Differently Wired | Anxiety and ADHD in Community With William
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Description
What happens when the worlds of ADHD and anxiety collide? Hosts Tim Smith and Johan Heinrichs explore this question with guest William Forbes in this insightful conversation.
Diagnosed with ADHD as a child, William shares his lifelong journey of navigating focus challenges and the often-unseen struggle of undiagnosed anxiety. From the essential support of his best friend Josiah to grounding practices like weekly silence and spiritual connection, William delves into the coping mechanisms that have helped him manage his mental health.
As a passionate volunteer at a summer camp in Atlantic Canada, William discusses how he leverages his experiences to positively influence campers, particularly those with ADHD.
Through heartening anecdotes and practical advice, William emphasizes the significance of understanding, patience, and the strength found in community, culminating in a powerful narrative of resilience and faith.
Time Stamps
[03:38] Diagnosed with ADHD at age 8.
[08:55] ADHD realization at school, tried special accommodations.
[12:55] Struggling to connect with God amid distractions.
[14:46] Having a trustworthy friend is crucial.
[19:26] Importance of training and support in camp.
[22:17] Choosing faith, finding purpose in life.
[24:41] ADHD brings energy, fun, positivity and love.
[29:57] ADHD: Misconceptions, need for planning around interests.
[31:36] ADHD individuals excel in unique ways, multitasking.
[34:20] Encouraging young perspective, share, love, and connect.
Other Links
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Editing and production by Johan Heinrichs: arkpodcasts.ca
Transcript
What does loving your neighbor actually look like? This
Speaker:is Journey with Care, where curious Canadians get inspired to
Speaker:love others well through real life stories and honest
Speaker:conversations.
Speaker:Welcome to another episode of Journey With Care. We are in the midst of our
Speaker:series, differently wired for community. So we've had
Speaker:several guests on already. And today, we have actually
Speaker:another guest that is also gonna be talking about ADHD, which
Speaker:which we had Marcia talking about. Hers was a little bit more from a
Speaker:teacher female perspective. We wanted to bring on someone else to come
Speaker:from a little bit of a different perspective. We're gonna continue to have conversations around
Speaker:how we are differently wired, whether it be neurodiversities, exceptionalities,
Speaker:or even those dealing with mental health challenges, and how we as the
Speaker:church can thrive together in inclusive communities where we all
Speaker:can contribute and we all can support 1 another. That's really what
Speaker:this series is all about. But before we bring on our guest, I
Speaker:wanted to remind you that we have our Journey with Prayer podcast,
Speaker:which is on a separate podcast feed. You can find it right now on your
Speaker:favorite podcast player. You can check the show notes to get the link there, or
Speaker:you can go to our website journey with care dot ca slash
Speaker:podcast and take these conversations from the head to the heart.
Speaker:We don't just want information. We want transformation. So
Speaker:today, we have a special guest host on.
Speaker:Wendy is taking a break, this week. Tim,
Speaker:who is on our CareImpact team, he's been a host on here before as well,
Speaker:but he's coming back on for this interview because he's actually
Speaker:met our guests. So, Tim, you wanna kinda introduce our guest a little
Speaker:bit and our conversation that we're gonna have today? Sure. Thanks,
Speaker:Johan. William, it's so great to have you, on the
Speaker:podcast. You and I met at the Crandall
Speaker:Camps conference, out here in our neck of the woods in
Speaker:Canada, out in Atlantic Canada, New Brunswick specifically. But you
Speaker:and I are both, from Nova Scotia. Yep. Yeah. Do you wanna tell us a
Speaker:little bit about yourself and why you have joined as a guest on our
Speaker:differently wired for community series? Well,
Speaker:as Johan said, she was just looking for a couple different
Speaker:views on ADHD. Met you at CampCon.
Speaker:We sort of got into a whole conversation about my whole life
Speaker:and how I've managed to grow up to the age of 16
Speaker:with ADHD and how I've managed to cope with this
Speaker:journey and how I've managed to bring God into everything that
Speaker:I've done in my life. After our conversation, you
Speaker:and I hung out for, what was it, maybe 30 minutes at Camps Con. And
Speaker:as soon as I've been doing a a training on trauma care in the
Speaker:camp's context, Wendi you came up after the training, and you said, Tim,
Speaker:like, this this is what people need to hear. This is what I try and
Speaker:share with people. How do we care well for the people around us is kind
Speaker:of how I remember our conversations. And then as you shared your
Speaker:story, which will will let our listeners hear a little bit of it, whatever parts
Speaker:you wanna share. As you shared your story, I thought this is very powerful how
Speaker:you've come to understand what you're carrying. You've helped
Speaker:others around you understand you, and I've even heard,
Speaker:especially in the camp's context, that you reach out and help other people understand
Speaker:how they're differently wired and and how they can, really
Speaker:receive the kind of care that you know you've needed all along. And sometimes you've
Speaker:got and sometimes you haven't. But before I dive in the deep end, can you
Speaker:start by sharing your personal journey with ADHD, and mental
Speaker:health challenges that you faced along the way, would you be able to kind of
Speaker:give us a little bit of a a journey? As a
Speaker:kid, I've always had it in me, always
Speaker:been there, but it was around the age of 8 9 that I actually was
Speaker:clinically diagnosed with it in school. I remember it being
Speaker:very, very difficult in schools to learn
Speaker:and do anything because as a child, the ADHD was
Speaker:always so bad that I couldn't even sit in my seat
Speaker:correctly. I had to be moving. I had to be doing
Speaker:something. It was very, very hard for me to focus on
Speaker:what I was trying to learn in class because there's
Speaker:just so much going on around you in a classroom
Speaker:that nobody else ever sees. The normal person can
Speaker:look up at a board and just figure
Speaker:out what's going on and be like, hey. This is now my memory. What
Speaker:I have found with me personally is that if you sit me down
Speaker:at a table and try and make me stare at a thing and you're
Speaker:trying to teach me simple basic math, 1 +1equals2,
Speaker:I have found that my brain will decide to take that and
Speaker:put it into so many steps that I'm no longer able to
Speaker:figure out how to do it because my brain has just over
Speaker:proportionized, if you wanna say it like that,
Speaker:everything that is going on. And, like
Speaker:I said, sitting down at a table is difficult because the normal person can stare
Speaker:at a whiteboard and listen. While I'm sitting there, I'm
Speaker:realizing the 1 guy is tapping his pen in a certain
Speaker:pattern order while the squirrel's running outside of the Wendi,
Speaker:and the teacher's doing something funny with its foot. And by the time I realized
Speaker:that, hey, I have to be paying attention to the whiteboard, it's like, hey,
Speaker:class is over. Very, very difficult for me to be
Speaker:able to just do that kind of focusing part, which
Speaker:can vary in different people, especially children. I
Speaker:happen to struggle with relationships, friendships, and
Speaker:all around the focusing part. Driving, when
Speaker:I was diagnosed, doctors actually said that
Speaker:I would probably have to be put on medication to ever be able to
Speaker:drive. That was a very, very difficult
Speaker:thing to hear because I had never been on medication before. I still have not
Speaker:been on medication, and I am thinking about it. It is a
Speaker:personal decision whether or not you wanna take medication. Not against
Speaker:the idea of it, but I've never tried it before. I've just
Speaker:found that I've learned ways to cope with
Speaker:my kind of living at this point, I guess. So what
Speaker:are some of those ways that you've coped? Do you have some strategies that you've
Speaker:implemented to be able to do some of these things that the doctors say you
Speaker:wouldn't be able to do without medication? With the driving part
Speaker:of this, it would be focusing on
Speaker:the road. Now as I said with the classroom situation,
Speaker:an ADHD brain is wired so that every
Speaker:single thing can be noticed all in 1 big ball.
Speaker:Like, my brain has 200 separate
Speaker:roads that are all interchanging, trying to get
Speaker:past each other, but they're all trying to get to the same spot at the
Speaker:same time. So somewhere in there, you know 2 of
Speaker:those cars are just gonna collide, go off the rails.
Speaker:That kind of collision can be I forgot to put on a
Speaker:blinker. And it just takes time
Speaker:because my brain has a hard time focusing on multiple
Speaker:things at 1 time. For instance, my mother, who
Speaker:is 1 of my biggest supporters ever, love her so much, has figured
Speaker:out ways to get around my ADHD.
Speaker:1 of them being is that she will never give me
Speaker:multiple things to do. She will never be, like,
Speaker:sweep the floor, do the laundry, do the dishes, then go clean the
Speaker:bathroom. She will do that in a way that she'll be, like,
Speaker:alright. First, what I want you to do is I want you to grab
Speaker:the room and sweep the floor. Leave it there.
Speaker:When I am done that, then she would go,
Speaker:alright. Now I want you to do this. I want
Speaker:you to do this next because, personally, in my journey, I
Speaker:have found that it's hard for me to multitask. Multitasking
Speaker:is a very, very difficult thing. Like, I was talking about,
Speaker:for instance, right now, I am learning algebra.
Speaker:Not fun. With algebra, you have to know so
Speaker:many certain steps and how to do a question,
Speaker:and that is, like, 1 of the main things I struggle with, being able
Speaker:to keep order in my brain. That's why I like
Speaker:having schedule. That's why I like knowing what's going
Speaker:on next so I can prepare and be able
Speaker:to plan my body to know what is going to be happening, how
Speaker:I need to behave. You have an incredible amount of
Speaker:insight into what you need, and you have that
Speaker:teammate, your mom, that's been so influential on this
Speaker:journey. When was the, kind of the first moment in
Speaker:your life that you realized that you had ADHD, and how did that affect you
Speaker:just going back in your story a little bit? The first
Speaker:time I would say I ever really started
Speaker:figuring out that I had ADHD was school.
Speaker:Now at the time, I knew I had it. I knew
Speaker:that I was diagnosed with it clinically, but I had no idea what
Speaker:it was until teachers started saying,
Speaker:hey. Have you ever tried a special ed class?
Speaker:Have you ever tried going in a separate room by yourself where there's no
Speaker:distractions, where there's no nothing, and you can just sit down and focus?
Speaker:I was offered it, and I was like, I don't need that. And then they
Speaker:were like, we're gonna let you try it. I will never forget the
Speaker:day that they brought me into a room, and I was like, man,
Speaker:it is crazily different how much
Speaker:easier it is to focus in a room with no
Speaker:distractions. And there was always, like, the
Speaker:special chairs, the special fidgets that they were always like, do you
Speaker:wanna try this while you do your work? And it was always like, no. I
Speaker:don't need it. But then I started I started
Speaker:opening up to the options of, like, even a simple
Speaker:swivel chair. Just something that can
Speaker:keep your body moving while you focus. Because I
Speaker:have had so many days in school
Speaker:that I was sat down in a desk and didn't learn
Speaker:anything. But as soon as you take me out of that setting
Speaker:and you put me in a environment where
Speaker:I feel like I am not distracted, I
Speaker:have 1 on 1 help. It really
Speaker:makes a difference in the way you think about it.
Speaker:That's really helpful to get your perspective and to hear that there were people that
Speaker:were able to see your challenges and journey with you.
Speaker:William, when you shared your story with me the first time, you were sharing
Speaker:the connection between this journey that you were on with
Speaker:ADHD, the realization with the,
Speaker:you know, doctor saying, hey. This is what it is, and kinda how that
Speaker:affected you. And then and then journeying from there, you've shared a little
Speaker:bit of the connection that you've seen between
Speaker:ADHD and your experience of it and your mental health. Do you wanna share a
Speaker:little bit about that? The way I see it is
Speaker:I have undiagnosed anxiety. It's not
Speaker:diagnosed by doctors, but I have had panic
Speaker:episodes. I have had 2 hour long panic
Speaker:episodes where it feels like just
Speaker:a war going on sides your head between
Speaker:ADHD and anxiety because anxiety, I
Speaker:have found in me is like stay home, lay down in
Speaker:bed. You don't wanna do anything. You don't wanna go out. But then
Speaker:you have the ADHD side that is like, go
Speaker:outside. Get this done. You need to do this now, right
Speaker:now. And it's like they just don't
Speaker:ever find the right socket to sit into each other and
Speaker:try and work with each other. It's 1 of the things I'm
Speaker:still struggling as a teenager to learn how to manage
Speaker:and cope with anxiety and
Speaker:ADHD just trying to always bang
Speaker:heads with each other. And there is a
Speaker:couple of ways I've learned to deal with it. I always
Speaker:try at least once a week, if not more,
Speaker:to just sit down and do nothing. It
Speaker:is crazy what that will do for you. And I'm not,
Speaker:like, talking, do nothing, like, play a
Speaker:video game, read a book. I literally
Speaker:mean just sit down and do
Speaker:nothing. I know that a lot of people
Speaker:probably don't have the time to do that, but if you can make time to
Speaker:just sit down in your bed, have a quick prayer to god,
Speaker:be like, hey, man. This is what's going on through my week. This
Speaker:is how I've tried to deal with it
Speaker:and try and be able to have that 1 on
Speaker:1 connection with God in a way
Speaker:that is pure and holy of all kind of
Speaker:outside distractions because that is a time that
Speaker:I like to try, and I will admit reading is very
Speaker:difficult for me because I find it very, very boring. So
Speaker:reading my bible and praying have always been a difficult thing for
Speaker:me, but I really do try to
Speaker:set apart a time that it is just
Speaker:me and him. Because with these 2
Speaker:things clashing, you're always like, when's it gonna end? When's
Speaker:the next thing gonna happen? When's the next attack gonna start? When am
Speaker:I gonna crash from ADHD? But if you
Speaker:just take that minute and you just sit down
Speaker:and you reflect on what you have
Speaker:done that week, and you give yourself
Speaker:mercy for any kind of bad things you've done that week, I
Speaker:swear, it goes the longest way.
Speaker:That's incredible, William. It feels like you're you're speaking to
Speaker:me and to our audience about spiritual practices,
Speaker:silence, and solitude, being by yourself, and Sabbath
Speaker:where doing nothing is actually doing something. I I think this is absolutely
Speaker:brilliant that you found these as coping strategies for the
Speaker:anxiety and ADHD that you're saying do this sort of
Speaker:tussle in your head. Right? And and I love that you've had people in
Speaker:your life that have journeyed with you and supporting you. And do you feel that
Speaker:some of those relationships have played into you discovering these coping mechanisms as well
Speaker:as, discovering the challenges that you had? Yeah. I
Speaker:would say that I have a best friend. His name's Josiah,
Speaker:and he is literally, like, the main person I can
Speaker:trust with just about anything I you can think
Speaker:of. And if I ever have a problem,
Speaker:he's the person I go to. That is a suggestion
Speaker:for not only people with ADHD, anxiety,
Speaker:any kind of mental disorder you may have.
Speaker:Always have somebody. Always
Speaker:have a place that you feel safe
Speaker:to be yourself. Always have a person
Speaker:to be able to say, I feel safe to
Speaker:be around you in being myself.
Speaker:Because if you do not have that person and you are living your
Speaker:life in a way that just feels like
Speaker:a lie, then not only
Speaker:will anxiety get worse, you
Speaker:may start to come up with other symptoms like
Speaker:depression and things that you don't want
Speaker:because you just can't be yourself. I
Speaker:have found it so beneficial to know
Speaker:that there is someone in my corner that
Speaker:whenever anything happens, that they will be
Speaker:there for me. And it is such a relief of the
Speaker:mind knowing that even when
Speaker:your anxiety is flaring up and you're going through
Speaker:episodes and impressions at an
Speaker:all time high, and you can just be able to
Speaker:go on your phone and just know that
Speaker:there is someone that you can talk to,
Speaker:someone that is willing to sit down and listen to you.
Speaker:Can you think of any specific moments or times
Speaker:where you had that person to sit down with
Speaker:and it's been a big help? Like, can you think of any examples?
Speaker:Yes. I can. Last year at
Speaker:camp, I had 1 of the biggest anxiety
Speaker:attacks I've ever had. It was 2
Speaker:hours 30 minutes along. I
Speaker:will never forget it. It felt like I was dying.
Speaker:Just like all of the specialists and everybody I've
Speaker:heard talk about it, it really does feel like you're dying.
Speaker:Josiah, my best friend, we work at this summer camp together.
Speaker:And it was a very long night, and I was trying to
Speaker:find my director. And out of
Speaker:nowhere, I just felt it inside of me.
Speaker:And if you've had anxiety attacks in episodes, you know the
Speaker:feeling of dread that comes over you when
Speaker:you know it's gonna happen. You you feel your adrenaline just start
Speaker:hoarsing through your veins, and you're like, I know this is about to
Speaker:happen. I need to sit down. I need to find that person.
Speaker:And it was Josiah
Speaker:that sat down with me and
Speaker:was honestly the reason that that panic attack did not go on for 3
Speaker:plus hours. It was so beneficial
Speaker:that he was there, and I'm so glad to say that I had him in
Speaker:my corner just like I wish upon everybody else to be
Speaker:able to say, I have someone in my corner
Speaker:that I can trust in any moment
Speaker:of any feeling. That's incredible. Thank you for
Speaker:sharing that story, William. I know you shared it with me and with
Speaker:Johan asking, was there a time? I am so
Speaker:appreciating that that's the story you chose to tell. And, yeah,
Speaker:you'd you'd shared that you'd made a call and and you were waiting
Speaker:for, you know, your your person, and,
Speaker:and then your friend was there for you, which was awesome. It was my
Speaker:mother who I called for. I sat in the room for us all the 10
Speaker:minutes on the phone with my mother sitting there panicking.
Speaker:Thank the Lord in so many ways that she
Speaker:had my director's phone number because nobody
Speaker:knew where I was. I ran away and I hid.
Speaker:And my mother had our director who
Speaker:was trained in this kind of thing, who was
Speaker:trained in how to deal with somebody having a panic attack.
Speaker:And I thank the lord all the time that how that
Speaker:worked out because it could have gone so much worse if nobody would have found
Speaker:me. And that's beautiful that somebody in the camp context
Speaker:had that training, that capacity. And when I was hearing
Speaker:you share, I was thinking how powerful it is that you're in a
Speaker:camp context and you're able to offer your gift and how important it is. You
Speaker:and I were discussing a little bit for camp teens, for any kind of team
Speaker:to be equipped. And that's 1 of the reasons we're having this podcast to allow
Speaker:more people to think about, am I equipped to care for those around me or
Speaker:for those who are carrying challenges, who are differently wired? Who are those
Speaker:people? I I love how you've kind of pushed that point home as who is
Speaker:your person, and are are you keeping them near you? Are you keeping them
Speaker:on on speed dial? I guess that's an old fashioned thing. But right there on
Speaker:your cell phone, you know, that that ability to just hit their number and call
Speaker:them when you need them. So pivot a tiny bit just because
Speaker:you've already taken us into the camp context. You've been involved in volunteering it
Speaker:with Camp Work in Atlantic Canada for a little while now. What inspired
Speaker:you to start, and what's that experience been like for you? It
Speaker:has been very, very beneficial because
Speaker:I am working in a place that I feel like I am
Speaker:loved, that I feel like I am safe, that I feel like I can be
Speaker:me working with my best friends. It's really 1
Speaker:of the best decisions I've ever made. But there were
Speaker:steps before this decision, and I was nervous to
Speaker:take this job because this was the
Speaker:year that my father had
Speaker:passed away in a tragic Bodex in 2020.
Speaker:Chief William Salas out at sea, December
Speaker:15th. And I'm so thankful I was in
Speaker:homeschooling for that because we took, honestly, a solid 3
Speaker:months off after it. But it made me
Speaker:realize that life can
Speaker:change in literally a blink of an eye
Speaker:without notice. It's sad and tragic,
Speaker:but anything can happen. And people say, live in the
Speaker:moment. Live in the moment. And I truly do believe
Speaker:that you should live in the moment. Make every
Speaker:second matter because you do not know when God is calling you
Speaker:home. It really made me reflect on my
Speaker:relationship with God because I was I was
Speaker:angry. I will admit I was very angry that
Speaker:God had taken someone from me that I finally just started to get
Speaker:to know again because my father was never really in my life as a child.
Speaker:I just started to really gain a connection with him.
Speaker:And I'll never forget the day that I went out in my
Speaker:shed, and I I yelled at god. I
Speaker:was angry, and that is alright because
Speaker:everybody in this world is going to go through times
Speaker:in their lives when they are doubting god. I don't
Speaker:think you, Tim, or you, Johan, can think of
Speaker:anybody that has never been angry
Speaker:or had some kind of doubt. Is god really
Speaker:with me on this? Is god really there?
Speaker:And this was definitely my moment of I
Speaker:gotta figure out what's what I'm doing with my life.
Speaker:And I decided after a lot of
Speaker:consideration, prayer, talking to people, and
Speaker:talking to my mother because my mother and my aunt
Speaker:and my grandmother and a lot of people that I know have worked at
Speaker:this summer camp that I'm working at right now. It's almost it's basically
Speaker:a generational thing at this point. And I
Speaker:just remember so much prayer about it,
Speaker:and I could just feel that god was holding
Speaker:me to this place that I I've gone since I
Speaker:was 7 years old. And it is
Speaker:so life changing to just look back and
Speaker:remember the person that I was when I joined this summer camp.
Speaker:I will admit, I believed in God when I first joined the summer
Speaker:camp. I believed that he was real. I believed that he was my god.
Speaker:I asked him for salvation, but I
Speaker:was living a life knowing that I knew God, not that I
Speaker:was with God. And it really
Speaker:took a good year and a half to realize
Speaker:that I am not letting God have full
Speaker:control over my life, that I am
Speaker:keeping to myself that I am
Speaker:not much of a disciple. You can be living with
Speaker:him. That does not mean you are living for him. And
Speaker:when you understand the difference between that, it will change the way
Speaker:you look at it. It really, really will because it did for
Speaker:me. Thank you for sharing. That's a deep, deep
Speaker:part of your journey, William. When we asked, you know, what brought you
Speaker:to camp, who knew it would be such a deep loss, and we
Speaker:agree that with you. We are all on different journeys with God.
Speaker:And and like you said, we all have those moments where
Speaker:where we question him. But being a
Speaker:generational camp worker, Can you identify some of the
Speaker:strengths that you bring to the table when you go to camp? Well, it
Speaker:all depends how you look at it, I've seen. Like,
Speaker:I I notice when I'm doing something wrong and when I'm doing something right.
Speaker:But some of the benefits that I love to say that
Speaker:I bring to the table, I have come to find that,
Speaker:yes, I may be disorganized and I may need a schedule,
Speaker:but ADHD brings out so much energy,
Speaker:fun, positive, loving attitude that
Speaker:I have learned as my gifts from god
Speaker:to be able to convey with the kids.
Speaker:Like, I've seen a lot of leaders there not be
Speaker:able to do some of the activities that I can do. For instance, we
Speaker:do a thing called field game. I have seen staff
Speaker:members after around because they're all teenagers. They're
Speaker:like, I'm bored. I wanna sit down. And I've
Speaker:seen them go 10 minutes and then sit down and just watch.
Speaker:Me, I have enough energy to run around with them
Speaker:for an entire hour to be able to give them
Speaker:a memory of camp, to be able to bring
Speaker:them back so they can learn more
Speaker:about who has saved them,
Speaker:who should have all reign over their lives.
Speaker:And, yes, they may be a bit young at this point. But like I
Speaker:said earlier, it's sad, but we never know when our time
Speaker:ends. So we must, as disciples of God,
Speaker:make every moment count. So your
Speaker:energy that you bring, that energy that keeps you spinning and
Speaker:makes it challenging for you and sometimes causes you to face anxiety
Speaker:is the same energy that actually brings the kids to life and helps
Speaker:them dial in. Very interesting. Uh-huh. Yeah. And I I
Speaker:love that, like, you're sharing those practices and the people that
Speaker:have helped you, really dial in and and journey with what you're
Speaker:carrying. Now you're you're doing that for the kids and not in spite of your
Speaker:challenges, but actually incorporating the strengths. And I love that
Speaker:this series is called differently wired. It's not about, this
Speaker:simply being a subtraction, but it's an incredible thing. And I I love that you're
Speaker:able to see that, William, that you actually bring this as a gift. Do you
Speaker:have a specific story or or positive interaction where you've seen that happen
Speaker:or or where you've interacted with a camper or a staff in a way that's
Speaker:helped them understand what you're helping our listeners understand right
Speaker:now? I remember it was a little
Speaker:boy. I can't remember his name. God bless his heart. He was 1 of my
Speaker:favorite kids at camp. I'll be honest. I don't think he was
Speaker:diagnosed with it. There was nothing in his record when he came out of the
Speaker:cabin saying that he had it. But I remember him just
Speaker:always being like, what are we doing next? What are we
Speaker:doing next? I wanna be prepared. I wanna know what's going on. I never said
Speaker:this to him personally, but I was like, this kid acts a
Speaker:lot like me. And I'll never forget 1 night. We were
Speaker:in the cabin. It was bedtime. It was brush your teeth,
Speaker:And we were all eating snack, and
Speaker:I walked over out to him because I wanted I wanted to test something.
Speaker:And I asked him a certain series of questions. I was like it was just
Speaker:like it was just a checklist. I was like, have you done this? Have you
Speaker:done this? Have you done this? Have you done this? And I did
Speaker:it for 4 nights. And first, I would
Speaker:ask him, do you have you brushed your teeth? Have you changed into your your
Speaker:pj's? Do you know where all of your stuff is?
Speaker:Do you know what you're gonna wear tomorrow? And he would go, yep.
Speaker:Yep. Yep. No. In every single
Speaker:night, it was a different thing that he missed. Like,
Speaker:1 night, it would be he forgot to brush his teeth. This night,
Speaker:he was supposed to have a shower. He didn't have a shower, so on so
Speaker:forth. And I'll never forget. It was it
Speaker:was around lunchtime, And he walks over to me, and
Speaker:he goes, so what are we eating for lunch? Well, I
Speaker:can't tell you that. It'd be a surprise. And he goes,
Speaker:well, I like to know what I'm eating so I can plan out what
Speaker:I can eat on it and how I'm gonna eat it and what I'm gonna
Speaker:put on it. And I'm like, you're doing a
Speaker:lot of planning for a child. This is impressive. And he
Speaker:goes, yeah. I normally do this. And I was like, yep.
Speaker:You probably have ADHD. I
Speaker:didn't say that to him. I never said that to his parent, but
Speaker:it's 1 interaction with a child that I will personally
Speaker:never forget. That's beautiful, William, what you bring into
Speaker:connection with others. Before we get to the end
Speaker:of our conversation, it's been powerful hearing
Speaker:how you have been able to understand yourself and bring your
Speaker:gifts, your strengths, and support others, and how others have been
Speaker:there to support you, in coping with the challenges that you
Speaker:have, especially your friend and your mom. And do you find
Speaker:that there are some common misunderstandings about ADHD and
Speaker:mental health challenges that you've encountered, perhaps
Speaker:individuals that don't get what you're journeying
Speaker:with, are there some common misunderstandings that you could share with our
Speaker:audience? With ADHD,
Speaker:please do not assume that we are lazy.
Speaker:That is the most common misconception
Speaker:that people with ADHD have been known for.
Speaker:Because if we're not interested in what you're
Speaker:saying, especially from a child's standpoint, we
Speaker:are not going to care. We
Speaker:are already 3 steps ahead what we're gonna do
Speaker:after this. What are we gonna do with our
Speaker:thumbs while we're listening to you speak gibberish? We're already 3
Speaker:steps ahead of what you're talking about because we don't
Speaker:care. In saying that, if you can find a way,
Speaker:if you are dealing with a child that is yours or somebody else's that is
Speaker:struggling with ADHD, if you can plan
Speaker:around something that they're interested in that moment
Speaker:in time like, me, personally, I'm a really,
Speaker:really big fan of fishing. I love fishing. It's, like, 1 of my biggest passions.
Speaker:If you can plan a lesson
Speaker:around fishing like, when I was a child, if you
Speaker:would have worded a math question, 1 +1equalsblank,
Speaker:I wouldn't have cared. I would be like, I
Speaker:guess maybe 2. But if you would have put it, this
Speaker:fisherman caught 1 fish and this fisherman
Speaker:caught 1 fish, you take both of those fish and put them
Speaker:together, How many fish do you have? 2. 2. 2. 2.
Speaker:2. And like I've said before, some kids are different.
Speaker:Some kids can sit down and do this kind of stuff, and they can
Speaker:multitask. And it's really about
Speaker:learning how the person or the
Speaker:child with ADHD how can you
Speaker:find that their brain is differently wired?
Speaker:How can you find their little sync?
Speaker:Because I have found with every ADHD person, they each have
Speaker:their own little thing that they shine in and that they are
Speaker:horrible at. Me, personally, I'm horrible at
Speaker:focusing in relationships, but I excel
Speaker:in the energy department, in the being able to go all
Speaker:day department Well, somebody else with ADHD
Speaker:have to crash every 30 minutes, but can keep
Speaker:so planned. It's crazy. Like, I've
Speaker:seen people with ADHD have their entire
Speaker:week planned, start to finish, what they're gonna
Speaker:do each exact moment. And I'm like,
Speaker:that's crazy. What are you doing? Because I don't
Speaker:I don't get the idea of a super long schedule. So what I
Speaker:get from that is while differently wired, you're not so
Speaker:different than the rest of us because we all have things that we bring to
Speaker:the table and things that we're not so good at. Is there anything else that
Speaker:you'd like to share with our listeners that
Speaker:is something you really that that's burning on your heart that you really want
Speaker:them to know before we close out this interview here? Have
Speaker:grace with them. Have patience.
Speaker:Because a person with ADHD is not going to be able to
Speaker:do things as quickly as you unless they are hardwired to
Speaker:do that. If you mess up, give
Speaker:yourself grace. Just stop for
Speaker:a second. Have a quick prayer. Give
Speaker:myself grace. It's alright.
Speaker:Oh, I think this is a great word to end our episode today on,
Speaker:William, giving grace to ourselves, giving grace to the other,
Speaker:especially perhaps when they're differently wired than us. William, it's been such
Speaker:a pleasure to hear more of your story today, and so
Speaker:honored that you would share it in a way that many others can
Speaker:engage and hear what it's like
Speaker:to journey with being differently wired in the way that you are,
Speaker:and not simply as challenge, although you've shared with us what the challenges are,
Speaker:but also in the gift and the strength that it is. Thank you so much
Speaker:for sharing your story. And, we're really excited
Speaker:that you have chosen to take this little journey with us today in conversation. Thank
Speaker:you, William. Had a very, very lovely time talking about it.
Speaker:It's great to get a young person's perspective for sure. Thanks again for
Speaker:joining us. Listeners, again, make sure you're sharing the
Speaker:podcast with your friends, especially this series. We believe these conversations
Speaker:are so important to help us love 1 another better and care for our
Speaker:neighbors. Thank you for joining another
Speaker:conversation on Journey with Care, where we inspire
Speaker:curious Canadians on their path of faith and living life with
Speaker:purpose in community. Journey with Care is an initiative of Care
Speaker:Impact, a Canadian charity dedicated to connecting and equipping the
Speaker:whole church to journey well in community. You can visit their website
Speaker:at CareImpact. Ca or visit journeywithcare. Ca to get
Speaker:more information on weekly episodes, Journey with Prayer, and details
Speaker:about our upcoming events and meetups. You can also leave us a
Speaker:message, share your thoughts, and connect with like minded individuals
Speaker:who are on their own journeys of faith and purpose. Thank you for
Speaker:sharing this podcast and helping these stories reach the community. Together,
Speaker:we can explore ways to journey in a good way. And always
Speaker:remember to stay curious.
