Messy Advice... | For the People Who Rub You the Wrong Way

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This one's for anyone who's ever served faithfully and secretly

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hoped that one person wouldn't show up this week. Let's be

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honest. There's a kind of love that flows easily. It makes you

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feel like a better version of yourself. And then there's the kind that

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leaves you clenching your jaw while quoting scripture in your head like a coping

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mechanism. Loving people who drain, derail, or

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disrupt us isn't just hard, it's humbling. It reveals what

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we expected love to feel like, mutual, comfortable, and satisfying.

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And when it's not, we start asking if it counts. You know

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the feeling. You're running a small group. Someone raises their hand,

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and every part of you braces. It's gonna end in a rant or

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an unsolicited life update. You smile, you nod,

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and you start praying for either divine interruption or a pre trib rapture.

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And this is messy advice for people who care, for anyone who loves others at

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a deep conviction and occasional passive aggression.

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I'm your host, Johan here on the edge of helpful, offering wisdom from

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somewhere between loving your neighbor and secretly muting their texts.

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Today's question is one that we probably wrestle with, but we don't

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like to make public because we're genuinely nice people that love

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everyone. Let's get right into it. There are people in my

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community I genuinely care about, but they're hard to be

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around. They dominate conversations or complain

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constantly or just rub me the wrong way. How do I love

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them without faking it or losing it?

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Okay. So if you've ever debated whether loving your neighbor had a clause

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for personality clashes, this episode is for

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you and definitely one for me. According to a

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2022 Mental Health Research Canada survey, over

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sixty percent of Canadians say they regularly engage in emotional

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labor during everyday interactions, especially with people that they

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find difficult. It turns out that we're a nation of polite

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nodders and internal eye rollers. We're not ignoring

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people. We're editing ourselves to keep the peace,

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which is noble and exhausting. So

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what do you do when someone's draining your energy, but not your love?

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When the care is present, but patience is on a smoke

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break. Okay. We know that there's people that you'd bake a cake

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for, and then people you'd bake a cake just to put something in

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their mouth so that they'll stop talking for a while. Consider this

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scenario. You're in a group conversation, and then that

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one person hijacks it again. They tell a

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story, ignore the room's vibe, and keep going

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long after the wrap up. Energy is settled in. You

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try to stay engaged. You smile. You nod. You

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secretly Google active listening facial expressions. You love

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them. You really do. But loving them has started to feel like low level

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spiritual cardio. Here's another scenario. It's someone in

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your circle who always needs something. Your time, your

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ear, your availability, but they rarely ask how you're

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doing. But you listen anyway. You show up.

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But over time, their presence starts to feel like a withdrawal, and your

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compassion account is running low. And then you feel guilty

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because you're tired of someone God told you to love. Let's

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take a look at what scripture has to say. Let's get

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biblical. Biblical. We're looking at Jesus and

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his disciples out of Mark nine. You see, Jesus'

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own disciples weren't exactly easy. They argued

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about who is the greatest. They misunderstood his mission

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all the time. They fell asleep when he needed them. They

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tried to block children from getting close to him when Jesus

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obviously loved kids. And if they were in a small group, someone would have

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started a do not let Peter talk first policy. I'm sure of

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it. And yet, Jesus doesn't shame them.

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He sits them down. He brings a child right into the center,

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and he says, whoever wants to be first must be the very

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last and a servant of all. He doesn't just correct their

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behavior. He reframes greatness, not as

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power, but as presence, not as status,

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but as service, even when the people around you are wearing you

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down. You see, Jesus didn't require people to be

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easy in order to stay in community with them, and neither should

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we. Let's take a second. Who are the people who feel

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hardest to love in your life right now? Are you showing up for them with

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pressure or with purpose? Because love without

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boundaries becomes burnout. But love with boundaries,

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that's where the spirit breathes. Loving difficult people

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doesn't always make you a spiritual pushover. It makes you a person

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trying to show up sincerely even when it's hard. You're not failing

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just because it's frustrating. You're growing one act at a

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time. So if you've been loving someone who stretches your patience

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more than your heart, keep going. Not because they

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deserve it, but because love can be stubborn too.

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You got a question about caring for difficult people? Maybe you're struggling with

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this and wanna be with a group of like minded individuals asking the same

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questions. Head over to our Care Impact podcast group on Facebook,

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or you can just connect with us on our website at CareImpact.ca. Until next

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time, keep loving, keep laughing. And if you've ever needed

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a deep breath before replying to someone's voice note,

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that counts as spiritual maturity, and always remember

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to stay curious.