Episode 5
The Wait Worth It | Part 2: Bringing Sami Home
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Description
Johan Heinrichs continues his conversation with guest, Kathy Boschmann on her and her husband's international adoption journey. Kathy shares her profound experience about trust in God's timing and faithfulness. She reflects on her family's time in Ethiopia after adopting Sami, embracing his culture and witnessing cultural behaviours. Kathy recount's the heartwarming first meeting with Sami and their experience upon returning home. The conversation highlights the importance of community support during the early months of bringing Sami home.
Time Stamps
(05:44) Ethiopian student becomes part of forever family.
(07:20) Sami joining us felt like a dream.
(12:37) Mother and son bond through singing.
(15:22) Reflecting on trust, faithfulness, and motherhood journey.
(17:12) Experiencing Ethiopian culture
(22:20) God's perfect timing.
(24:14) New parents navigate challenges and support network.
(27:25) Importance of self-care.
Episode Links
Johan's mentioned old podcast episode:
https://journey-with-care.captivate.fm/episode/jwp03e04
Other Links
Join the Sojourner's Discussion Group: https://www.careimpact.ca/group/journey-with-care-podcast/discussion
CareImpact: careimpact.ca
About the CarePortal: careimpact.ca/careportal
DONATE! Help connect and equip more churches across Canada to effectively journey well in community with children and families: careimpact.ca/donate
Email: podcast@careimpact.ca
Editing and production by Johan Heinrichs: arkpodcasts.ca
Transcript
What does loving your neighbor actually look like? This
Speaker:is Journey with Care, where curious Canadians get inspired
Speaker:to love others well through real life stories and honest
Speaker:conversations.
Speaker:Alright. We are back with our 2nd episode with
Speaker:our very own Kathy Boschmann. This is the
Speaker:2nd part of her story. If you have not listened to
Speaker:the first part, I really recommend you listen to that one first because you'll
Speaker:be missing a lot of context and just a fantastic story
Speaker:that's encouraging and uplifting. We talked about the
Speaker:whole process of her and her husband adopting their international
Speaker:child. And that was how many years ago, Kathy? 15.
Speaker:15 years ago. We ended the episode
Speaker:with them getting approved to go get
Speaker:Sammy, and they haven't left yet. And this is where We come
Speaker:in on this episode. So it's pickup of right where
Speaker:we left off, Kathy. You got approved for Sammy. You you have his name
Speaker:in front of you. You know you're going to adopt him, so
Speaker:what's next? Is he gonna be brought to you? Do you need to go pick
Speaker:him up? What what was that process like? There
Speaker:were a few options, but for us, there was no option. We
Speaker:wanted to go and experience Sammy's
Speaker:country, we wanted to experience where he
Speaker:was coming from, the children's home that they were caring for him.
Speaker:There was so much about it that we wanted to be there. There is an
Speaker:option of, you know, zoom in, get the child, and zoom out again
Speaker:without really experiencing that, but we chose to go for almost 2 weeks
Speaker:so that we could appreciate, you know, where he was coming
Speaker:from and, have that That experience with him
Speaker:as well as Heather, what some people refer to as a babymoon
Speaker:instead of a honeymoon, just to have that Time together as a family,
Speaker:and what a better way to start your relationship off than with a holiday.
Speaker:There are some Pieces in there when you go, you do have to
Speaker:get visas for your child to travel because they are still
Speaker:Samu was still an Ethiopian A citizen. He wasn't automatically
Speaker:Canadian citizen. But even though he was already legally
Speaker:our child and had been for 2 or 3 months,
Speaker:That had all happened in Ethiopia with the director of
Speaker:the children's home. She's our power of attorney. She goes to the court case and
Speaker:before the judge and confirms all of that on our
Speaker:behalf, which is such a beautiful gift to
Speaker:families. So we we chose to go.
Speaker:And and there was gonna be a group going in, like, the
Speaker:beginning of the new year. Like, in early January, there was gonna
Speaker:be a The whole group of parents going, but I just remember praying
Speaker:just like, lord, is there any way that we could go
Speaker:earlier? Like, I was happy to travel by ourselves. Like, I didn't feel like I
Speaker:need to be in a group to experience, you know, together with all these other
Speaker:families. I remember just like, Can I ask you, is it
Speaker:okay if I pray and ask you if we can do that early
Speaker:and go? Because when you got Sammy in front of you, he was 3 months
Speaker:old. How much longer did you have to wait when you found out you
Speaker:got to bring him home? Yeah. It was 10 months. 10 months?
Speaker:10 months. So he would have been our Adopted within,
Speaker:I guess, probably within 4 4 or 5 months, but then immigration
Speaker:piece, like, the waiting on immigration. And I think it's even worse now
Speaker:than it was then. Can you tell me about that 10 months? Because
Speaker:I can't imagine, Like, knowing, okay. We have our child.
Speaker:Mhmm. We're gonna be missing months of his development.
Speaker:Mhmm. And what what is he going through? What's happening with him right now. What
Speaker:was that like for you and your husband during that time? It was hard.
Speaker:Like, it's you know, you thought you're being very patient
Speaker:Leading up to there to even having a child placed with you. And
Speaker:I, personally, I felt a grace to wait. I remember
Speaker:My friend at the time who had also recently been through
Speaker:an international adoption, and they Didn't even wait as long
Speaker:as we had to have their child come home. She would kinda
Speaker:shake her head sometimes, like, wow. You know, just your ability to wait and just
Speaker:to recognize All these things need to happen, and
Speaker:recognizing too in even the expense of adopting
Speaker:just like All these people need to be paid. You know? This is their job,
Speaker:and we're not just paying 1,000 of dollars to we're
Speaker:not buying a child. We're paying people to care for him.
Speaker:We're paying people to help us get to
Speaker:achieve That dream to to reach that
Speaker:dream of being a family together. So, yeah, it was it was challenging.
Speaker:I got myself Very busy, you know, volunteering and
Speaker:distracting myself. I think I got a part time job
Speaker:doing something for a new organization in Winnipeg, You know,
Speaker:helping set that up. It was hard, but it's new. It is part of the
Speaker:process. But I think that's why when I was praying saying, god, can I ask
Speaker:you if we can go early? That was sort of me at the end of
Speaker:my my patients. During that 10 months, what was the
Speaker:preparation like for knowing you're gonna bring a child back home?
Speaker:Yeah. So we had baby showers. Each of our families did a
Speaker:little, you know, something for us, and the church had a shower.
Speaker:Well, I mean, house group or I can't remember all those
Speaker:details, but, again, community coming around us and
Speaker:making sure and celebrating with us, really, for the exciting
Speaker:phase that we are moving into. You got to prepare his room and get that
Speaker:already, buy some clothes. Is that Yes. A part of the process? Yeah. All those
Speaker:things. We had personally a beautiful preparation in that. The
Speaker:lord brought a a lovely woman into our lives, an Ethiopian
Speaker:woman who has adopted us as her forever family.
Speaker:And she came as a student, and we got connected to
Speaker:her through one of our friends. And she lived with
Speaker:us actually for I think ended up 3 or 6 months,
Speaker:but she has become to us a real
Speaker:Blessing again. A mutual blessing. More like a
Speaker:little sister to me than I would say, you know, what you've
Speaker:experienced as a a daughter, But we've become
Speaker:her her forever family in her or her Canadian family, she calls
Speaker:us. And so we have had the blessing of learning so much
Speaker:about Ethiopia even in preparation for going and
Speaker:about culture just by relating with her. I'll
Speaker:tell more about that later. But Part of that preparation and understanding the
Speaker:culture and who we're bringing into our family and that we're gonna
Speaker:become a bicultural or a tricultural family
Speaker:In that, Eric and I have different come from different cultural backgrounds
Speaker:as well. And so we've become this multicultural family,
Speaker:which has been Lovely. Beautiful. I love it.
Speaker:Yeah. I'd love to get into the some of the cultural aspects a little
Speaker:bit later. So you guys jump on a plane, You and
Speaker:Eric, both very excited.
Speaker:So where did you go to meet Kathy.
Speaker:And what was it like the 1st time you guys laid eyes on him?
Speaker:It was that moment of a dream coming true
Speaker:when Sammy was placed in our
Speaker:lap, on our couch, and it you know, from the
Speaker:caregiver putting him in our hands, like, I
Speaker:think it's, like, surreal in some ways. Like, we have a video of it, so
Speaker:I know it really happened. But it is, you know,
Speaker:years of longing that whole idea of a dream coming
Speaker:true that it it feels surreal. And we
Speaker:had time to visit and ask questions and whatnot, and then we went out into
Speaker:the yard Just walked around, and Eric singing
Speaker:some childhood German songs to him.
Speaker:Sammy was rather confused. Yeah. Just to be able to point
Speaker:things out to him. He was just 1 year old, really. And then,
Speaker:he actually fell asleep on my shoulder because it was In the afternoon, like
Speaker:nap time. And so that was just so precious, like,
Speaker:so so precious that it's hard to even
Speaker:Describe what that that's I I don't know what it's like to hold your child
Speaker:for the 1st time after they've been born. Maybe you can tell us what that
Speaker:feels like. I can tell you if it feels anything the same. Oh,
Speaker:the first time was a bit hectic for us. There were
Speaker:some complications. My wife didn't even get to hold him. I I got to
Speaker:go into, a waiting area with him, but I don't know if I'll do
Speaker:birth stories on this podcast or not. I think there's a whole
Speaker:podcast out there for birth stories. Probably. Yeah.
Speaker:Have you and Eric been overseas prior to this
Speaker:trip to pick up Sammy? Yes. I had done
Speaker:several over international trips. I was with YWAM
Speaker:in Mexico and Israel In 2001,
Speaker:I had the privilege of going to India for just over a month,
Speaker:and we'd been to Australia and Indonesia together
Speaker:at the end of 2001. It was a very international year. So going
Speaker:to Ethiopia, I would don't think it was
Speaker:as much as of a culture shock as it
Speaker:would have been if we hadn't Had that experience
Speaker:of going to those other countries. How did that experience
Speaker:feel different from Those other trips because the purpose
Speaker:was completely different. Yeah. I wonder if
Speaker:if we hadn't been to those other countries, Perhaps because we were
Speaker:so singular in our focus on meeting our
Speaker:son that the shock of Being
Speaker:in such a foreign place wouldn't have affected us because we were just
Speaker:so so, like I said, singular on meeting him and
Speaker:connecting with him and bringing him home. Yeah. I don't think it had as
Speaker:big an impact as it would have been otherwise.
Speaker:You got there and you met him the next day. How much longer did you
Speaker:guys stick around? We had 12 days there.
Speaker:The 1st day we met him, but but, actually, he stayed the
Speaker:night At the children's home. So it was just, I think,
Speaker:for his sake, just a sort of more gentle. It probably could
Speaker:have been even more gentle for him if he'd you know, we've done that few
Speaker:days in a row, but the next day, we brought him home. So then another
Speaker:11 I guess, another 10 days after that. Alright. So you pick up
Speaker:your child, and You have more than a week out
Speaker:there with a brand new child, not even bringing them home yet, and you're
Speaker:already taking your child on an international trip. So what was that
Speaker:like? How did you guys navigate that? Not having your own space
Speaker:to bring a child into, that would have been challenging. We were prepared
Speaker:for it. So we, you know, had brought along
Speaker:our baby bottles and had all the tips from Other
Speaker:adoptive parents on how to put the powder in the bags and put
Speaker:elastic bands on them so you can go for rides and be prepared.
Speaker:So that was Very helpful just having had other people's
Speaker:experience in our back pocket to to guide us in that. The guesthouse
Speaker:where we stayed was very nice in that it had, Like, we had a
Speaker:room, and we had a little kitchen. And the bathroom, they were all separate. So
Speaker:it felt a little bit more like a an apartment type situation,
Speaker:Which was really, really nice. The one big
Speaker:challenge of the 1st few days with us was
Speaker:that Sammy stopped eating. He refused to eat anything.
Speaker:The shock for him of being taken from home, what
Speaker:he knew as home, was Obviously, very
Speaker:stressful, and that really stressed me out
Speaker:that he wouldn't eat. He did drink his milk. That's what he
Speaker:wanted and understandably. And I still remember
Speaker:when after 3 days, we're at a restaurant
Speaker:and Eric, he was eating his meal, which is very
Speaker:simple food. Sammy, he took food from
Speaker:Eric, and I just remember, like, Just
Speaker:thank you. Like, just being so anxious about him not
Speaker:eating. He connected real right away with us, though, which so So I
Speaker:didn't feel like that he it's not that he was crying or, you know,
Speaker:resistant to us. Actually, we had a very positive
Speaker:experience with him When we did bring him back, I remember the
Speaker:1st night, I just rocked him in my arms and sang to him
Speaker:until he fell asleep. It must have been, like, 45 minutes Just singing
Speaker:worship songs over him, and we sang those songs together
Speaker:probably for 3 or 4 years every night. We always the
Speaker:same songs. So that 1st night, he he let me rock him to
Speaker:sleep. And then the next night, I go to do the same thing, and he
Speaker:kinda turns his head, looks at me, and then he looks at his cribs and
Speaker:sort of Juts' face towards the crib as in,
Speaker:like, lady, can you let me just go to my bed and go to sleep,
Speaker:please? Which is what he was used to. Right?
Speaker:So I just like, talk about good communication. Right? Like, even
Speaker:at 13 months old, he he is very Good at letting me know what
Speaker:he needed, and I was able to just let him do his
Speaker:thing and get to to sleep on his own. But We traveled a lot during
Speaker:those 12 days. We had the opportunity to go
Speaker:to a village called Nazareth, And
Speaker:there was a Canadian orphanage there,
Speaker:and the children all had AIDS and HIV, so they're being
Speaker:cared for. They were Not adoptable to Canadians.
Speaker:There were some Americans who were adopting the children, which was
Speaker:wonderful, But we had that the joy of being able to go to that
Speaker:place, bring some supplies and clothes and whatnot from Winnipeg
Speaker:here to them. So that was really neat experience to be able to
Speaker:go out of town and into the savanna and and experience
Speaker:travel a little bit to one of the lakes and And all of that with
Speaker:Kathy, and it was on that trip was the first time I heard Sammy
Speaker:laugh, really laugh. I Saw a chicken, and
Speaker:I started balking like a chicken, and he just
Speaker:was roaring with laughter. It was wonderful. So, of course, you
Speaker:know, I bucked like a chicken for a long time just to keep hearing that
Speaker:laugh, but it was some beautiful times to connect with him. And he
Speaker:still has a contagious laugh. Yes. Yes. He does.
Speaker:So did you notice any any shifts in your
Speaker:prayer life? What did that look like Even in the 1st
Speaker:week of having Sammy? We were honestly
Speaker:engrossed with Sammy, engrossed in connecting with him.
Speaker:But I do remember a few days in
Speaker:maybe towards the end, I remember going to a cafe. Eric
Speaker:and Kathy stayed back. I don't know if Sammy was napping or whatever and going
Speaker:to a cafe. They have awesome coffee in Ethiopia.
Speaker:It's where it's from. Yeah. Like, Super
Speaker:jolt that every new parent needs. I had this podcast called
Speaker:Awesome Things that I did kind of as an experiment when I was starting out.
Speaker:And I did 1 on coffee, and it talked about Ethiopia. So maybe I'll throw
Speaker:that on as a Yeah. Fun bonus episode on here.
Speaker:I'd like that. Just just a fun thing. Anyway, continue. Yeah.
Speaker:So I'd I'd gone to this cafe, just started
Speaker:journaling, like, just My experience, and I really should have reread
Speaker:it before I came came on today, but
Speaker:I I think just affirming
Speaker:The trust that I had in him to work
Speaker:all things together for good, even though it had been so many
Speaker:years To get to that point, to this place where here I
Speaker:am sitting in my son's birth country,
Speaker:being a parent, Being a mother, which is something I had
Speaker:longed for since high school, and I
Speaker:think a deepening of that trust In his goodness,
Speaker:his trustworthiness, his faithfulness. I'm sure
Speaker:I experienced Many times of like,
Speaker:oh, that's what it means to be adopted in the family of God. You
Speaker:know, there's all though those pieces that That I would have experienced,
Speaker:you know, early on as deepening my understanding of
Speaker:scripture and and what Was meant
Speaker:by those who wrote it in using that as an analogy for our
Speaker:relationship with god. I think The one
Speaker:verse, of course, that maybe hits a lot of
Speaker:adoptive parents is he settles The
Speaker:barren woman at her home is a happy mother of children. That's
Speaker:like my life. It's beautiful.
Speaker:So you guys had an extra time there probably already planned out
Speaker:ahead of time. Were you quite anxious to get home and kinda
Speaker:get life started already, Or were you happy to
Speaker:spend time out there and taking in the culture? Like, was that important to you
Speaker:to even take in as much as of the Ethiopian culture as you can
Speaker:to Even pass on to Sammy so that he knows his
Speaker:origins. Right? Absolutely. That was that was really
Speaker:important to us to experience that, To have that
Speaker:opportunity to to learn as much as we could
Speaker:and be able to understand The
Speaker:amazing culture that he comes from. Yeah. We we did quite a
Speaker:few of the touristy things. Well, the other beautiful thing that we
Speaker:had Was I mentioned in the last
Speaker:conversation we had about our dear friend, Adis, who is from Addis
Speaker:Ababa, and She made sure that we went to see
Speaker:her parents, her family that lives there,
Speaker:and they treated us to a feast. But
Speaker:also even more amazing than that was just having a
Speaker:day with them to experience life
Speaker:In Ethiopia with an Ethiopian family. It was
Speaker:so beautiful just to super relax and just to hang out and
Speaker:See their cat and and to see the compound where our
Speaker:Wendi, Adis, had grown up and the in her her childhood home
Speaker:and meet her parents. And I mean, her sister-in-law did a
Speaker:coffee ceremony for us after the meal, which is if you've
Speaker:no. People have never Experience an Ethiopian coffee
Speaker:ceremony. Like, it's really special just to have
Speaker:that experience and to know that this is A really beautiful
Speaker:part of the culture as well. We ate out a lot, and
Speaker:I even got on stage and did some Ethiopian
Speaker:dancing. Do you have video of that?
Speaker:Yeah. I probably wasn't as good as I thought I was,
Speaker:But it was fun. And something beautiful about the
Speaker:the Ethiopian culture is just their warmth and beauty inside
Speaker:and out. They're just a very Lovely,
Speaker:respectful people that, should be
Speaker:honored. So have you seen some of those
Speaker:I mean, Sammy was really young when you brought him home. When you look at
Speaker:him today, do you see some of those
Speaker:Ethiopian cultural things that he that he's brought with
Speaker:him. I I do see it once in a while. He speaks
Speaker:very quietly. Now I don't know if that is,
Speaker:common. I know our Wendi, Adise, is is quite a quiet person.
Speaker:When we were going through our sort of orientation with
Speaker:adopting from Ethiopia, I remember them mentioning to us
Speaker:that in Ethiopia, Instead of saying yes,
Speaker:sometimes they will blink. So that is
Speaker:a way of of just affirming yes without actually saying the
Speaker:word, And I had forgotten that. And
Speaker:when we arrived in Ethiopia, I remember there is a soldier in
Speaker:the airport with his machine gun. We're kinda
Speaker:looking at him going, like, did we go this way? Like, I'm trying to pointing,
Speaker:and I wasn't really sure where to go, and he did that blink to
Speaker:me. They don't even nod. It was just a blink, but I'd totally forgotten
Speaker:it. I'm like, excuse me. Should we go this way? And he did it again,
Speaker:and then And I started asking again. He's like, yes.
Speaker:It doesn't go that way. Anyways, fast forward many
Speaker:years, Sammy did that to me once. He just blinked at me
Speaker:as if to say yes to me without verbally saying
Speaker:yes. I thought, Is that it just really
Speaker:surprised me to see a genetic communication.
Speaker:Now maybe he'd learned that as a baby, And it just sort of stuck with
Speaker:him without realizing. He doesn't do it a lot, but I just remember being like,
Speaker:oh, that was very, culturally appropriate
Speaker:response from him. And, you know, perhaps other
Speaker:Ethiopians would kinda say he's definitely responds
Speaker:in that way, but beyond that, I can't really say.
Speaker:Alright. So we're gonna fast forward a bit. You guys finished your
Speaker:time there in Ethiopia. You're bringing him
Speaker:on to an airplane. I share a little bit of that
Speaker:experience. Yes. Yeah. We had to travel. I
Speaker:think we landed in Yemen and then over to Germany and
Speaker:then back to Winnipeg. I remember being really well treated. We
Speaker:actually boarded the airplane on Christmas Eve on
Speaker:Lufthansa, which is a German airline,
Speaker:and they treated us so well. Like, they were just
Speaker:giving us the royal treatment, like, as if we were in 1st class with
Speaker:Sammy, and we had a bassinet. He could sleep there, and
Speaker:Santa Claus came on the airplane. They saw him on the
Speaker:wing, and he came on the airplane, and he was handing out Lufthansa
Speaker:gear, you know, to different people. And That was really, really
Speaker:great. Sammy slept. We slept, as much as we
Speaker:could. But when we landed in in Germany, in Frankfurt, Sammy
Speaker:would not go to sleep. Like, we we we had to walk him
Speaker:around the airport. I remember being so
Speaker:exhausted. Just like, please, please, like, let
Speaker:me stop pushing you so I can rest. And
Speaker:and as soon as we'd stop, he'd wake up or Start crying or or
Speaker:whatever. So maybe, like, just So you're getting a real
Speaker:new mom experience. Right? Yeah. Yeah. Exactly.
Speaker:But The really neat thing was flying
Speaker:home and landing on Christmas day
Speaker:and coming down that elevator, And there was
Speaker:40 or 50 people waiting in the airport for
Speaker:us just blew my mind. To think
Speaker:that people would give up their Christmas dinner together as a family
Speaker:just to be there for us, for Kathy, it was
Speaker:Still is obviously very overwhelming to think of that
Speaker:love that was being poured out on us as a
Speaker:family And to be able to celebrate together on
Speaker:Christ's birthday. I had mentioned in my last our last
Speaker:conversation that We left on my birthday to go to
Speaker:Ethiopia. Sammy joined our family on that when we
Speaker:got to bring him back to the hotel on my mother's birthday, And
Speaker:then we were able to return to Winnipeg on Christ's birthday
Speaker:or when we celebrated, really
Speaker:solidified, like, the timing, the perfect
Speaker:timing. The father's perfect timing. Even
Speaker:back to my question about, can I ask
Speaker:you that we can go earlier than than the
Speaker:group? You know? And just affirming his
Speaker:goodness and grace to us over
Speaker:the many years of pain
Speaker:And, suffering waiting for this day to happen.
Speaker:It was awesome. Best Christmas ever.
Speaker:Absolutely. So we don't have much time to go into
Speaker:what life's been like for the last 15 years with
Speaker:Kathy. But what about this 1st few months? How important
Speaker:was community around you at that point? What kind of supports
Speaker:do you remember We're really helpful during that time.
Speaker:I think those 1st days were
Speaker:wonderful, you know, As much as I'm
Speaker:sure when people bring their babies home from the hospital, you're kind
Speaker:of in like, what is going on? And trying
Speaker:to find a rhythm together as a family.
Speaker:We were getting up at 4:30 in the morning because of the jet lag,
Speaker:and I think that 1st season
Speaker:was very exciting for us, and there is
Speaker:some Beautiful things that happen, like church community put
Speaker:on a sort of a welcome home for Sammy and a fundraiser to help
Speaker:Pay for the adoption and Wendi up raising enough to have paid for
Speaker:the trip itself, which was really wonderful and such a
Speaker:huge blessing to us. And just to know that
Speaker:there was that desire and connection to
Speaker:support us that way, with the family. I did feel some of
Speaker:the isolation of parenting. Eric
Speaker:went back to work almost right away, which is,
Speaker:you know, understandable because we had to keep living.
Speaker:But, then also in feeling more of an isolation, I think,
Speaker:in parenting and probably, again, very normal, I
Speaker:imagine. I think one thing that I probably didn't
Speaker:Speak up about because it seems very selfish that would have been very helpful
Speaker:is how often you hear of, oh, the new
Speaker:baby. Let's bring meals to the family to make sure that they have what they
Speaker:need. And, that was something that I didn't
Speaker:experience, which kinda felt like a bit of a a letdown that way. But
Speaker:I'm sure there's like, oh, well, you didn't give birth to the child, so you
Speaker:probably aren't feeling the physical aftereffects
Speaker:of of birthing a child. I'm guessing that's sort of the
Speaker:mentality or whatever, but I think that I feel like I would have
Speaker:benefited from some of that support just
Speaker:Even emotionally emotional support of knowing that,
Speaker:okay, they're they're thinking about me and and the challenges of
Speaker:parenting a new child. I think that's so important to bring up
Speaker:because, like, that's what our podcast is about, how do we love our
Speaker:neighbors better. And even for those that are bringing in
Speaker:Foster children Mhmm. Or if if they're temporary
Speaker:placements and adoption, like, that's still a new person in a
Speaker:home. Both people are adapting to life and
Speaker:they need to even feel that love and support around them. So
Speaker:People coming around, bringing meals. You don't have to
Speaker:actually physically give birth to a child to need that support and
Speaker:that love surrounding you from your community. Yeah. I do wanna
Speaker:apologize for anyone who did bring me a meal, and I've forgotten that you did.
Speaker:Please don't be offended. So that would have been a challenging journey,
Speaker:feeling isolated like a lot of new moms do because
Speaker:all of a sudden They're left alone. Their spouses aren't around, and they're left
Speaker:with this new person to care for. What are some ways that you're
Speaker:able to Stay strengthened spiritually during that time
Speaker:and even even mentally like, staying mentally healthy during
Speaker:that time. I think the,
Speaker:Opportunity to get to connect with other mothers going
Speaker:through the challenges of parenting is a really good
Speaker:thing. Moms groups, small groups,
Speaker:and taking those opportunities, but also
Speaker:Something I maybe wasn't as good at as I am now
Speaker:is taking care of yourself and taking
Speaker:those The time to get out to exercise, taking the
Speaker:time to be silent and to to be in
Speaker:prayer, to remember That you
Speaker:are an individual as well as a mother, and that you're a
Speaker:couple as well as parents, All those very important
Speaker:pieces, to keep in mind. I know it's hard. It can be
Speaker:hard because it's so easy to get wrapped up in Caring
Speaker:for your children and their needs and
Speaker:their well-being and but just being able to remember our own
Speaker:is good. It's not selfish. It's important so that you can care well,
Speaker:in caring for yourself. Yeah. And I think just the whole journey in of
Speaker:adoption, like, That whole mental health piece is huge. Dealing
Speaker:with infertility, you know, having gone through those years of it
Speaker:and processing it and Grieving, really, that
Speaker:loss, but also in an adoption knowing your family
Speaker:is about to be transformed forever, and I even
Speaker:liken it to getting married. You're making a choice to
Speaker:not be single anymore. You're making a choice for this person, and and the same
Speaker:thing with adoption. You're making a Choice to add this person to your
Speaker:family, and what a beautiful picture of
Speaker:commitment to one another, to saying, I choose you.
Speaker:You know? Just like you do when you're when you're getting married, you say to
Speaker:your your spouse, I choose you From this time forward, it it's
Speaker:the same thing with your child. I choose you,
Speaker:whatever that might mean, And for the future.
Speaker:Choosing to love another person that might not
Speaker:necessarily have that same Family, that
Speaker:same love if we didn't choose it. And that's what
Speaker:Christ does for all of us every day.
Speaker:He chooses to love us, and we get to reciprocate that by loving each
Speaker:other. It is so beautiful. And to be able to be a part of it
Speaker:and to Experience that as a family together and to live that
Speaker:out is sometimes challenging, you know,
Speaker:as as any relationship can be, but I would make that
Speaker:choice all over again. Now if you were doing it all over again, I'm
Speaker:gonna ask this question I did last episode. What kind of words would have been
Speaker:helpful for you to hear? I think just in the whole parenting
Speaker:piece, I would say to myself, relax,
Speaker:enjoy, because the years
Speaker:speed by so quickly and
Speaker:celebrate each moment. What do you think the
Speaker:Lord thinks about your adoption journey? If you looked at his
Speaker:face and told him that story, what would the look on
Speaker:his face be? I can only think that it's joy.
Speaker:Do you know that yes. Yes.
Speaker:That That creation of family. I
Speaker:mean, isn't that what he did when he created us?
Speaker:That finally being able to Pour out his
Speaker:love on us, the human race, that
Speaker:he's made us to be in relationship with that
Speaker:almost like a A dam bursting, you know, and the water
Speaker:gushing out. Finally finally, I can pour out
Speaker:my love. Yeah. The reality is we are all part of
Speaker:an adoption. He's adopted us, and
Speaker:so this conversation's relevant for all of us. We can get a
Speaker:glimpse into his heart, and we're so thankful that you you shared your story.
Speaker:We got to see a piece of the lord's heart that you've demonstrated for
Speaker:us. So thanks for joining us.
Speaker:Thank you for joining another conversation on Journey with Care, where
Speaker:we inspire They're curious Canadians on their path of faith and
Speaker:living life with purpose in community. Journey with Care is an
Speaker:initiative of Care Impact, a Canadian charity dedicated to
Speaker:connecting and equipping the whole church to journey well in community.
Speaker:You can visit their website CareImpact dotca, or visit journey with
Speaker:care dotca to get more information on weekly episodes, journey
Speaker:with prayer, and details about our upcoming events and Meetups.
Speaker:You can also leave us a message, share your thoughts, and connect with like
Speaker:minded individuals who are on their own journeys of faith and Purpose.
Speaker:Thank you for sharing this podcast and helping these stories reach the
Speaker:community. Together, we can explore ways to journey in a good way.
Speaker:And always remember to stay curious.
