Second Thoughts | Why We Can’t Stop Hustling
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Description
The Cost of Indifference Series: Episode 2
Previous episode with Zach Manntai: https://player.captivate.fm/episode/2a660b83-77b0-4d59-acbe-47733f414617
Do you ever feel like you're endlessly hustling without knowing why?
Wendi Park and Johan Heinrichs delve into the intersection of productivity and life's mission, especially after Wendi's contemplative trip to the Cayman Islands. They tackle the struggle of disconnecting from busyness and the importance of establishing personal rhythms and boundaries. Emphasizing community support, they highlight the necessity of saying no and creating space for deeper relationships amid life's demands.
Time Stamps
[00:00] Rushed Escape to Relaxation
[04:30] Balancing Work, Rest, and Creativity
[07:43] Critique of Strict Boundaries
[12:16] Digital Age Accelerating Life's Pace
[14:43] Prioritizing Rest and Self-Care
[18:01] Cultivating Genuine Accountability
[21:02] Finding Connection Amidst Busy Schedules
[25:36] Overcoming Spiritual Bypassing in Churches
[27:13] Care Lingo Spiritual Bypassing
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Transcript
When people always talk about rhythms, I feel it's a bit of Christianese
Speaker:rhetoric here, and I don't get it. Can I be that honest? I've been a
Speaker:Christian all my life, born and raised. I'm not sure I get what
Speaker:rhythm means. What does it mean to you? Because it means a lot to a
Speaker:lot of people. But, I mean, you're not a musician, so.
Speaker:I don't have rhythm. That's why.
Speaker:This is Journey with Care, a podcast by Care Impact, where
Speaker:curious Canadians find inspiration to love others well through real
Speaker:life stories and honest conversations. Conversations.
Speaker:Have we mistaken productivity for purpose? Maybe the real work
Speaker:isn't in doing more, but in learning how to stop.
Speaker:Hey, this is our first second thoughts episode.
Speaker:Wendy, so what are we doing here? Like, why is
Speaker:this a little bit different than our interview episodes? Well,
Speaker:we wanted some time to reflect on some really good nuggets that
Speaker:we discussed last week. And. And I think there's a lot there that I would
Speaker:love to chat with you. There's some things that have been reoccurring in my mind
Speaker:since our conversation that we want to invite our listeners in.
Speaker:Yeah. And you just got to put some of this into practice by
Speaker:going on a fantastic holiday. Oh, I
Speaker:did. Yeah. We just came back from Cayman Island.
Speaker:Oh, what a treat. We got to visit with some friends and
Speaker:gotta put some practice into what does it mean to rest and get off
Speaker:this crazy schedule we've been on.
Speaker:I think the term you used in our last episode is getting off the hamster
Speaker:wheel. Yeah. And that's the episode that we record with Zach Manti,
Speaker:and that's what we're talking about today. A little bit hijacked by busy, overbooked, and
Speaker:under connected. So, Wendy, did you get off your
Speaker:hamster wheel on this trip? Zach gave us a challenge to go on
Speaker:a walk and don't listen to anything, stay disconnected, and
Speaker:just listen and hear the things around you sort of thing.
Speaker:Well, I'll be real with you. After we
Speaker:recorded that, I was basically going, going, going. If anything, I
Speaker:sped up to slow down because anybody out there knows how
Speaker:much work it is to go on holidays, especially when you're leaving kids or other
Speaker:responsibilities at work behind. So I basically ran onto the
Speaker:tarmac, packing my bags right before we had to
Speaker:leave. I sat down, buckled in, and you know. You know that feeling
Speaker:when you're like you've checked in, you've gone through security, you're sitting
Speaker:in your spot and you're just leaving the tarmac,
Speaker:the wheels are just coming off the ground, it feels
Speaker:like heaven. So I will say that
Speaker:at that moment, I detached from this world, figuratively and
Speaker:literally. And I had a really good time, but
Speaker:my mind still kept going. I was still thinking of projects and my
Speaker:kids and this, that and the other thing. I was still texting some things just
Speaker:so that I could unwind. It took a few days, I'm not gonna lie.
Speaker:And I think that's one of the challenges that we've talked about even in the
Speaker:past, is sometimes we're at our best and most
Speaker:productive when we're on those holidays. I know, like when we were
Speaker:on winter holidays, we were still texting back and forth
Speaker:these ideas because I don't know about you, but I can't sleep at night when
Speaker:I have this idea, even if it's work related and I want to do
Speaker:something about it or I'm going to forget it or I'm going to lose passion
Speaker:for it. And I want to say it when I'm. When it's fresh and at
Speaker:its best. Right? Well, and that's just it, Johan. Like, we have a small
Speaker:but mighty team and we quit our jobs to do this
Speaker:because we're passionate about care, impact and the purposes
Speaker:of equipping the church and helping communities thrive
Speaker:and flourish and care for each other. So when we go on
Speaker:holidays and when we're called into this, it's like, I
Speaker:know we don't have that sense of shoulding into work. Like, we
Speaker:do clearly give ourselves permission to rest and
Speaker:Sabbath and take a break. But honestly, a bunch of
Speaker:innovators on holidays, my goodness. Our creativity ramped up.
Speaker:Our signal feeds were like, hey, look at this idea. And I just
Speaker:had this vision for this and that and we were just. It was kind of
Speaker:fun and refreshing. That's to me is like doing
Speaker:a puzzle by the fireside, just ideating of what
Speaker:could be. But then you get those that are considered non
Speaker:creatives, those are the ones texting you, saying you're supposed to be on holidays. Stop
Speaker:thinking about work. Right? Boundaries are like, ah, don't rain on my
Speaker:parade, don't snow on my Christmas.
Speaker:But I mean, Zach seemed to have like, he talked about rhythms a
Speaker:lot in his episode, how Sabbath should be a rhythm of life and how
Speaker:he says no to things. And he's very tight with his schedule. And there's a
Speaker:lot of aspects to that that I really like and are good for me.
Speaker:But sometimes there's that. There's that little bit of flexibility too.
Speaker:It's like, I want rest, but I Need that rest to be
Speaker:creative so that I can work. And it kind of intertwines. I
Speaker:like to mix the two far too often, probably at the detriment
Speaker:sometimes of my family and wife are saying, why don't you stop working? It's like,
Speaker:well, my mind's actually always working. This is just kind of.
Speaker:This is what I do. Yeah. And I think there's different
Speaker:forms of rest. There's one like laying on the
Speaker:couch and sleeping on a Sunday afternoon. And that's
Speaker:okay. I'm not a napper myself, but I don't live off a lot of
Speaker:sleep. Like I. Biologically, I have generations that we
Speaker:are high octane and that's how we thrive. But we do
Speaker:rest in conversations around the table, going
Speaker:for walks, doing things creative,
Speaker:imagining things together and designing things. Like
Speaker:there is a sense of rest. And I'm not trying to like bypass the idea,
Speaker:Wende, you're just trying. You're a workaholic and you're trying to justify
Speaker:that next sip of drink. Right, I get it.
Speaker:And there is that too. But personality wise,
Speaker:I think we have to look at how has God created us in the image
Speaker:of God? And what does rest look like for us? And to be
Speaker:honest, I'm going to be very honest with you, Johan. When people always talk about
Speaker:rhythms, I feel it's a bit of Christianese rhetoric here. And I
Speaker:don't get it. Can I be that honest? I. I've been a Christian all my
Speaker:life, born and raised. I'm not sure I get what
Speaker:rhythm means. What does it mean to you? Because it means a lot to a
Speaker:lot of people. But I mean, you're not a musician. So
Speaker:I don't have rhythm. That's why. Ouch.
Speaker:Yes, I get it. I mean, I am a musician, so I understand
Speaker:rhythms. So teach me, understand the neat. Like Zach even mentioned
Speaker:Salah. So that rest in the middle of a psalm. Right.
Speaker:You have the rhythms of Sabbath and rest, and that's
Speaker:all part of life. And that's kind of the rhythm of life going in and
Speaker:out, breathing in, breathing out. And I understood a lot of that.
Speaker:And it. Okay, I don't always act upon that. We're not
Speaker:harping on Zach at all because he has so many good things to say. Oh,
Speaker:absolutely. And man, I walked away from that conversation and I was
Speaker:jealous of those connections that he made with other people because he
Speaker:was able to say no and have those rhythms. It's like, man, I want to
Speaker:make connections with people at a deeper level. And he's Found a way to do
Speaker:that. And for me, I'm like, I want to find a way to do that
Speaker:myself. Yeah. I really loved his example in the cul de
Speaker:sac of where he took time to bring out his coffee machine
Speaker:and it became something that the community longed for. They came
Speaker:out very unstructured time, unhurried
Speaker:time. And so in that light, and thank you for
Speaker:educating me, the non musician. I get it, and
Speaker:I resonate with that. I don't push back on the idea of it, but I
Speaker:just don't have any rhythm. I'm a Mennonite offbeat. I can't even
Speaker:dance. I guess where I get
Speaker:uneasy with people's kind of strict, almost
Speaker:sacred sense of saying no to things, if I'm
Speaker:honest, is that sometimes we've blocked out the other
Speaker:at the detriment of those that don't have the privilege of saying
Speaker:no or yes to certain things. They are in a predicament where they
Speaker:just need the support of community. And yet who am I to
Speaker:say no all the time? I get that I can't help
Speaker:everybody, but we've compartmentalized a lot. Like,
Speaker:nope, this is my volunteer time. This is my church time. This
Speaker:is my family time. And we've sort of made
Speaker:it idolatry, these different compartments. And if you look at it,
Speaker:by definition, that's secularism. And I think the church has
Speaker:sometimes endorsed secularism, compartmentalize of this and that.
Speaker:And we've celebrated saying no more than we've celebrated the
Speaker:sacrifice and suffering and presence and
Speaker:learning to trust God for that rhythm. Now I understand
Speaker:it better. Thank you. To breathe in when
Speaker:I take in kids. And I don't know if I have margin, but God
Speaker:has clearly interrupted my schedule and really put a spoke into
Speaker:that hamster wheel I was on and halted that for something that
Speaker:I didn't have time for. God has given me breath in
Speaker:that time. And it's not a permission to be unfaithful
Speaker:or uncaring. Does that make sense? Yeah, I think so.
Speaker:And like you said how hard it is to say no.
Speaker:Zach talked about how saying no to things so that you can have deeper
Speaker:connection with people around you. But the thing is, sometimes
Speaker:those things on our calendar, those things that demand our attention, are
Speaker:things that will give us connection with other people. Like, there's
Speaker:things that. There's people at church that want to do stuff and you want to
Speaker:have connection with them, and there's family events, and you want to
Speaker:have connection there. But there's only so many hours in your
Speaker:Schedule. So you need to say no to those things which give connection. So there's
Speaker:a balance there. Trying to figure that out. Yeah. I've been teaching
Speaker:my kids and now my grandkids, we have this thing going, actually. My dad taught
Speaker:me, how do you say no to drugs? And then they shout out.
Speaker:And I did. As a child, it's like, no. They'll say, how
Speaker:do you say no to drugs? No. But we could say that. How do you
Speaker:say no to programs? How do you say no to the expectations
Speaker:and the adoration of others? No. Easier said than
Speaker:done. And there I would get on the no
Speaker:bandwagon 100%. I say yes far too
Speaker:easy. Just because of the expectations and not necessarily out
Speaker:of calling or out of connectedness, but out of
Speaker:obligation. And I wish I could
Speaker:declutter. And sometimes I do. I'm
Speaker:getting strategies even in my calendars, how to declutter. So I
Speaker:create margin and space to say yes to the things that I'm actually
Speaker:called to. And not feeling bad about it.
Speaker:Yeah. And actually we put a poll on our Care Impact
Speaker:Facebook group page on. On Facebook.
Speaker:And the question was, what's the biggest reason you stay busy? And the
Speaker:options were too much to do, not enough time. The second one was
Speaker:hard to say no. Third one, I feel more productive when I'm
Speaker:busy. Fourth was, it's just a habit. I don't even think
Speaker:about it. And the last one is, I don't. I'm as
Speaker:balanced as a balance. So we
Speaker:tied with hard to say no. And I feel more
Speaker:productive when I'm busy. And honestly, I think I'm kind of tied myself
Speaker:between those two. I find it hard to say no. And I do feel more
Speaker:productive when I'm busy. And we talked about last week how
Speaker:I wear busy as a badge of honor. Sometimes it's
Speaker:people ask how you're doing. I'll often say, oh, I'm busy.
Speaker:And as if that's a good thing. And I'm really trying to. It's
Speaker:just how we're conditioned. But I really do want to adjust that. And
Speaker:it bothered me that that's what I say. That's my default. I really like
Speaker:how our co worker Tim put it. He's been on the podcast before.
Speaker:He says, instead of talking about how busy you are,
Speaker:it might be full of good things. So then you say, I'm
Speaker:full rather than busy. It's like, oh,
Speaker:I'm full, meaning you're doing meaningful things. You're
Speaker:giving your time, not just to busyness and
Speaker:pointless tasks and I'm a task oriented guy. But I
Speaker:really want my life to be full with the things that are meaningful. Don't you
Speaker:think though that in recent years, in our lifetime, this is aging
Speaker:us a bit already? But it's only accelerated. Like with the
Speaker:instant, like thumb scrolling and the instant
Speaker:ads and the bombardment of media
Speaker:and just the how efficient
Speaker:our phones are in coordinating and communicating with so many
Speaker:people. We are accessible all the time that it's accelerated. Like
Speaker:I find. So I was sitting on the beach just last week,
Speaker:having a good time. I honestly, I went snorkeling. I saw two stingrays
Speaker:and I saw. I swam with a shark, which is kind of freaky, but fun
Speaker:for a prairie girl. And I saw beautiful golden fish. But
Speaker:I come back to the beach and it's so easy to.
Speaker:I couldn't even puzzle without listening to a podcast. And
Speaker:I couldn't just sit there and color or journal without having some
Speaker:music on. Like, it feels like more productive of
Speaker:a time off. I wanted to cram in my, my
Speaker:holidays and do so much and I'm like
Speaker:just sitting in silence is kind of hard.
Speaker:Yeah, that's really hard for me to. I try to go on walks every day
Speaker:because I work in my basement and there's no windows and I would be
Speaker:pretty sad if I didn't get outside. So I try to go on daily walks,
Speaker:but my habit is always to listen to a podcast on my walk. And I
Speaker:kept hearing Zach's voice in the back of my head. You know that listener challenge.
Speaker:Go on a walk. Don't listen to anything but your
Speaker:surroundings. But for part of my walk, I walked by a highway
Speaker:and I don't want to listen to cars zipping by. I want my noise
Speaker:canceling headphones on and I want to listen to something that is going to engage
Speaker:me, that's going to keep me interested in my walk. As
Speaker:if nature itself isn't interesting. So I find that hard.
Speaker:And I really did try to take 20 minutes of one of my
Speaker:walks this week. Good for you. Do nothing but
Speaker:listen. But all I can hear are the thoughts in my head and those ideas
Speaker:and. Which might not be a bad thing. Yeah. And I think we
Speaker:just kind of have to lean into the moment and what is God asking of
Speaker:us? Sometimes he wants us quiet. Sometimes we are filled by music and
Speaker:other ways that God speaks through those. Those moments. Sometimes
Speaker:it's through a conversation. Will we stop having a conversation? Sometimes it's those very
Speaker:interruptions of stopping to talk to a neighbor that has Been life
Speaker:giving. Yeah. And Zach personally, like I've known him for several years
Speaker:now and he will personally keep me accountable sometimes. He knows that I
Speaker:am a busy person and he is too. So it's like right back at
Speaker:him. But he will like make sure that I and keep me
Speaker:accountable to like slow down and not do it all and
Speaker:say, are you taking care of self? So that self exploitation that he
Speaker:mentioned was something that has been a reoccurring message
Speaker:that him and I have been keeping each other accountable. Are
Speaker:we giving of ourselves to the detriment
Speaker:of ourselves, even though it is good? And can we
Speaker:not be always in those places of being so required that
Speaker:our absence is actually a gift too? Right. Where not everything,
Speaker:our family, our ministry, our church, our community is reliant on
Speaker:an individual that when Jesus got away,
Speaker:society didn't collapse. He was refilled and he
Speaker:refueled and was able to be present in those times.
Speaker:He was called to be present in community. And so that's something
Speaker:that I'm personally challenged to do. Not
Speaker:feels too important on my schedule. Yeah,
Speaker:I tell this to my daughter all the time because she is busy. Like she's
Speaker:taken all AP classes in grade 11, she's involved in two
Speaker:youth groups and she wants to do all these other
Speaker:extracurricular things, yfc, working out and all these things.
Speaker:And I tell her it's okay to say no to
Speaker:good things. Yeah, I have to keep telling her that. And when
Speaker:I tell her, I tell that to myself because I know I have trouble with
Speaker:that too. But she still doesn't say no because they're all good things. And
Speaker:she's like, but look at the opportunities this is going to get me in the
Speaker:years to come. And I'm just going to hustle hard in this
Speaker:time of my life so that the payback in the years to come are going
Speaker:to be greater. That's the way she's thinking. Well, and maybe it's also a
Speaker:personality thing too. Some people are more self preservation
Speaker:focused of like I only have this much reserve, so I'm gonna, I'm. They're
Speaker:much more disciplined and they have that edge of being able to tell they
Speaker:know what's on their dashboard, how much they can handle. I don't have a
Speaker:dashboard. I don't have self preservation.
Speaker:The things I say yes to. Like now I'm getting better at it and I,
Speaker:I'm knowing to say no things. I'm really not called to the doily club.
Speaker:Okay. So don't ask me for doilies and don't ask me to bring home baked
Speaker:cookies to class. I'm just going to say no. I'm good at saying that. But
Speaker:the things I do say yes to, Johan, are things I'm really passionate about.
Speaker:And I'm a passionate person for a lot of things. And it's there
Speaker:that I'm like, ooh, I don't know when I've taken on too much
Speaker:until I've taken on too much. Do you get into those habits
Speaker:or what are the things that you say yes to because you want to, but
Speaker:then you're like, oops, I over committed. I'm a
Speaker:very regimented schedule guy. I mean, like Zach,
Speaker:he has a schedule too, so if it doesn't fit in a schedule, he just
Speaker:says no to it. I tend to make less
Speaker:room for some other things on my schedule so I can say yes to more
Speaker:things, which isn't a healthy balance and something I need
Speaker:to work on. But you talked about accountability.
Speaker:Is that what it takes for people like us that like to say
Speaker:yes to things? Does it require that spouse or that
Speaker:person in our life that keeps us accountable to our schedule? I
Speaker:don't have a good rhythm in having someone keep me accountable. My wife will check
Speaker:up on me. Sometimes, but, yeah, not in like a programmatic way. I
Speaker:think so often we want to franchise a methodology and write a book
Speaker:and say, this is how you do it. And I'm like, there's so many ways
Speaker:to go around it. But I think what you're getting at is
Speaker:the need for community. Accountability is just a fancy word of
Speaker:being present with others and them having permission to speak into
Speaker:your life. And I think we can only be accountable to the level that we're
Speaker:vulnerable. I can be accountable to a certain level, but not let
Speaker:people access the inner beings of my heart. And I have to give
Speaker:people access to be part of my community at a deep way, not
Speaker:just in a superficial way, and. And inviting people to
Speaker:have that permission in my life to. To say, wendy, you've taken on too
Speaker:much, or I'm gonna take this off your plate right now.
Speaker:Or like our friends, we're gonna send you to this island right now
Speaker:because you need a break. They weren't wrong, and they did it in a
Speaker:loving way. And they received us with hospitality in a loving way.
Speaker:And I received that because they're like, you have taken on a lot
Speaker:and we want you to come away. It wasn't. If you're gonna take a
Speaker:break or go on a holiday, they're like, you're going on a
Speaker:holiday, and we're gonna help you get there. Those are the people in our
Speaker:community. Not everybody's gonna send you to an island, but those are the people in
Speaker:our community that can speak into our life and say, wende, come
Speaker:sit down. Take a deep breath. I need those people in my
Speaker:life. Sounds like I can use some more friends too.
Speaker:But I think we actually have to pursue relationships. And this is the
Speaker:thing about being busy. We can be busy with
Speaker:doing things together, with, at the end of the day, not really
Speaker:knowing each other. We haven't given of ourself to each other, and I
Speaker:think it's a wasted opportunity, really. So let's say you and I
Speaker:are excited about a church thing that's happening, and we
Speaker:both said yes. It both fits in our giftings, and we
Speaker:genuinely feel called to it. Great. So we go at it with
Speaker:all our might. We're doing this thing at church,
Speaker:and at the end of the day, we have a product. We. We have an
Speaker:outcome. Yay. But if we have not done it in
Speaker:relationship, in community, with each other, we have
Speaker:gypped ourselves. I haven't gotten to know you, you haven't gotten to know
Speaker:me. We haven't been able to speak into each other. We haven't been able to
Speaker:edify each other. We've just created a product, and I think that's a
Speaker:warning to the church or to people that love to be busy
Speaker:in the process. Are you also building relationships
Speaker:with those you're serving with? And particularly if
Speaker:we're serving many people in the community, are we with the
Speaker:people? I was talking to a pastor once, and they're like, yeah, we have a
Speaker:soup kitchen. But the problem is none of our volunteers actually want to be with
Speaker:the people. It's easier to give a can of soup. And they were being
Speaker:busy, but they weren't being vulnerable with each other. They weren't sitting with
Speaker:people who are actually needing more than that can of soup and that loaf
Speaker:of bread. And so it's how we're
Speaker:busy that will be life giving. Yeah. I think that's almost a good way
Speaker:to wrap it up. Like, even thinking about looking at your
Speaker:schedule and the things that you're busy with, are there opportunities
Speaker:for you to make a connection with the people in those
Speaker:activities? We're in the season of life where we're
Speaker:glorified taxi drivers for our kids. They need
Speaker:rides everywhere every night, and it
Speaker:becomes a chore, right? Like, yeah. But if you think of it as a
Speaker:chore, you're not going to enjoy driving your kids and you're going to miss it
Speaker:on that connection time. It's like, wow, I actually get to sit beside my
Speaker:daughter for half an hour uninterrupted in the vehicle.
Speaker:So can I use that as a time of connection rather than another chore? It's
Speaker:like, sure, this busy is my schedule, but it's now busied with something
Speaker:I can enjoy and find connection with. I think we need to look for more
Speaker:of those things in our schedule. And I think that'll be actually
Speaker:life giving as well. So it's not always just expending out
Speaker:for that other while we're doing it and we're, we're praying.
Speaker:We're, we're being with other. Like yesterday I was
Speaker:driving one of my kids to school. Same thing. Did I have time for it?
Speaker:Not really, but it was a time of connection like you said. And while I
Speaker:was waiting for them to come out, I was able to pray for them. And
Speaker:it was life giving. I felt enriched. I felt so grateful for those
Speaker:times that we could have missed just being
Speaker:busy. Let's end it there and we'll give our listeners
Speaker:the challenge this week. Look for one of those times
Speaker:where you feel it's busy in your schedule, but you
Speaker:can make a personal connection with someone and make it life giving to you rather
Speaker:than life sucking. Okay,
Speaker:so if today's conversation stirred something in you or if you have thoughts on
Speaker:Zach's episode, hey, we'd love to hear Reflections. Share your thoughts with us on the
Speaker:Care Impact podcast group on Facebook or you can reach out to us directly.
Speaker:You can check the show notes for our email address or ways to connect with
Speaker:us. We'd love to hear from you and journey with you. But now it's time
Speaker:for. This is the
Speaker:part of the episode where we take the mystery out of the insider language. You
Speaker:might hear from us or in caring communities. And today the
Speaker:phrase is spiritual bypassing.
Speaker:Johan, if you were hearing the term spiritual bypassing for the
Speaker:first time, what might you think it means?
Speaker:I think I have two definitions I would give it. I
Speaker:think the first one, spiritual bypassing. You know when you try to
Speaker:fix a broken appliance by praying over it instead of calling a
Speaker:repairman. Now, I hate to
Speaker:admit it, but I've probably done this before to vehicles and
Speaker:appliances. That's why I'm laughing, because I've laid hands on my
Speaker:computer on vehicles. It sometimes works. But,
Speaker:but wow, this is cute. But yeah, I think,
Speaker:yeah, if there's any other evangelicals listening that have done something like
Speaker:this. Let us know. And let us know over
Speaker:it. Yeah. Care Impact podcast group. We'd love to hear
Speaker:what happened. Okay, my second definition,
Speaker:it's what happens when you skip church, but tell everyone that you were there
Speaker:in spirit. Wow.
Speaker:Have you done that before? Me? Never. No,
Speaker:I'm always there. Yeah, you're always there. Yeah, of course.
Speaker:Okay, what does spiritual bypassing really mean? Okay, so let's go
Speaker:for the real definition. For some of you, this might be familiar, but it is
Speaker:actually something that is actually very prevalent all
Speaker:around us here in Canada. It happens when we
Speaker:use spiritual beliefs or practices to avoid dealing with
Speaker:emotional pain or unresolved trauma or tough life
Speaker:situations. It might sound something like, just have more faith or
Speaker:everything happens for a reason or just
Speaker:pray about it. When there's actually tangible
Speaker:ways of responding to real human needs, it doesn't mean that we
Speaker:compartmentalize and we, like, we leave God out of it. It's just
Speaker:like, okay, really, are we going to really
Speaker:bypass this situation? Rather than going into hard emotions
Speaker:or difficult situations, there's often an
Speaker:intolerance within Christian circles of
Speaker:discomfort, and so we want to quickly come up with a
Speaker:cliche type of response to
Speaker:real difficult situations. So it's kind of like sticking
Speaker:your head in the sand like an ostrich? Yeah, yeah, a little bit like
Speaker:that. Yeah. And the church is really good at it, and it actually prevents
Speaker:us from learning. It actually prevents the church from having a growth
Speaker:mindset, individuals from having a growth mindset, saying, you know what? Yes,
Speaker:Jesus is good. Yes. All these Bible verses that come to mind to
Speaker:respond to it are good and right.
Speaker:Yet how can we sit in the discomfort? How can
Speaker:we learn and grow? And what does God mean and how does God want me
Speaker:to respond in these situations? It causes us to want to be
Speaker:learn trauma care or understand poverty better rather
Speaker:than come up with just these tropes that make us feel good
Speaker:so that we can go on to the next subject. And when we're talking about
Speaker:caring for others, those people that are in hard places, children
Speaker:or elderly, or those in our community, spiritual bypassing
Speaker:can look a lot like just wanting to give really
Speaker:cute answers of, like, we're just going to love them with the love of Jesus.
Speaker:We're not going to like, be equipped or actually hear from their
Speaker:perspective or be aware of what they're coming into our
Speaker:situations, but we're just going to love them with Jesus. And yes, we want to
Speaker:love them with Jesus, but sometimes we need to understand how Jesus would love
Speaker:the individual going through those difficulties, but we don't want to feel those things.
Speaker:We don't want to see those hard, hard situations. In all
Speaker:honesty, we want to quickly get through it. So we'll quickly just like
Speaker:give them a band aid Care and not necessarily what they're
Speaker:looking for. We get the dopamine hit, but the person receiving our
Speaker:career when we spiritually bypass
Speaker:feels bypassed with some
Speaker:pat answers and Christianese. All right, Spiritual
Speaker:bypassing. Well, listeners, if you got a term you'd like us to
Speaker:decode, maybe you heard us say it, or maybe you've heard it
Speaker:said in these circles that we're in, send it our way. We'd love to feature
Speaker:it on a future episode and you can join the podcast group again,
Speaker:Care Impact Podcast Group. And maybe you can give us
Speaker:definitions to some future words that we'll have on there. Anyway,
Speaker:that's all for now. Until next week. Always remember to stay
Speaker:curious. Thank you for joining us on Journey with
Speaker:Care. To get more information on weekly episodes, upcoming
Speaker:opportunities, or to connect with our community, visit
Speaker:JourneyWithCare CA or find care Impact on Facebook and
Speaker:Instagram. Or just check the show notes for these links and all the
Speaker:links related to this episode. Share your thoughts, leave us a
Speaker:message, and be part of a network of individuals journeying in faith and
Speaker:purpose. Together, let's discover how we can make a meaningful
Speaker:impact.
Speaker:Holy.
