Love: Disrupting Singleness Narratives | Out of Sync Christmas With Rebecca

Johan Heinrichs [: 00:00:01

Merry Christmas, everyone. Welcome to Journey with Care where we're unwrapping the true spirit of the season. Join us as we dive into some Christmas traditions we've embraced as Christians. So get out your candy canes, stockings, Christmas trees. Carol's Star. Ho ho. Hold on here. Let's back it up.

Johan Heinrichs [: 00:00:27

Because beneath the tinsel and carols, there's a deeper story to be told. This advent, we'll be daring to reassess our hallmark Christianity for a more honest yet hopeful look at Middle Eastern Jesus, Emmanuel, god with us. So get ready for an advent journey that goes beyond the holiday glitz as we question, explore, an unraveled truth because walking in light of that truth will ultimately make this season more meaningful to us. This is our advent series, the out of sync Christmas.

Wendi Park [: 00:01:03

This final week of advent is all about love. Yes. That's right. Love is in the air. And if mistletoe and predictable hallmark romance is just not cutting it for you, you've come to the right episode. I'm your host Wendy Park in the Shasta studio. We have special guest, Rebecca. Put aside your mistletoe because we're gonna talk all about singleness, sacred idols and hypersexuality in the church.

Wendi Park [: 00:01:27

But before we dive into this conversation, let me tell you about this week's sponsor. Today's episode is brought to you by DG inspired, your go to creative powerhouse for elevating your ideas into stunning reality. With your dreaming up, a brand refresh, an outstanding website, or eye catching graphics, DG inspired has got your back. Doralin and her team have been creative geniuses behind Care Impact and can do the same for you. Head over to dginspire.com to bring your ideas to life. Alright. Let's get into the conversation. Rebecca, welcome to the studio.

Rebecca [: 00:02:04

Thank you, Wendy. I'm so excited to be here.

Wendi Park [: 00:02:07

Yes. We we are in the Shasta on our driveway in the middle of winter in this cozy place. The candles are lit, and I'm just excited for other people to Pull in a chair and listen to our conversation.

Rebecca [: 00:02:18

I think it's gonna be a good one.

Wendi Park [: 00:02:19

I think so. Rebecca, you came highly recommended by Johan, our producer, To talk on this special advent about love. And you know a thing or two about love, particularly in the work that you do. You're working in social services. Tell me a little bit more about yourself.

Rebecca [: 00:02:36

Okay. Well, I'm single. If that was not apparent from the topic, I am A subject matter expert, one might say, at this point in my life, I've been in my mid thirties, so that means I've been doing this for a while. I love coffee. I love the Bible. When you put the 2 together, it's kind of magical early in the morning beside the Christmas tree.

Wendi Park [: 00:03:05

Mentioned. On love for this advent season, being single as you have mentioned. But tell me a little bit about your experience In the church, as a single person, and your experience with love.

Rebecca [: 00:03:21

That's loaded. I'll say that off the hop. It's complicated. Mhmm. It depends on, I guess, first off, how are we defining love and what context. Are we talking about love? Because there's so many different types of love that are that are seen both in the scripture and also when we go to church on a Sunday, we are engaged in multiple different kinds of love.

Wendi Park [: 00:03:47

Well and I think therein lies the problem.

Rebecca [: 00:03:49

Yeah.

Wendi Park [: 00:03:50

Can we just acknowledge that that when we say love, we're actually talking about a plethora of meanings around it. English isn't the most descript language for describing the love of the Bible Or the love of God, shall I say, which is agape.

Rebecca [: 00:04:09

Totally. And I just had this thought of I did YWAM way back in the day, And we had a week that was love week, and we went through all of the different, biblical words for the different kinds of love. And there were some people going around all week. They're like, Fileo. Fileo. Because that's the friendship love, and we were all just like this, you know, if you know YWAM, it's just that's kind of the vibe. And so I think when people think about love generally, if we're not really specific about it, our minds immediately go to the romantic, to the eros love, and there's just so much more to it than that.

Wendi Park [: 00:04:46

I've even noticed in our worship singing often, we have a lot of Jesus is my boyfriend songs. And I'm not saying that we can't love God and that God's love isn't intimate and that our Our longing for love is there's not an intimacy around that. But I I feel like sometimes Jesus is more than my boyfriend. God's love is encompasses so much more that it has to have sort of some imagery of boyfriend, girlfriend, marriage, relationship to really capture The essence of love, but that seems more hallmark y to me.

Rebecca [: 00:05:21

I remember a a prominent leader saying Jesus is not your Like, don't take your Bible and go to Starbucks and have, like, a a date with Jesus.

Wendi Park [: 00:05:30

Well, I like doing that, though.

Rebecca [: 00:05:31

Well and you can. You can. Yeah. But To think of that in, like because that's always a sexual nature. Right. And the love of God is not to be sexualized, like, she's holy, And it gets a little bit into the minutiae when we start to talk about, like, teasing out the details between that, but

Wendi Park [: 00:05:51

I agree.

Rebecca [: 00:05:51

Like, my life has been transformed by the message of Jesus being the bridegroom.

Wendi Park [: 00:05:56

Mhmm.

Rebecca [: 00:05:57

But that's different from Jesus being my boyfriend, and I feel like the moment when I walk in through the church door, the message is another thing about love, And that's the romantic side of love, that that is like, you walk into church and you're

Wendi Park [: 00:06:11

feel in love. You

Rebecca [: 00:06:13

Well, you feel like you should be.

Wendi Park [: 00:06:14

Mhmm.

Rebecca [: 00:06:15

And if you're not, You should be looking, and people are perhaps like, oh, well, you're single, so have you noticed our Single men or lack thereof here is, like, why is that the first thing that would come up? Why are so many parts of our church Built around the nuclear family, around husbands and wives and dating, and Even if you are single, that that's the end goal. That's the trajectory.

Wendi Park [: 00:06:43

I had somebody once tell me when I was in bible college in one of the colleges and The academic dean pulled me aside. I I was traveling a lot and doing a lot of ministry and doing overseas stuff and pulled me aside with good intentions, Macy's. You know, Wendy, if you keep going down this trajectory, you're gonna be single for life. As if that was something that was, like, I was there for bridal college. I'm like, and I'm actually quite happy as a Single. I am married now

Rebecca [: 00:07:11

Mhmm.

Wendi Park [: 00:07:12

And grateful for it, but that is not a step up towards the love of God.

Rebecca [: 00:07:17

No. Love and marriage

Wendi Park [: 00:07:19

is Hard. It is sacrificial. Like Mhmm. Those are good things in itself, but that doesn't bring us into the fullness of God's love.

Rebecca [: 00:07:27

Absolutely.

Wendi Park [: 00:07:28

And I feel like that was the pressure. I got married later in my twenties, but it was like I was an old maid.

Rebecca [: 00:07:35

Tell me about it.

Wendi Park [: 00:07:35

And meet in the market. Like, why aren't you married yet?

Rebecca [: 00:07:39

Yeah. Oh, the number of things that people say Tell me a few. That one, Like, you're such a nice person. Why aren't you married yet? And I know that the heart behind that is not Aggressive and but it it feels that way, like, oh, there must be something wrong with me. Why am I not married yet? I don't know. Yeah. I must be deficient, like, feeling exclusive. I was looking through, a list of groups recently, and there were several groups that there was 1 in particular around marriage.

Rebecca [: 00:08:13

This is a small group for married people. Okay. Well, next,

Wendi Park [: 00:08:18

I got put in a group in 1 church for singles. You know what our group name was?

Rebecca [: 00:08:24

Single and ready to mingle?

Wendi Park [: 00:08:25

No. It was between a rock and a hard place. That's horrendous. And And I didn't I wanted to be gracious, but I'm like, I'm not in a hard place. I actually I'm content. And so I felt a little like I'm not sure if I belong here because I don't feel like a in between a rock and a hard place.

Rebecca [: 00:08:44

Well, I can only imagine a group with a name like that. Are they just gonna sit around and talk about how hard singleness is about how they long for marriage? Like, that's that does not sound like a good time.

Wendi Park [: 00:08:56

Yeah. It leads me to wonder. And I know today in society is different even than when I was in in my Early twenties and stuff, but leads me to think how even in society, it's hypersexualized, but Has it not also infiltrated the church Absolutely. In our value on being married, that wholeness and that, Like moving up into relationships and that romance.

Rebecca [: 00:09:26

Well, if you subscribe to the sexual ethic of the Bible, Yeah. Marriage is between a man and a woman Mhmm. And sex is reserved for marriage. That means that by default, if you're following those directives As a single person, you're not having sex. So in a culture that is pushing towards marriage and sex as being the ultimate fulfillment and this focus on Gender identity and all of these things that are so in our face all the time in the culture. Then as a single person, it's like, oh, can send a really strong message that

Wendi Park [: 00:09:59

Am I a sexual being away?

Rebecca [: 00:10:01

Sexual being? Am I wasting my sexuality by being single? The answer is no for anybody who is unsure because we just have to look to Jesus.

Wendi Park [: 00:10:12

Because, Rebecca, you are more than that. It it it may be a part of who you are and your identity, but it's not everything about us. And I know in previous week's advent series, we talked about joy. And joy can transcend our circumstances. It's not, like, arriving at that goal of being married, And and love is so much more. And I'd love to dive in a little bit more on what god's love means to you, How you've experienced god's love.

Rebecca [: 00:10:43

Yeah. I I mentioned that a little bit earlier, but there's been a few different ways that In different seasons of my life, God's love has become way more real and significant to me. When I was Kind of just out of high school, the father's love. And even in high school, I had some really amazing experiences where it just became so apparent that he loved me, Not because of anything that I did, anything that I earned, just because I was his daughter, that he had this abundant, never ending, Inexhaustible love for me, and it was compassionate and it was tender and it was This love that cared for me. It's the good father who when we ask him for something good, he doesn't give us evil things.

Wendi Park [: 00:11:36

He

Rebecca [: 00:11:37

gives us good things. He's the good father. So there was that season, but that was highlighted in 1 season. And then there was a long season where the love of Jesus As my bridegroom, as the the one who is, you know, passionately in love with me, who gave All that he could have me and all throughout the Bible, we see God referring to his bride. And I took on that bridal identity in that season, and he just really came and visited me in many, many times just reinforcing that, Like, you're beautiful. You are desired. You are accepted. I long for you.

Rebecca [: 00:12:19

I gave everything. I left heaven so that I could be with you and that Yeah. Kind of getting into a different topic there, but that we could be united, That we could be rejoined as we were meant to be back, and Eden will be again.

Wendi Park [: 00:12:33

I love that analogy too because when you're saying the bride of Christ, It's a collective you. It's a collect of it's we are the bride of Christ as a one body. Yeah. Right? And you were very much a Part of that, god knows who you are, and he's knit you into this body of Christ and that we are part of it, Not just the married people that are more part of the bride of Christ or or the people that have families, that have fertility. We could go on a tangent there too where where people feel excluded. They haven't arrived yet if they haven't born children. And and there's a a sense of needing to to produce children, To populate the Earth. And and I'm just reminded in in first John 416, it it says and we know this verse.

Wendi Park [: 00:13:18

Right? God is love, And anyone who abides in love abides in god, and god abides in them. I don't know if you've read through the Mere translation. I love How it paraphrases it. We have permanently tapped into this knowing and in the persuasion, in the love that god has vested in us. God is love. Love is who god is. To live in this place of conscious constant love is to live immersed in god And to feel perfectly at home in his continued indwelling, that god within us as his people Ring on your finger or not.

Rebecca [: 00:13:56

I think that the experience and the day to day of Receiving and growing in the love of God is not quite as glamorous or as mountaintop as I sometimes have thought that it would be. It's just like this slow progression. It's coming back to the word. It's coming back to his presence. It's Receiving it as truth. When I read those verses, first John is an amazing, amazing book. Just thinking back to the chapter before, like, we are children of God and he's this like, what manner of love has he bestowed on us that we would have the privilege of becoming his children, and it kind of honestly reminds me of a good marriage. Like Mhmm.

Rebecca [: 00:14:40

My parents have been married for, It's easy math. 44 years now, and just seeing the consistency, like, their love was not born in a day. It's born over Decades of just spending time together, of doing normal daily life together. I'm sure there's highs and there's lows, but That's the way I think that as of right now, like, I'm coming to this place of recognizing that God's love for me is it's constant and it's faithful, and it's it's always my experience of it. It was growing. His love is constant, but my ability to To really engage with him and to receive it.

Wendi Park [: 00:15:22

I'm curious. Now how have you experienced God's love In community, what has that looked like?

Rebecca [: 00:15:29

It's so in it's essential. It is essential. As a single person, there is the real possibility of loneliness and Feeling like you don't necessarily have family because you don't have your own nuclear family. Maybe you live with other people. The older you get, the less likely that is as a single person and the need for community. I don't know how single people can just go it alone. I have experienced the love of God through Friends who have invited me over into their home, who through my small group, through different people at church coming alongside me and Just doing life together, doing normal things, eating around the dinner table. Like, that's one of my one of my favorite things to do, Either inviting myself over or friends inviting me over because it's a lot easier for 1 person to go to a family than it is for a large family to Come to me?

Wendi Park [: 00:16:32

You wouldn't want our family coming over.

Rebecca [: 00:16:34

Well, you don't know.

Wendi Park [: 00:16:35

The table might not be big enough, but you're welcome at our table at any time.

Rebecca [: 00:16:38

Okay. Well, I might take you up on that. I but, seriously, one of the best ways for families to love

Wendi Park [: 00:16:44

Yeah.

Rebecca [: 00:16:44

Me, I can't speak for every single person, but is to just invite me into their everyday life. Invite me into bath time and tuck ins and going grocery shopping and arguments between spouses, like real life. And They're always at the beginning, they're so apologetic. Like, I'm so sorry that he's crying again. I'm so sorry that you're sitting in the living room while we're Settling him in his room, you know, whatever the case may be. That is such a blessing because that's not my normal. My normal is quiet, and Yeah. It's a very different pace, and I'm I love being part of the family.

Rebecca [: 00:17:25

And I think that if the church could Understand that. Yeah. It doesn't have to be polished. It's not entertaining. It's hospitality.

Wendi Park [: 00:17:34

It's doing life together. Right? Exactly. Yeah. And as a single person, we have several single people in in our family's life and in my life, and I can say it's mutual. I can say it's mutual because there are gifts and abilities that single people around my table, in my living room, just add value to our family, give attention to our kids and not as, like, in a babysitter, but we need aunties and uncles in our life. I need aunties and uncles for my children's life. That it's not just me being the single hero or the the couple hero parents that have to do everything, But that there's other people speaking value and worth and truth into their lives, spending time with them like they matter, And not just the Nucleus family. And I think there's such value in doing life together, chopping onions, Doing landscaping, whatever, and not just in a utilitarian way.

Wendi Park [: 00:18:33

It's just doing life together. We need to make that more normal, I think.

Rebecca [: 00:18:37

And I I think that's part of what the church needs to be hearing. Like, that would make A world of a difference, not just for the singles in your midst, not just for the families, but for the family of God, for Us coming together, that unity that we were talking about, that Jesus prophesied when he was praying for the church. He said you're gonna be 1 like we're 1. Yeah. We're gonna do life together. I I don't know what the future's gonna look like, but I imagine there's gonna be times when I'm really gonna need a family.

Wendi Park [: 00:19:07

Sure.

Rebecca [: 00:19:07

And I might not have one of my own. And if the church can start trending in that direction, creating a culture where that's not only normal, but that's Essential for the families. It's essential for the single people, for the old, for the young. I read this book, and it was like, People who are married are not sorted forever. Right? Terrible things happen. People pass away. People get sick. You know, there's no guarantee we're all gonna be single.

Rebecca [: 00:19:35

If not again in this age, we're gonna be single in eternity. And so

Wendi Park [: 00:19:38

Singleness isn't a deficit. Right? It's actually just part of a normal part. It's good to be single, the way it talks about. And we're not gonna try to elevate 1 over the other, But it just is.

Rebecca [: 00:19:49

I think the church has, though. Yeah. I think that there's this pendulum throughout history that swings back and forth, and right now, we're real far to the marriage side.

Wendi Park [: 00:20:00

Oh, yeah. That's our sacred idol. Don't touch that.

Rebecca [: 00:20:02

Yeah. Exactly.

Wendi Park [: 00:20:03

I was talking to some people, some neighbors of ours, the other day, and they found out one of the neighbors said it found out that my husband is a psychotherapist, this, and he specializes in marriage and family. She's coming through a divorce, and she says, oh, it must be so nice to be married to a a marriage therapist. Like, you have it so good. And I laughed, and I said, you know that any marriage is a lot of work. It's hard. Mhmm. It's hard. Right? We want to make it sound like if we're gonna be the Christian couple, I got no problems.

Wendi Park [: 00:20:36

I got no problems. You stuff it under the rug, and yet There's so many much divorce. There's so much hurt and loneliness within marriages, within the church as well as outside. It's not to say that marriage can't be good, but it is work. It's not perfect. And I think if we could Peel back the facades that we all have to face. Yep. Right? We we have to take away that plastic Christianity, And that singles could say, you know what? It's hard, or this is what I'm going through.

Wendi Park [: 00:21:07

This is what it's like, And I need family, and families to say and marriages to say, you know what? I'm going through a rough time, And my dishes aren't done, and I have loads of laundry on the floor, but welcome here. Let's do life together. I think if you and I behaved like that, I think we'd be right at home. Yeah. And I I wouldn't have to Try too hard. I could just be. Yeah. I feel like that that's something very Jesus y.

Rebecca [: 00:21:37

Absolutely. When I think about the good Samaritan, and that story is actually way more wild

Wendi Park [: 00:21:46

Mhmm.

Rebecca [: 00:21:46

Than we give it credit for Because we don't know what a Samaritan was in our current context. I've heard different people talk about it, like, If a member of Hamas came and was the person who stopped and helped this person, like, it's the least The least likely.

Wendi Park [: 00:22:06

It's the one the church wants to despise and feel justified for it

Rebecca [: 00:22:11

100%. Because

Wendi Park [: 00:22:12

they're morally on their theological ground, and they've got that corner on God.

Rebecca [: 00:22:17

Well, and then with the the priest and the Levite, they have reasons To

Wendi Park [: 00:22:23

not stop.

Rebecca [: 00:22:24

Mhmm. They have seemingly really justifiable reasons to not stop and to keep on going, and yet In Jesus telling this parable, he's saying be like the Samaritan. Be that one who stops, whose whose love is not just in word, but it's indeed. It's an action. It's that deep love that is not it's not satisfied to just stay and, you know, oh, I love you. It actually has feet and it goes out, and it finds the people who need it, and it's demonstrated by the way That we care and that we reach out and we go outside of our comfort zones and we love the stranger, Love our neighbor. Love the person who is really hard to love.

Wendi Park [: 00:23:08

And that's how God's love is demonstrated.

Rebecca [: 00:23:11

I'm the one who's really hard to love at times. Not according to God, but I think I am.

Wendi Park [: 00:23:15

Yeah. We all are. And yet we need to make space To accommodate for each other, for each other's quirks, each other's bruises, circumstances, that things that happen to us that are not necessarily your fault.

Rebecca [: 00:23:29

Mhmm.

Wendi Park [: 00:23:30

But sometimes we're those people laying at the side of the road, and we need that love to be extended to us. Mhmm.

Rebecca [: 00:23:39

I wanna live in such a way that when the Holy Spirit Points that is that one. And it doesn't it doesn't need to be that I am picking someone off the side of the road and taking them to an in and paying for their medical bills necessarily. I think sometimes we overcomplicate it, and it's offering somebody to come Come have a cup of coffee with me. A smile. Hey. How are you doing? It's stopping in at that neighbor's house that You know they live by themselves.

Wendi Park [: 00:24:08

Can I borrow a cup of sugar? It's high demand now.

Rebecca [: 00:24:11

Oh, no kidding. They've like, you got $20? Yeah. I think it's way more practical.

Wendi Park [: 00:24:17

Can I just sit on your couch? I just need to be with people.

Rebecca [: 00:24:21

Mhmm.

Wendi Park [: 00:24:22

It's being able to voice our needs and to be heard and to be reciprocated. I feel like that is God's love manifesting Among Us. And we all know the the passage in 1st Corinthians 13. It's often a Wedding text. But this text, as we know, speaks so much more than to the husband and wife. It's to all of God's creation, and it goes like this. And this is for you, Rebecca, as well as for me, Wendy, the married person. And we have ways to express this in no matter what marital status we're in or circumstance we find ourselves in relationships.

Wendi Park [: 00:25:06

But love is patient, and love is kind. It does not envy. It does not boast. It is not proud. Does not dishonor others. It is not self seeking. It is not easily angered. It keeps no record of wrongs.

Wendi Park [: 00:25:22

Love doesn't delight in evil, but rejoices in truth. It's always protecting, always trusting, always hopes, always perseveres. That is who god is. And I wonder, Rebecca, are there some ways that we can look at This Christmas, how we can embody god's love more radically, more differently than just the traditions and the this sentiment and the hallmark feelings we're going after. But what would it look like for you and I and and the person listening to us right now To embody God's love this Christmas, what are some things that we could consider?

Rebecca [: 00:26:03

As you were reading that passage, I was reminded Somebody had read that out, and in place of love, they had said Jesus every time. Jesus is patient. Jesus is kind, And I'm just reminded of the fact that we love because he first loved us. So I think the first step is always receiving the love of god for ourselves. We can't pour out what we haven't received, and so taking some time, you know, in the spirit of Advent to just Slow down and be with God. Ask him what he has for you in this season. How does he want to reveal his love to us. It says that the Holy Spirit pours out the love of God within us.

Rebecca [: 00:26:45

He wants to do that for you and for me and for everyone who's listening, And his love is endless. We can't reach the end. No matter how much you've experienced, there's always more. And so I think just taking some time to slow down to receive his love and then to listen. How do you want me to love? What would this look like for me? I think about reaching outward. Your neighbors are right next door. What would it look like to love them, to bring them some Christmas baking, to just Stop by and to say hello, to invite somebody over for dinner. Ask the holy spirit.

Rebecca [: 00:27:25

He knows what they need. He knows what's going on in their lives and what would bless them way more than I ever could, but none of these things are going to land outside of the bounds of love.

Wendi Park [: 00:27:38

And understanding our belovedness is more than doing love, acts of love. Yes. There's action When we love, there's outward manifestation, but being love is just being authentic with people.

Rebecca [: 00:27:53

That's true. True.

Wendi Park [: 00:27:54

People aren't our projects. Right? We don't need to fix other people.

Rebecca [: 00:27:58

Yeah. Living without an agenda. Right. Like, I'm not I'm not doing this so that, you know, the next time you're gonna invite me back

Johan Heinrichs [: 00:28:06

Mhmm.

Rebecca [: 00:28:06

Or that somehow god is gonna see this and I'm going to be rewarded or, you know, whatever reason, whatever mixed up reason I might have in my heart. Like, I just wanna express the love of God.

Wendi Park [: 00:28:20

Right? And that starts with a healthy attachment with God, knowing that we're loved not just for what we do Mhmm. Or earning his love for us, that we are loved as we are, and Christ died for us as we are, And the Holy Spirit is the one that draws us in. Right? His love transforms us. We don't have to do that. We just have to Be beloved, know our belovedness in God, and be love with other people, be present in people's lives. And it might take some disruption, I must say. It might disrupt that family gathering inviting that person to join. It might disrupt what we had thought we're gonna do because this person is gonna be part of our life.

Wendi Park [: 00:29:07

And chances are it'll enhance it, but it'll be different. Right?

Rebecca [: 00:29:11

Yeah. That's true. We we

Wendi Park [: 00:29:12

need to be willing to be disrupted because love is hard. Jesus' life was very disrupted. It's sacrificial.

Rebecca [: 00:29:20

Yeah.

Wendi Park [: 00:29:20

Right? It's it's not all, like, rosy and and nice and sentimental.

Rebecca [: 00:29:27

Yeah. I totally agree. I'm thinking of just different parables and different experiences from his life are just popping up. I'm like, oh, That would have been uncomfortable. Mhmm. The mix of people that he continually brought together at tables Caused a lot of lot of controversy, and he was unapologetic. He didn't apologize for bringing in Tax collectors and sex trade workers and people who were Unclean.

Wendi Park [: 00:29:58

All the marginalized people.

Rebecca [: 00:29:59

Of them. He just brought them near.

Wendi Park [: 00:30:02

Mhmm.

Rebecca [: 00:30:03

And to your point, he had no agenda with them. He just loved them. Sometimes it's just plain awkward. Yeah. Like, as much as disruptive. It's like, okay. On the surface, I don't have a lot in common with some of the people that the Lord has brought my way. And sometimes it's just being okay with the fact that This conversation is gonna be a little clunky because we're learning how to do this.

Rebecca [: 00:30:30

And He just he loves it. I imagine the father looking down over the balcony of heaven, so to speak, and seeing us doing this, just Getting out and doing it.

Wendi Park [: 00:30:42

And you know what I think makes him smile about that? He wants us to get over ourselves.

Rebecca [: 00:30:47

Yeah.

Wendi Park [: 00:30:48

Get over our own egos. Get over our own facades. Get over our own ambitions. Just to get over it. Mhmm. And do awkward well, and learn to embrace different.

Rebecca [: 00:31:01

Just own it.

Wendi Park [: 00:31:03

Own it. Yeah. I wanna be part of that. CS Lewis, in his book, The Four Loves, he he says this, to love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you wanna make sure of keeping it intact, you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully around with hobbies and little luxuries. Avoid all entanglements.

Wendi Park [: 00:31:28

Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken. It will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable. And I think that is part of that vulnerability is part of being being able to embrace something different, trying things, not expecting the outcome to be perfect, but to just love radically. And I'm personally being challenged, and and I don't know how how you're experiencing it right now in your life, But I'm personally being challenged to love radically.

Rebecca [: 00:32:10

And I think, ultimately, it's going to be known who invested their life Which ways and who actually put in their love and their time and their effort where it mattered. Mhmm. I don't think that whatever you're doing in this season, loving the unlovable, like, you're following after a really good leader who did that really well and who was really rejected for it, but who ultimately he he won the prize.

Wendi Park [: 00:32:37

And ultimately, you realize people are people, and they're all lovable. How have you found it in social services, Working in places that one would say sometimes are very hard places and hard people to love. How have you experienced the love of God in those spaces?

Rebecca [: 00:33:00

There's been some hard days. I'm not in ministry, so my My role looks a little bit different, but I I envision every day, you know, the hard conversations and situations that I'm walking into With that holy spirit, just that presence. I am bringing him and his love into these places, and it's When I take the time to slow down and to really think about it, it is such an honor to hear these stories and to get to walk alongside people And to recognize that they are in desperate need of love. How can I, through my words, through my actions, Represent the heart of the father who just wants to bring them close to tell them that they have immense value? How can I do that each and every day? I think it's simple

Wendi Park [: 00:33:56

Mhmm.

Rebecca [: 00:33:56

But it's not easy.

Wendi Park [: 00:33:57

So what does that look like? Obviously, you're not handing them a track and telling them about Jesus, but I think God's love transcends that. You bring God's love wherever you are because God's love was is within you. So what does that look like?

Rebecca [: 00:34:10

I think it's being patient.

Wendi Park [: 00:34:12

Mhmm.

Rebecca [: 00:34:13

It's it's really I'm I'm not gonna go straight down 1st Corinthians 13, but it really is. It's in being kind when people are unkind, When they're lashing out in anger and in fear, it's taking the time to try and understand What's happened to you? Why? What's brought you to this place? It's offering them resources that they might be in need of. It's answering the phone when in all honesty, sometimes I'm like, I We wanna send you to voice mail, but I'm gonna take your call. It's, you know, telling hard things with love and trying my best to give them what they need on a day to day basis. And I think so much of it is just being present with people.

Wendi Park [: 00:35:06

Mhmm.

Rebecca [: 00:35:07

I have a last minute Christmas gift suggestion because this book is just it's dynamite. It's called 7 myths about singleness. It is written by a fellow named Sam Alberry, a l l b e r r y, and it's just a short little book, and he is I think he's in his forties now. He's a single guy. He's a minister, and he just goes through 7 of the common myths about single life. Singles Don't have family. Singles are wasting their sexuality. Singleness is too easy.

Rebecca [: 00:35:44

Singleness is too hard and just really breaks these things down. And whether you're single or whether you're married, I think everyone would benefit.

Wendi Park [: 00:35:50

That's great. We'll put it in the show notes.

Rebecca [: 00:35:52

Yeah. It's it's an excellent book.

Wendi Park [: 00:35:55

Well, Rebecca, thank you so much for coming on to the podcast and sharing your wisdom and your insight on love. And I just really appreciated hearing from you. Are there any last minute thoughts that you would like to leave with our listeners on the topic of love?

Rebecca [: 00:36:12

Yeah. I would say that whether you're married or whether you're single, it's never gonna be enough. If you are looking for ultimate fulfillment for the love that is going to fill that deepest need, you're not gonna find it In singleness or in marriage, it's only found in God. And the more that I grow in trusting him, In knowing him and knowing how he loves me, the less important singleness and marriage become. It's it's not perfect. I do not walk this out on a daily basis in the way that I want to, but I'm closer now than I was Several years ago. I'm ever growing in my understanding and my lived experience of the goodness of god and recognizing that that is what I am longing for. It's not marriage.

Rebecca [: 00:37:04

It's not a full understanding of the single life and How to live it so well that I'm not gonna have a need for God. I need God.

Wendi Park [: 00:37:13

Yeah. I really love that. And I I would like to add to that to challenge ourselves to keep exploring the mysteries of god love. It's bigger than we could ever imagine, and there's there's enough to go around. The more we give, we can keep giving love. Yes. We can get compassion fatigue, and we need to be careful on on our motivations and where the source of that love comes from if we we analyze ourselves. But there is no limit to God's love.

Wendi Park [: 00:37:46

So when god brings us somebody into our life, there is something to give to that person, not from our own reserve, from God's love flowing through us. And I just wanna challenge us all to seek God's love to flow through us, To be that awkward person, to be that genuine, authentic person, that imperfect person, because I feel more comfortable when people love me out of imperfection but authenticity than this put together fake feeling kind of love. And I just want us to all be daring to love authentically like Jesus loved us authentically.

Rebecca [: 00:38:28

Let's get out there and do it.

Johan Heinrichs [: 00:38:30

Thank you for joining another conversation on Journey with Care. We're here to inspire curious Canadians on their path of faith faith and living life with purpose in community. Journey with Care is an initiative of Care Impact, a Canadian charity dedicated to connecting and equipping the whole church to journey well in community. Visit our website at journey with care dot the Care Impact, find the latest updates on our weekly episodes, details about our upcoming events, meetups, and information about our incredible guests. You can also to leave us a voice message, share your thoughts, and connect with like minded individuals who are on their own journeys of faith and purpose. Thank you for sharing this podcast with your friends. Together, we can explore ways to journey in a good way, and always remember to stay curious.