Messy Advice... | Am I Failing If I Pull Back?

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This one's for anyone who's ever told someone, I'm good, while quietly

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googling burnout symptoms at 2AM. Burnout doesn't always

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look like a breakdown, sometimes it looks like crying in a Costco

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parking lot because they're at a rotisserie chicken and that was your

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one win for the day. You sign the volunteer form. By week three,

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you're running the entire Sunday team you weren't even part of and hiding

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behind a potted plant to avoid being asked again. Welcome to Messy Advice

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for People Who Care, a summer series from Journey with Care for people

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who care deeply, try their best, and sometimes wonder if

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burnout is just their personality now. We're talking about

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caregiving, boundaries, burnout, and the not so clear moments of loving

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others well, minus the formulas. This is Johan on

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the edge of helpful, slightly crispy around the edges, but

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still showing up. Sometimes the

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hardest thing to admit is that we've hit a wall, especially when

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people count on us to keep showing up. Today's question gets

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into that exact tension. I used to be someone

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people can count on, but lately, I just don't

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have it in me. Am I failing if I pull back?

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That's not just a fair question. It's one I think more people are

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quietly carrying than we realize. It hits on that deep

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unspoken fear. What if I'm not okay and people still need me to

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be? According to a 2022 Indeed Canada

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report, 53 of Canadian workers said they were burned

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out, up from forty percent just two years earlier.

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So if you're feeling emotionally spent, you're not dramatic.

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You're trending, which is probably the least comforting way of saying

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you're not alone. But stats don't tell you what it feels like at

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30AM, checking your messages with a pit in your stomach

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and nothing left in the tank. Let's talk about that.

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Now I love the heart behind showing up, but

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somewhere along the line, we turned it into a competitive sport, and the

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gold medal goes whoever cancels rest the fastest in the name of being

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available. Imagine this. You're two hours into your

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workday, three tabs deep into unread emails, and someone texts,

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hey. Can you help me out with something small? You're exhausted.

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But you type, sure. I'm happy to help because the

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guilt hits faster than the boundary. And suddenly, you're in full

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triage mode, overfunctioning like your spiritual worth depends on

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it. Not because you want to, but because saying no

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feels like a betrayal. Consider this. Let's

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get biblical. Biblical. In first

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Kings 19, Elijah has just come off a massive spiritual

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wind. Fire from heaven, the prophets of Baal

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exposed, people falling on their knees in worship.

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By all accounts, it's a career defining moment for a prophet.

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And then he crashes, and he crashes

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hard. He runs into the wilderness, lies down under a

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bush, and basically tells God, I've had enough.

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I'm done. He's not dramatic. He's depleted.

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And what does God do? Not a lecture. Not a

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motivational speech. No. Let's talk about your lack

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in faith. Instead, God sends an angel,

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and God sends an angel of snacks. And he says,

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get up and eat. And then Elijah falls asleep again,

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so the angel comes back with more food. It's like divine

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DoorDash with a side of try again later. God

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doesn't rush Elijah. He doesn't push him past his limits.

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He gives him space, silence, rest,

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and then, only then, he whispers. Not in fire,

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not in wind, not in earthquakes, but in

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stillness. This isn't just about burnout. It's about how

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god responds to our breaking point with care,

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with gentleness, with a kind of kindness that doesn't require

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us to prove we're still useful. Sometimes the most

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spiritual thing you can do is take a nap and eat something

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warm. So maybe the most faithful thing you could do this

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week is nap. Not out of laziness, but a way

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of saying, I trust that everything doesn't depend on me.

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Burnout doesn't mean that you've failed. It means that you've been carrying more than you

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were meant to. Maybe it's time to set something down, not

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everything, just something. Start there. And, hey,

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if that landed somewhere in your chest, you're not alone. A lot of us are

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trying to serve from empty wells and we don't have to.

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And if you wanna join a conversation with like minded people, join us on the

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Care Impact podcast group on Facebook. And until next time,

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keep loving, keep laughing, and if your search history includes

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burnout symptoms or how to fake a sabbatical, take

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that as your sign not to fake it, actually rest,

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and always remember to stay curious.