Messy Advice... | Ditch the Guilt, Not the Care

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This one's for everyone who's ever wondered, can I love my neighbor without

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making them a casserole? Because let's be honest, church

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culture sometimes makes it feel like the most sacred spiritual act

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is signing up for a meal train before your coffee even kicks in.

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Welcome to Messy Advice for People Who Care, a summer series from

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Journey with Care to anyone who's ever said yes before thinking it through and then

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wondering what they just signed up for. We're talking about caregiving,

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boundaries, burnout, and the not so clear moments of loving others

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well, minus the formulas. This is Johan on

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the edge of helpful because someone has to answer the hard questions,

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and apparently it's me.

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We've all felt the weight of care, whether it's in ministry,

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family, work, or just trying to be a decent human

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being. And sometimes that weight turns into something we were

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never meant to carry. Today's question gets right into the

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heart of that tension. How do I show up for

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others without always feeling like I'm responsible for fixing

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everything? Now that's a big one, and,

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honestly, a lot of us are asking the same thing.

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According to Stats Canada, nearly one in four Canadians, that's

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around 8,000,000 people, provided some form of unpaid

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caregiving, and more than half of them reported feeling tired,

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anxious, or overwhelmed by it. So, yeah, statistically

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speaking, if you're feeling overwhelmed, it might just mean that you're doing

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life in Canada correctly. But let's zoom in on what it

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actually feels like. Now my first piece of advice

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would be delete the phrase, just let me know if you need anything

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from your vocabulary. It's vague, passive, and

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emotionally loaded. And if you do let them know, you're

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probably gonna panic. Picture this. You're in the

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church lobby after service. Someone shares that they're having a hard

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week. You nod, smile, and suddenly feel that pressure

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building. Should I offer help? Should I bring a meal?

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Should I be doing more? That moment, that's compassion

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spiked with panic and seasoned with a little savior complex.

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We've all felt it. It's the quiet assumption that love

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equals action equals fixing equals exhaustion.

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But does it? Let's get biblical.

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Biblical. This brought me back to Mark one.

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Jesus had been healing the sick, casting out demons, meeting

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real urgent needs, and the crowds are still

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pressing in. And the next morning, Jesus

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disappears. The disciples go on a full manhunt.

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And when they finally find him withdrawn from the crowd and praying, they

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say, everyone's looking for you. And Jesus says,

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well, let's go somewhere else. You see, Jesus doesn't

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rush to meet every need. He doesn't react to that

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pressure that was put on him. He chooses what's next,

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not out of guilt, but out of purpose. That's not

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indifference, it's clarity. Jesus shows us that love

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isn't always about doing more. Sometimes it's about doing what's

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right and letting go of the rest. So maybe the question

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for you isn't, am I doing enough? Maybe it's,

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am I doing what's mine to do? This week, try showing

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up in love, but with honesty, not from guilt and not from

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pressure. And if that sounds impossible, maybe that's where the

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spirit meets us, in the pause between urgency and

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obligation. Love becomes more sustainable when it's guided

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by purpose, not pressure. And, hey, if that hits

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close to home, you're not alone. These aren't just questions that we ask

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on the mic. They're the kind that live in the background of a lot of

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care filled lives. And if you wanna join the conversation,

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come join us on the Care Impact podcast group on Facebook.

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Until next time, keep loving, keep laughing, and set the

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casserole down unless it's already in the oven, in which case,

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bless you and remember to stay curious.