Backstage Pass to Trauma Care | Stacey on Presence and Persistence

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Welcome to a special edition of Journey with Care, part of our summer Speedo

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series. These are quick, honest conversations designed for long

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walks, slow mornings, or stolen moments of peace in the middle of a

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busy season. Today's episode takes a slight detour from our

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usual format. I'm handing the mic over to Tim. He's our lead trauma

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care trainer at Care Impact. But more than that, Tim brings deep

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compassion, lived experience, and a gift for creating space for

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real conversation. Tim sits down with someone he knows not just as

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a colleague, but as a fellow traveler on the road to learning how to care

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well in the midst of real life messiness. Her name is

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Stacy. She's a mom, an educational assistant, and a

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quietly courageous presence here in the Winnipeg community.

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Without giving away too much, I'll just say this, Stacy's story is

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not about having all the answers, it's about showing up anyway.

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Let's listen in.

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Stacy, it's so great to have you on the podcast with us this morning. And

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I have the privilege of knowing you and a little bit about your life because

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we work in team together, but we do want our listeners to get to know

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you a tiny bit. So first, would you just tell us what gave you a

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spark of joy this weekend? This weekend? Oh, I had a

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very spontaneous organic invitation. My my family,

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they were just last minute invited over to some dear friends of ours, to

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their house. And we just brought some subway over, and we just hung out in

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their backyard. And our dogs played together, and the kids all hung out. And it

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was just really beautiful. It was the best way to end the weekend. So that

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definitely sparked joy for me this weekend. So good. And this time of

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year, we're in spring right now. Our listeners are probably already in

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summer when they're hearing this. But, would you give our listeners also

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just a a little snapshot of who you are, a little bit about yourself,

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where you live, things you love to do, and what your day to day life

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looks like. Sure. Yes. Well, I am wife and

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mom of two teenagers. I live in Winnipeg,

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Manitoba, Canada. I'm originally from Alberta, and my

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family moved out here when my son was just six weeks old. So I've now

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been here for fifteen years, and I love Winnipeg. It has definitely

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become home for me. I work as a, educational

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assistant in the inner city of Winnipeg, specifically

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with a student with disabilities. And so, yes, just the nature

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of the other students that I work with, it's a very high needs area of

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Winnipeg. And so it's it's a very rewarding place to be in.

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I I really enjoy it. Beautiful. Lots of challenge, lots of reward is, I

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guess, how it goes, isn't it? Yes. Absolutely. Beautiful. Can you share a

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little bit about your journey in understanding trauma? What first opened your eyes

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to to learning more? I think it was a a marriage

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of trying to piece together my own

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history and people that I've loved along the way that I've

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known about their stories and the trauma they've walked through and how it's

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impacted them. And of course, when you're in a relationship

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with people, friendships with people who have trauma, you're affected

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too. That's that's kinda just the reality. And it was also

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maybe the more pressing need was when I began working in the

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job that I am in the location that I am. I very quickly

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realized that a lot of the behavioral issues that were coming up,

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a lot of the challenges, I didn't really know

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much about trauma, but I just kinda had a gut feeling. You know, this sort

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of feels like it's more than just kids choosing to be

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bad. Right? And that's sometimes the lens that, it's easy to

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look through maybe, if you don't understand how complex

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trauma can be. And so as I as I started to

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realize the reality and and the fact that my job,

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I I work very one on one with these kids in particular.

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I realized I needed to learn more and and just become more educated

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just for myself personally, but also for my

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daily interactions with these kids that I work with. So

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several people in my life had just kind of casually mentioned

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Care Impact along the way. And I hadn't really thought too much about it in

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those moments. But then I was just searching one

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day, Googling, you know, just different training opportunities.

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And Care Impact came up and I remembered, you know,

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some conversations I'd had in the past. The light bulb went on, and I

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realized, oh, they offer this trauma care training. I think that actually sounds

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like exactly what I need. And so that's how I ended up

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discovering Care Impact's trauma care training. And, yeah,

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it was kind of word-of-mouth, but very indirectly, I

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guess. I love how you describe that. A marriage kind of of recognizing

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what you're carrying yourself and then also what so many people in your life are

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carrying, not just in your workplace, although certainly there, but also just in your

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friends and connections. And there's a lot of trauma, isn't there? And

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so you took some training, and then you came back around and took some more

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training. And now you're on the training team, and you've recently just gone through our

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master class. As you think about that learning journey that

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you've been on, through Care Impact, and beyond,

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has there been a moment where something you've learned or realized help you approach

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a situation or relationship differently? Yes.

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A %. There have been many

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opportunities to put what I've been learning into practice,

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whether as a parent. I have teenagers, and and it's a

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process of relearning what parenting looks like in this

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season. Learning to put active listening

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into practice, helping coregulate

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the kids that I'm with, whether at home or at

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school, has been, I think, one of the greatest tools actually is just

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learning how much my presence makes a

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difference for them and helps them to regulate their own emotions.

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I used to have a problem. I probably still

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do trying to fix things very quickly so that we could just stop those

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big emotions from happening because they made me very uncomfortable, and I had a hard

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time with my own big emotions. And so it was a struggle as

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a parent for sure. And learning that letting those

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emotions come out and actually just sitting and being present with

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that person while they feel those emotions, helping

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them articulate them and just not leaving their side,

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but just allowing them to go through the process of of,

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you know, just processing, and helping them

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get to the other side. That's been, I think, probably one of the biggest

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tools that I found so effective. Just

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being present, coregulation, you know, connecting

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before I correct them is huge. It's it's just been

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a very life changing, approach to being with other

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people in general, but certainly as a parent and certainly as a

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NEA. I love that, Stacy. Thank you. The power of presence

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and, as you said at the beginning, being present to yourself,

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and what's going on inside you so that you can be present and let

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those emotions come out. That's one of the hardest things for me too. I know.

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Well, if someone, Stacy, is like was like you

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were, some years ago, beginning to explore this idea of trauma and

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trauma care, what encouragement would you offer them? What are some words that you might

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be able to give? I would say that

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it's not a course you can take

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and check off a box and say that you now know about trauma.

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I would say that even though I've taken the trauma care master

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course twice now, I was actually surprised that

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it actually impacted me just as much the second time as it did the

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first time. And that I still had things that I needed to sort

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through and and there was still things happening in

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around me that required me to spend the

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time thinking about trauma and how it affected other

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people. And I don't know, Tim, it's just not something that you can

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learn in a textbook and say that you know it. You know, it it's

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something that you might actually have to review many, many times

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and and just keep it fresh in your head, you know. And that's what

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I really love about being part of Care Impact is that it keeps it

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fresh in my head. I hear what different team

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members and trainers say and we will talk

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about experiences, you know, that come from different places,

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whether people are in foster care, like dealing with the

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foster care system or from teaching backgrounds or

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parenting. And I guess trauma care is maybe just

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an ongoing conversation that needs to happen and an

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ongoing posture of continually learning. I feel like I'm

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gonna probably have to take the trauma care master class, like, maybe 10

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times before it really sinks in. I might, you know, I might just

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have to keep showing up because I feel truly that every time I do show

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up, I'm given something new to learn and to put into

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practice. And it's just it takes a lot of time

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to, you know, to relearn how to approach

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difficult situations with myself and with others, and

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just being patient in that process. That's what I would say is just be

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patient and don't feel the pressure to have it be

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an expert at it right away. It's just gonna take a lot of time. Thank

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you for that encouragement, Stacy. Patience for the long game

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because this is a long game, and don't do it alone is what I hear

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from you. Mhmm. Get that equipping and be in that community that can continually

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equip you because we're all in the in the journey anyways,

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carrying hard things or carrying others who are carrying hard things. And Yeah. The

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better we can come alongside each other and the more cooking we can have, the

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better. Isn't it? Beautiful. Thank you, Stacy. It's just such a delight to have

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you, for this little moment on our podcast. And bless you. I know in

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this moment, you're heading back to work. And so, yeah, may

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you be equipped with the patience and grace and everything you need, and,

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have a wonderful rest of your day. Thank you for coming on the podcast. Wonderful.

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Thank you so much for having me. It truly is a pleasure to talk about

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this. I really do appreciate the opportunity. Thank you, Tim.

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Thank you for joining us on Journey with Care. To get more information on

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weekly episodes, upcoming opportunities, or to connect with our

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community, visit journeywithcare.ca, or find Care Impact

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on Facebook and Instagram. Or just check the show notes for these

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links and all the links related to this episode. Share your

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thoughts, leave us a message, and be part of a network of individuals journeying

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in faith and purpose. Together, let's discover how we can make a

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meaningful impact.