Backstage Pass to Trauma Care | Understanding Trauma, Transforming Care With Danielle
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Description
What if understanding trauma began with empathy instead of assumptions?
In this insightful conversation, Danielle from Ottawa opens up about her evolving perspective on trauma, both personally and through her work with Safe Families Canada. Guided by CareImpact’s Tim Smith, Danielle highlights why compassionate support, self-reflection, and positive experiences are so crucial for families in crisis. Her story offers practical encouragement and perspective for anyone exploring trauma care or striving to walk alongside others with greater empathy.
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Transcript
Welcome to this special summer Speedos episode of Journey with Care.
Speaker:Today, we're featuring Danielle from Ottawa who recently participated in our
Speaker:trauma care master class. In this conversation, we have a guest host,
Speaker:Tim, who is our lead trauma care trainer, invites Danielle to
Speaker:share some of her personal journey, what first sparked her interest in
Speaker:understanding trauma, the impact it's had on her work with Safe Families
Speaker:Canada, and what she took away from the course. So whether you're new to the
Speaker:ideas of trauma care or have some experience, this episode
Speaker:offers relatable insights on empathy, growth, and supporting
Speaker:others through difficult times. So enjoy this conversation with Tim
Speaker:and Danielle.
Speaker:Let's start. Danielle, it's so great to have you with us from
Speaker:Ottawa. What's something simple that brought you some joy
Speaker:this week? I did a little training with my dog
Speaker:last night, which was nice. We have a puppy who brings
Speaker:us joy, but she also brings us some, like, maybe
Speaker:annoyances every now and again because of some behaviors. So that was
Speaker:fun. I we enjoyed that. Yeah. Oh, that's fun. You're finding joy and
Speaker:hope in in things moving forward even if at the moment they're a bit of
Speaker:a mess. Exactly. Well, before we jump into your
Speaker:story, could you share a little bit about, yourself?
Speaker:So I live in Ottawa on the East End. We came to
Speaker:Ottawa based on a job for my husband.
Speaker:He's a pastor here in the city. Over the years,
Speaker:I've played a number of different roles in between church
Speaker:ministry and kinda social services work
Speaker:in one way or another in the helping professions. So currently,
Speaker:over the last two years, I've been working with Safe
Speaker:Families Canada, here in the Ottawa chapter. My current role
Speaker:is family coach supervisor. So I oversee
Speaker:our, volunteers, work on training with our volunteers,
Speaker:and work on matching the families that we
Speaker:support with volunteers that we get to match
Speaker:with them for a circle of support. Beautiful, diverse work you've been involved in there
Speaker:in Ottawa. Can you share a little bit about your journey in understanding
Speaker:trauma? What first opened your heart to wanting to know
Speaker:more? So it's interesting. When I think about my journey
Speaker:of understanding trauma, I,
Speaker:myself, had experienced some trauma, in my
Speaker:own background and childhood as many many people
Speaker:have. But the first time kind of the word came up for
Speaker:me, it was somebody from my previous church
Speaker:who basically said, oh my goodness, this terrible thing has happened, and
Speaker:it's actually trauma. And and I remember at that time, it's
Speaker:years ago now, but I remember at that time thinking, does she think she
Speaker:has PTSD? And thinking, like, that's just for
Speaker:people who are in the army and serving in war. And
Speaker:because that was that was really the understanding that I had and
Speaker:many people around me had in terms of what
Speaker:what trauma is and that it's associated with these
Speaker:major disasters, worldwide disasters.
Speaker:And so that was kind of the first, experience that
Speaker:I had of using that word trauma for kinda
Speaker:everyday people. And, unfortunately, at the time, I
Speaker:remember I was a little bit judgmental thinking, like, how is that
Speaker:possible that she would place herself in that kind of a a
Speaker:scenario as if she's, you know, had this major thing
Speaker:happen. Of course, over the years, I've understood more
Speaker:and more about trauma and come to repent
Speaker:for thinking that way about this woman who actually
Speaker:had her own situation, traumatic situation.
Speaker:And at the time, I'm sure I made
Speaker:much too light of it compared to what was actually going on,
Speaker:and just out of a lack of understanding. And
Speaker:so I would say since joining, say,
Speaker:families, I have wanted to understand
Speaker:trauma a lot better. Just with many of the families that we
Speaker:work with, I would say most, if not all,
Speaker:have some form of trauma in their background, whether the parents or
Speaker:the children or both. And so it really is
Speaker:my due diligence and absolute,
Speaker:necessity for me to have greater understanding on
Speaker:trauma, on its effects, on how to work
Speaker:with people who have trauma in their lives.
Speaker:And just even having had better understanding for myself
Speaker:and my own previous trauma, getting some therapy over the years has
Speaker:helped me to understand it better. And then
Speaker:working with other people, I really want to have a
Speaker:greater sense of empathy, especially certain
Speaker:behaviors can look like, are you doing that on purpose?
Speaker:Or are you saying what are you saying? Or how you know, so
Speaker:I I don't wanna have that view. I certainly wanna always look
Speaker:at the person from the perspective of how can I best care for them
Speaker:given their scenario? Wow. Thank you for sharing that personal
Speaker:experience. Those are difficult stories to
Speaker:share sometimes in the way that our hearts and our eyes get open to something
Speaker:we didn't see before, but we love, you know, Maya Angelou's quote,
Speaker:when we know better, then we do better. And having that same compassion
Speaker:grace for ourselves is beautiful. I hear you carrying that. As
Speaker:you've shared your your story and how, your heart
Speaker:continues to open in the work that you're doing with Safe Families, could you just
Speaker:very briefly, for any of our listeners who aren't familiar with Safe Families,
Speaker:just describe what Safe Families is and then maybe a little
Speaker:piece on your role just so we can understand
Speaker:clearly what what you're up to in in the way that you use this this
Speaker:understanding where your heart has shifted. Sure. So Safe
Speaker:Families Canada is a national organization here in
Speaker:Canada. Safe Families wraps around families that are going
Speaker:through a crisis for a short term period, but we always
Speaker:seek to wrap around through supports that are relational.
Speaker:So some of the different roles that our volunteers play are
Speaker:they may do a hosting. Host families would have children come
Speaker:to stay at their home, whether for a day hosting or for overnight hostings,
Speaker:while parents are working through a crisis so that they can stabilize their
Speaker:home environment so that children can come back. The goal is
Speaker:always reunification. We have family coaches that work with
Speaker:families, the parents typically, to help them to get to that place
Speaker:of stabilization, moving towards some of those goals, building
Speaker:goals for the parents to work towards so that their home can
Speaker:be more stable, their life can be more stable with their family, with their
Speaker:children, so it's a safe place for them. We also have family
Speaker:friends, volunteers that, come alongside just as
Speaker:you or I would with a friend who's in need,
Speaker:and maybe it's a phone call, a listening ear, somebody to
Speaker:be there as a support network, come by, maybe babysit the
Speaker:kids while mom has an appointment or whatever it might be. And
Speaker:then we have resource friends that come alongside in kind of practical
Speaker:ways. It might be bringing a meal. They might never actually have
Speaker:access to the families themselves. We have a volunteer who makes meals and drops
Speaker:them at our office, and then we bring them to a family in need.
Speaker:It might be people who have specific skills that can
Speaker:help out with, you know, handiwork or helping with
Speaker:taxes or whatever the need might be, just to make sure that families
Speaker:that could be lacking resources in order to provide the best
Speaker:support, that we help with those resources. So it's all really meant to
Speaker:be proactive, preventative, deflecting
Speaker:any need for child welfare just to help with those
Speaker:supports in a natural way, family like supports, before the
Speaker:big need is there for maybe to have children
Speaker:removed or, you know, some very difficult scenario. Thank
Speaker:you. And we're just coming out of a course.
Speaker:You were participating in the trauma care master class with Care Impact recently.
Speaker:Is there something because that's so fresh for you, is something during
Speaker:the course that resonated with you or helped you deepen this learning journey
Speaker:you've been on in understanding trauma and how to care well? Yeah. I
Speaker:think the big thing for me is having greater
Speaker:understanding over development of a child, especially.
Speaker:Like, even when I look at the moms, if they've had, you know, trauma
Speaker:as a small child, and it's affected their development
Speaker:in whatever way, like, that helps me to come
Speaker:alongside with a lot more empathy when I when I go, okay.
Speaker:The brain development, the emotional connection, those
Speaker:bonds, all the things that I might take for granted and go,
Speaker:like, why is this person behaving this way? It
Speaker:seems like such a major response for such a simple thing.
Speaker:But yet, if I have a little bit of understanding for the
Speaker:parents, but also their children who have also had some
Speaker:potentially had some trauma as well, and understanding that
Speaker:reaction a little bit better so that I can come alongside
Speaker:and even train my volunteers to come alongside with that added
Speaker:compassion and empathy. I think that's helped me a lot to keep
Speaker:it at the forefront, understanding that there actually
Speaker:is a difference in the brain and how
Speaker:it's developed. So that part, as well as understanding
Speaker:the benefit of the positive childhood
Speaker:experiences and babyhood experiences. So that's something that
Speaker:really has encouraged me in the work that I do. Because
Speaker:if I can let families know or volunteers know that with what they
Speaker:are doing, by adding those positive
Speaker:experiences and wherever possible just
Speaker:lumping on, you know, love and care and support and
Speaker:positivity that it could actually be changing the
Speaker:trajectory of a child who has had, you know,
Speaker:some pretty adverse things perhaps in their past. And so,
Speaker:yeah, that's a really encouraging like, I remember even in the very
Speaker:beginning of the course, the first couple of weeks are so
Speaker:hard to get through because it's very
Speaker:much the the problem. Right? But we have to understand the
Speaker:problem in order to then be able to move forward and
Speaker:Mhmm. Kinda look at, okay, now how can we counteract
Speaker:that? So I think those positive experiences that we can
Speaker:build into is is a big takeaway for me.
Speaker:Now the course is completed. You've kinda sat in this
Speaker:content afresh and in a deeper way like you're sharing. Has there been a
Speaker:moment maybe recently where you've something you've learned
Speaker:or or realized helped you approach a situation differently?
Speaker:Some little snapshot story for our listeners. Yeah. Like, I
Speaker:think it's still very possible for me
Speaker:to have a knee jerk reaction to and and not usually
Speaker:where it's actually coming out at somebody, but where internally
Speaker:I might have that knee jerk reaction to the way
Speaker:somebody might be presenting some information.
Speaker:Even today, like, I got a text from somebody who's sort
Speaker:of disgruntled about one of the things that has happened with
Speaker:somebody who's completely not related to me, but yet I'm
Speaker:found myself as the middle man in this situation. And my
Speaker:first knee jerk is wanting to just sort of, like, deal with
Speaker:it yourself. I don't wanna do I don't wanna be in the middle of this.
Speaker:I wasn't even in the middle of this. How did I get here? But,
Speaker:again, looking at okay. This is a family that
Speaker:has been going through the ringer and
Speaker:looking at the story rather than looking at this
Speaker:text that comes in with, like, it's on fire,
Speaker:all the things. Mhmm. If I can remember
Speaker:the story, like, what happened that got the
Speaker:person here, then I can certainly
Speaker:respond with the kind of empathy that's needed and the
Speaker:understanding that's needed, and imagining myself in the
Speaker:situation that she and her family have just been through. Mhmm. And how
Speaker:would I respond? What would I be doing? So for me, the big thing
Speaker:of of trauma care is that it's it's
Speaker:building that empathy muscle because
Speaker:it's the only way. Like, black and white if there's no black and white in
Speaker:trauma care, if you'd look at things black and white, it's like, this is what
Speaker:said, therefore, I'm gonna respond like this. But no,
Speaker:it's this is what was said, what's the heart behind it,
Speaker:what's the situation that led to it, and just having a much greater
Speaker:understanding and and compassion in my not only in my response,
Speaker:because I'm pretty good at mustering together the response, but I'm hoping
Speaker:for more and more change in my heart in
Speaker:that initial heart knee jerk reaction. So I think
Speaker:transformation in that way is kinda what I'm seeing coming
Speaker:and hoping for more. That's beautiful. Yeah. We talk in the course
Speaker:about competent compassion, and sometimes we see ourselves growing more in the compassion
Speaker:end and sometimes more in the competent end, and then they really come together
Speaker:in the end. Right? And beautiful. Beautiful to hear you sharing how
Speaker:your heart is shifting. And when you're paying attention to that, you know that there
Speaker:is there's deep work happening. Well, Danielle, thank you so much
Speaker:for sharing your story and, how
Speaker:this learning journey that you have come into starting
Speaker:with that conversation with a friend mentioning the word trauma and you
Speaker:having your own experience and reaction and then, you know, doing that deep
Speaker:work that you're continuing to do. I know this will be an
Speaker:encouragement to the listeners on our podcast. Would you have
Speaker:an encouragement, something for someone who's maybe just beginning
Speaker:to explore trauma care and the importance of trauma care? Just a quick
Speaker:encouragement for them as they're sitting with this idea, should they go forward with
Speaker:it. Yeah. I think it's really important if maybe if you
Speaker:don't come from a trauma experience to
Speaker:really befriend some people that have a maybe a different walk than your
Speaker:own and try to understand, you know, their story a little
Speaker:bit. And I think that's the thing that makes all the difference is
Speaker:understanding where people are coming from, what their
Speaker:background is, and maybe it's different from your own, but that's
Speaker:okay. I think it just helps us to, yeah,
Speaker:understand and have that sensitivity and empathy
Speaker:walking alongside of people. That's beautiful. Well, thank you for that.
Speaker:And I know your story is gonna be an encouragement to many Canadians
Speaker:across our nation who are those neighbors, who have that one friend,
Speaker:who have that person, or maybe even work in organizations like yourself that
Speaker:are continually engaging with lots of folks who might be carrying hard
Speaker:things. So bless you. Thank you for the work you do and really
Speaker:appreciate you and your team there in Ottawa and, across
Speaker:across Canada. Thank you, Tim. Thank you
Speaker:for joining us on Journey with Care. To get more information on weekly
Speaker:episodes, upcoming opportunities, or to connect with our
Speaker:community, visit journeywithcare.ca, or find Care Impact
Speaker:on Facebook and Instagram, or just check the show notes for these
Speaker:links and all the links related to this episode. Share your thoughts,
Speaker:leave us a message, and be part of a network of individuals journeying in
Speaker:faith and purpose. Together, let's discover how we can make a
Speaker:meaningful impact.
