an excuse, but that's
Speaker:where they were at at that time. And that I think is what we as
Speaker:a people need to continue to do, which is to learn and to grow.
Speaker:But now as you come to new learning, new understanding,
Speaker:it's like, what are we gonna do differently from here on
Speaker:in? My wife, Jennifer, was reminding me of a course
Speaker:that I think it was last year that she had been in, learning more about
Speaker:Indigenous history and how that intersected
Speaker:with we as settlers when we came. And the
Speaker:person that was teaching it or was leading it was saying, you know,
Speaker:we have to get to the point where we're not trying to solve the thing.
Speaker:That's actually not what we're trying to do. You can't fix it. You can't go
Speaker:back and fix it, but we can grieve it. But can we grieve it
Speaker:together? Right? It's not just white people grieve this thing
Speaker:for what you did. It's like, no, actually, there's stuff that
Speaker:we need to work on together here. Right? Can we
Speaker:grieve it? Can we live together in it? Can we care for each
Speaker:other? And then let's figure out a way of moving forward. Right?
Speaker:Yeah. And it's not about beating ourselves up,
Speaker:and shaming has never brought great growth. No.
Speaker:It it actually causes us to retreat. In last episode, we talked about the love
Speaker:and the fear parts of our brain. We want to go into that
Speaker:prefrontal cortex, that ability to love, to reason, to to be in there
Speaker:and not live in fear. Like, oh, if I say something wrong,
Speaker:then whatever. It it's about learning. I love that you you
Speaker:mentioned learning. It's having that growth mindset. It it's about
Speaker:repentance in the truest sense of turning away and
Speaker:doing a one eighty from what now what that I know, bringing into
Speaker:consciousness. Now that I know these things that are happening or
Speaker:now that I know that I have assumed power in the room or
Speaker:now that I know that these things have happened in in my past,
Speaker:these are some actionable things I can move forward. It's about
Speaker:moving forward in a good way. What are some things that you would
Speaker:suggest for our listeners that are good actionable steps that helped
Speaker:you along on this journey, that are helping you along this
Speaker:journey as you foster, but also as you just
Speaker:lead, many churches through this?
Speaker:I think 1 of the things that I would say is make it personal. For
Speaker:1 of our foster daughters, her her stepbrother had passed
Speaker:away last year. So our foster daughter's bio
Speaker:dad had asked her to be at the funeral, at the wake, and
Speaker:also said that it would be okay for Jennifer to be there along
Speaker:with. Jennifer wanted to make sure that this was okay with the social
Speaker:workers and stuff like that. And they said, Yeah, it's okay if the family is
Speaker:okay with it. Jennifer, wanting to be respectful of what was
Speaker:happening and stuff like that, she held herself back. She kind of stayed at the
Speaker:back of the room and didn't want to get in the way
Speaker:or anything like that. Our foster daughter's grandma, as
Speaker:well as her dad, looked over at Jennifer and said, Why are you standing back
Speaker:there? They
Speaker:said, You're family. You need to come up here and
Speaker:sit with us.
Speaker:That was it it floored her. Right?
Speaker:That She was the stranger. She was the stranger. They
Speaker:invited her in. And it was like, oh my
Speaker:goodness. You know, it was something that we have
Speaker:not that it was a primary thing that we were striving for, right? Our
Speaker:striving has always been to care for our kids
Speaker:as if they are our own. We introduce them as our daughters.
Speaker:And, you know, our desire has always been to make
Speaker:sure that they have relations with their extended
Speaker:family and to be proud of, as I said
Speaker:before, be proud of their heritage For
Speaker:the father and the grandmother to have
Speaker:said that, that made it feel like they recognized
Speaker:what we have been trying to do over all these years. We have not
Speaker:been keeping separate. We have not been doing any of those
Speaker:things. We've always been trying to see how do we integrate together
Speaker:because I think that's a better way of moving forward
Speaker:with the system that we have. The thing that I mean about making it
Speaker:personal is as much as
Speaker:we can advocate for the government or for
Speaker:different organizations or for denominations
Speaker:to take steps to reconciliation.
Speaker:It's gonna go a whole lot faster if we each make it
Speaker:personal. Take the opportunity to
Speaker:become part of a indigenous
Speaker:person's life. Look for a way of making making a a
Speaker:friend. Right? Go at the speed of relationships. Right?
Speaker:Totally. Right. Because if you think about it, when when we talk about truth and
Speaker:reconciliation, truth truth is some of the stuff that's coming out now, right?
Speaker:Like we're understanding the truth of the treaties, the truth
Speaker:of the things that have broken those pieces. We've understood
Speaker:the truth of residential school. But
Speaker:the additional part, the part that we all can really
Speaker:take part in, is the reconciliation part. Reconciliation
Speaker:takes 2 people, not just 1. You can be 1 person
Speaker:that forgives another. The other person doesn't need to accept it, but
Speaker:you've forgiven. That's 1 person. Reconciliation is an act that
Speaker:has to be followed through by 2 people. So that
Speaker:reconciliation means that white settler, Indigenous
Speaker:person, we need to look for ways of how do we bring those 2
Speaker:together? And I think 1 of the things that I've noticed is
Speaker:with many of the people within our churches and within our denomination and stuff
Speaker:like that, is there's a lot of people that are really interested in
Speaker:looking for how do I do that? But a lot of times they can be
Speaker:a little freaked out, a little bit scared. I don't want to say the wrong
Speaker:thing. I don't want to do the wrong thing. And if there's anything
Speaker:that I can tell you, man, the people that we have gotten to meet
Speaker:are people who are just, they're gracious. And
Speaker:just like the funeral or the wake, that kind of a thing,
Speaker:to be able to look at the white lady that's standing at the back, just
Speaker:kind of trying to stay out of everybody's way and saying, come
Speaker:Here, you sit with me on this front bench. And what I love about
Speaker:that example is both this indigenous
Speaker:grandma and your wife were not operating in
Speaker:a fear based brain that would have shut all of that down. No. They were
Speaker:both working from the a love based brain that allowed them to
Speaker:connect, that allowed them to grieve, that allowed them to be creative in
Speaker:how they work together and just love each other.
Speaker:The relationship that that grandma and my wife have had, it's a relationship
Speaker:that is built over the last thirteen years. It's a relationship
Speaker:where Jennifer and this grandma have been able to listen to
Speaker:each other about their stories. She's been able to hear grandma's
Speaker:story. She's been able to hear the story of her being a residential school
Speaker:survivor. She's been able to hear about her
Speaker:own past, her own times where she struggled as a mom,
Speaker:getting into substance abuse and stuff like that, not able to to take care of
Speaker:her own kids. In the whole process, she's been able to hear
Speaker:how grandma has come to learn
Speaker:and to love Jesus as her savior. And
Speaker:that has just been beautiful. And I think the way that you said it
Speaker:is exactly right. This is a relationship that the 2 of these people
Speaker:had that if others looking in would have
Speaker:gone, why is she hauling white lady up to the front
Speaker:of this whole thing? She's my family. Yeah.
Speaker:Right? She's gotta be here. And I think that's a really important
Speaker:message that we, as white settlers, don't barge in
Speaker:out of good intention because I'm gonna do reconciliation, so I'm just gonna get her
Speaker:done. If we're not willing to put in the time and the the
Speaker:heart and the love into relationships that
Speaker:take time, there's been a hundred and over a 50, well over
Speaker:a hundred, but a 50 of our our history of years of
Speaker:not necessarily walking in relationship. So we can
Speaker:allow time, that cup of coffee, and and so many experiences
Speaker:to build that trust and be invited in, not just barge in.
Speaker:Yep. And and I think that's what many of the people would say. If you
Speaker:think back to, it's really only been a couple of years since we've been starting
Speaker:to find some of these unmarked graves and stuff like that. And it seems like
Speaker:then many people within Canada became attentive
Speaker:to, oh my goodness, what has actually happened with these residential
Speaker:schools? And I so appreciate the posture that many of the
Speaker:indigenous people said, hey, look, we're not asking you guys to
Speaker:fix this thing. You you can't fix all this stuff. We've known it for years.
Speaker:We've known it for years, but you're now coming to to realize this.
Speaker:If it does anything, can you listen to us now?
Speaker:Okay. Let's hear the heart. Hear my
Speaker:heart. And I think when we do that, we go,
Speaker:Oh, now I understand. Now we can care
Speaker:for each other. Now I understand a little bit more about some of the things
Speaker:that have gone on in your past and how that has shaped you. I
Speaker:think that is something that we are constantly having to do,
Speaker:right? Even as we go back into the white settlers' history,
Speaker:it's not 1 of these things of, well, let's leave the past in the
Speaker:past. Can't really do that. Our past shapes
Speaker:us. Our past are things that we learn from. At times,
Speaker:they make us resilient. At times, there are things that that are there
Speaker:that we learn. It's like our psychological records in a doctor's
Speaker:office. My husband is a psychotherapist, and he's like, it always makes sense
Speaker:once you hear their story. It always makes sense of, let's say, in
Speaker:a cultural group when you hear their story. Yep.
Speaker:Now when we look back on our past, we also have to be careful that
Speaker:we don't just stay in that past. I'm gonna use 1 of your 1
Speaker:of your brother's quotes. Mhmm. We learn looking back. We
Speaker:lead looking forward. So we learn about all kinds
Speaker:of stuff as we look back. Right? And we look back in our past, both
Speaker:as indigenous peoples, as well as white settlers.
Speaker:We learn about those things. And there are some of those things that we have
Speaker:to repent of. And yet, what can we learn from
Speaker:those things now as we move forward, right? If 1 of those things is
Speaker:that we learn to build relationship with each
Speaker:other, We start to learn about each other.
Speaker:And that's on both sides, understanding
Speaker:what are some of the beautiful characteristics of our indigenous
Speaker:brothers and sisters. And as we learn those things,
Speaker:some of the trappings of us as some of the white settlers kind of fall
Speaker:away, our neighbors can also see, Oh, what can
Speaker:we actually learn from each other together? How can we do
Speaker:this thing together now? How can we live? How can we learn? How do how
Speaker:can we be better people moving forward? Well, Lynn, thank you
Speaker:for being a brave white settler who is on this journey of
Speaker:reconciliation. Thank you for helping us learn
Speaker:what it means to journey in a good way. Wendy, I
Speaker:wanna thank you for creating a platform like this where
Speaker:the white settler and the indigenous person can
Speaker:share about where they're at. I would also like to thank our
Speaker:indigenous neighbors, our brothers and sisters, for the
Speaker:patience and grace that they have extended to us
Speaker:as we learn and come to grips with some of the things that have happened.
Speaker:And as we look for ways of leading
Speaker:forward through this to be better
Speaker:people together.
Speaker:Thank you for joining another conversation on Journey with Care,
Speaker:where we inspire curious Canadians on their path of faith
Speaker:and living life with purpose in community. Journey with Care is an
Speaker:initiative of Care Impact, a Canadian charity dedicated to
Speaker:connecting and equipping the whole church to journey well in community.
Speaker:You can visit their website at careimpact.ca or visit
Speaker:journeywithcare.ca to get more information on weekly episodes,
Speaker:Journey with Prayer, and details about our upcoming events and meetups.
Speaker:You can also leave us a message, share your thoughts, and connect with like
Speaker:minded individuals who are on their own journeys of faith and purpose.
Speaker:Thank you for sharing this podcast and helping these stories reach the
Speaker:community. Together, we can explore ways to journey in a good way.
Speaker:And always remember to stay curious.
